Originally released in Japan on the PC Engine (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM), Cho Aniki features heroes Idaten and Benten, who use giant, nearly naked muscle-men Adon and Samson as weapons against the evil emperor of Planet Builder, who is invading neighboring star systems in search of the protein he needs to bulk up. It may cost 900 Wii Points, but trust me - you aren't a real man until you've played Cho Aniki.

Wii-kly Update

One WiiWare Game and Two Virtual Console Games Added to Wii Shop Channel

School’s back in session, but it’s not the only place to get your brain buzzing. This week’s additions to the Wii™ Shop Channel include a challenging new puzzle game available via WiiWare™, plus a pair of crackling Virtual Console™ actioners to keep your imagination raging between classes. Even if your school days are behind you, this latest lineup of downloadable titles will help get you fired up for fall, fueled by the one-of-a-kind fun of Nintendo’s top-selling Wii™ system.

Nintendo adds new and classic games to the Wii Shop Channel at 9 a.m. Pacific time every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week’s new games are:

WiiWare

Groovin’ Blocks (Empty Clip Studios, 1-2 players, Rated E for Everyone, 800 Wii Points): A music-based game like no other, Groovin’ Blocks adds innovative musical game play to an addictive action/puzzle game foundation. Play to the rhythm of the music to increase your score, and try to hit “Superbeats” to double your multiplier. Go for the high score in each of the 27 stages as you collect stars to unlock 15 levels of power-ups. Groovin’ Blocks features three skill levels, from the accessible Casual to the fiendish Hard mode. Play with your friends in co-op mode or against them head-to-head. Head-to-head brings it up a notch as the power-ups now become attacks on your opponent. Play head-to-head with people of all skill levels using a golf-style handicapping system.

Virtual Console

Final Solider (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone—Mild Fantasy Violence, 700 Wii Points): A vertically scrolling shooter from the well-known Soldier series. In the 23rd century, invaders from the future suddenly attack Earth. Controlling a fighter created by the world’s scientists, you rise to meet the enemy. Collect power-up units, such as LASER, E-BEAM, FIRE and MISSILE, and then equip them in Options to launch a variety of attacks. For each of these weapons, you can freely select from three different types in SET-UP. Anticipate enemies’ strikes and deftly switch between weapons to defeat the invaders. In addition to NORMAL GAME, there are also 2 MINUTE GAME and 5 MINUTE GAME score-attack modes. The most perfect blend and balance of any game in the series, Final Soldier is a title you don’t want to miss.

Cho Aniki (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM, 1 player, Rated E10+ for Everyone and Older—Mild Fantasy Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes, 900 Wii Points): The odd world in this shooter made for quite the conversation piece in its day. Players control either Idaten or Benten, celestial warriors out to bring an end to the tyrannical rule of the emperor of Planet Builder, who holds muscular prowess to be the supreme virtue of the universe. Aided by able-bodied muscle-head options Adon and Samson, they must battle to defeat the emperor’s army across five stages. Use the buttons to fire away and lay into the Builder forces. Power up your character and options with protein from defeated enemies to have them “bulk up” with a yell, and take their macho battle to the next level.

The list of downloadable games is updated weekly on Nintendo’s Online Press Room at press.nintendo.com. For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com or contact:

It will join its TurboGrafx-16 sibling Final Soldier, prepping us for the upcoming PSP remake of the same game and confusing the masses with its overly bizarre everything. Start your posing now.

Known for its ripped abs, bulging biceps and bethonged stars Adon and Samson, the Cho Aniki games take bizarre to 11, with zombie Elvis ships, fish with ripped arms and sexy giant snowmen. The two bodybuilders have enjoyed many side-scrolling shooting outings together, but Zero Cho Aniki appears to be a remake of one of the PC Engine — Turbografx-16 over here — CD-based titles.

PSP Hyper writes that it's a remake of the very first Cho Aniki, which would make sense given the "zero" in the title, in which the musclemen took a backseat to the more clothed Idaten and Benten. Expect this UMD full of beefcake to stay Japan only.

Classic Shooter Chou Aniki Revived for PSP [PSPHyper via Game|Life]

Maker of fine Japanese amusement products Extreme recently launched a new Cho Aniki web site, with teaser imagery and.... that's about it.

As you can see, the "Super Big Brothers" of Cho Aniki are joined by two additional characters, an overly buff anime-coiffed male character and a well-stacked female character. These appear to be Itaden and Benten, stars of the original Cho Aniki game for the PC Engine. Could this mean a remake? A current generation sequel? A Virtual Console release for the Wii? Only time will tell! Michael McWhertor

Cho Aniki Homepage [Extreme]

Over at Destructoid, a site which apparently functions as a cross-posting repository for all of our favorite amateur game bloggers, they've posted a great little overview of what might possibly be the most homoerotic game series of all time: Cho Aniki.

Cho Aniki is probably best known for being among the most arguably homosexual video games ever created, or to be objective it stars more muscular men in thongs than any other shooter ever. It's one part Hard Gay and one part Sexy Parodius whose most prominant release was on the PC Engine, which means massive sprites and great music... and lots of misplaced muscle groups. But alas, this game remains rare and weird as it was only played by a) The Japanese and b) a few amused teenage guys with part time jobs in the 90's.

Perhaps most alarming to me is that I recognize many of these scenes from my own homo-oneiric fantasies. For example, that giant Japanese hedonist puncturing a metallic sphere with a muscle-man erection? An LSD-inspired hallucination I had at a party, circa 1999, after Crecente passed-out next to me and slammed his head face-first into my crotch. Crecente, with the shaved head he sported at the time, took the place of the muscle man. Florian Eckhardt

Weird Game Wednesday: Cho Aniki series [Destructoid]