This silver bullet will apparently come in the form of a patch for the Xbox 360 version of the game, which is "going through certification now". So it shouldn't be too far off.

While this won't end all cheating in the game, it should certainly curtail most of it, and in the time it takes the cheats to come up with workarounds you, Ice-T and Xzibit can come through buildings without fear of rule-breakers.

[FourZeroTwo @ Twitter]

Developers Guerilla Games have issued a curt, ominous statement on the matter, which reads:

Glitchers risk losing their PSN ID altogether. We've been quite lenient so far but that's going to change.

OK, so it's not that ominous. Because there's no money involved, a PSN ID isn't as valuable as, say, an Xbox Live one (though, as some have pointed out in comments, they'd probably lose any and all downloaded content as well). Then again, if you're keen enough to cheat, you're probably self-centred enough to care about your trophies, so hopefully the threat carries weight with some of the no-do-gooders.

[Killzone @ Twitter, via Destructoid]

This clip from the full documentary, which can be viewed at the link below, shows the woman Dutch is now married to, along with the woman Dutch was formerly married to, and from a purely shallow point-of-view, you could probably say he traded up. Looking at things from the emotional side of things, he's still a giant dick.

Note that this clip contains simulated Second Life sex scenes, and a bit of understandably harsh language. To get a look at the treasure that is Dutch in the flesh, you'll have to sit through the full documentary. Sorry!

The Fifth Estate: Strangers In Paradise [CBC - Thanks Putter5!]

Lest anyone missed this little gem among the E3 hubbub, Blizzard has scored a victory against WoW bot maker Glider. Don't remember that whole kerfluffle? Blizzard sued Glider over EULA infringement for copying code, as well as the ancillary issue of pissing WoW users up and gobbling up resources. Glider shot back with 'But grinding your way to level 70 is boooooring.' Probably unsurprisingly, this argument did not go over very well in court and Blizzard won its summary judgment motion. All's well that end's well ... or is it? Over at PlayNoEvil, there's some interesting analysis on what this judgment could mean and why it may not be all that it's cracked up to be:

1. This ruling is very dangerous to any third party utility provider. Especially security companies like Symantec, who load programs and "check them out" to see if they are malicious. Ironically, it would seem that Blizzard's own security program, Warden, would be imperiled by this notion of copyright ....

3. What if Blizzard wins? After a long fight, Blizzard defeated the unauthorized Battle.Net server developers, BnetD, which simply drove the system outside the US where it is still available. It is actually surprising that MDY didn't move its business offshore to a country where this suit could not have been effectively tried or did not have a copyright treat with the US.

4. Legal solutions to business and technical problems are terribly inefficient an expensive. While they may be able to shut MDY down and even bankrupt the company (and perhaps its owners), how much will this have cost Blizzard and how long until another equivalent product is made available. Might MDY simply publish the source code to Glider as a "finger in the eye" gesture at Blizzard? (or "leak" it onto the Internet?)

No doubt this case hasn't been put to bed quite yet — any future developments should be pretty interesting.

Blizzard Wins Key Judgments Against WoW Bot Maker MDY on Copyright and Tortious Interference Claims [Virtually Blind] and A Pyrrhic Victory? Blizzard vs. Glider [PlayNoEvil]

Terra Nova has mirrors of the summary judgment motions, as well as a quick little wrap-up; Rock, Paper, Shotgun gets to the nitty gritty and also has a poll (question: 'Should Blizzard crush Glider?' options: 'Aye! Bots = cheating,' 'Nay! Grinding = misery,' 'Ayenay! Blizzard should provide a levelling service themselves' - thus far, 'Aye!' is winning), and PlayNoEvil has some analysis up from a security standpoint.

Blizzard v WoW Glider: Interesting, no? [Terra Nova]; Democracy Inaction: Blizzard vs Bots [Rock, Paper, Shotgun]; World of Warcraft Warden vs. Glider - Which is the Lesser Evil? Who owns my computer? {PlayNoEvil]

PS3 Fanboy explains the new banning policy in Insomniac's Resistance: Fall of Man: offensive clan and user names will get you banned permanently, which actual cheating (lag cheats etc.) will merely get you suspended, on an increasing basis (first suspension is 24 hours, second is 48, and so on and so forth).

Over at PlayNoEvil, it's pointed out that this policy "does seem odd. Clan names are easy and cheap to detect and fix while cheats are a more serious threat to the game." Maggie Greene

Insomniac sets up a ban policy for Resistance [PS3 Fanboy via PlayNoEvil]

My opinion? He needs to be sued. They need to stop selling the software. Markee Dragon believes differently, claiming that being able to bot character 24/7 is just the same as hiring a power levelling service, which is true...they both break the EULA, only in different ways. People should really start reading that thing. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a lot fewer unguilded night elf hunters once this matter is settled. Huzzah! Michael Fahey

Blizzard officially files against WoW Glider. Blizzard Vs. MDY Industries [Markee Dragon via Slashdot]

Earlier this week it was revealed that there was some alleged cheating going on in Eve Online. The kicker was, the cheating was being credited to the game's development team. Yesterday, on EO's developer's blog, a dev known only as CCP t20 comes forth and admits that he/she was actually the perpetrator of the nefarious deed.

I'm here, laying out the facts of what happened in June 2006 so this whole issue — which jeopardized my colleagues, my company and our community — can be put behind us, I hope for the better.

The blueprints in question will be returned to CCP and reintroduced through a new raffle in the future. Specifically, these are:

* Flameburst Precision Light Missile Blueprint
* Phalanx Rage Rocket Blueprint
* Havoc Fury Heavy Missile Blueprint
* Bloodclaw Fury Light Missile Blueprint
* Spike L Blueprint
* Sabre Blueprint

Regrettably, my actions inevitably led to a shadow of suspicion being cast on a number of my co-workers, as well as Reikoku and Band of Brothers. I wish to make it clear that I acted alone and my co-workers and corp/alliance mates have been cleared of any alleged wrongdoing.

As much as this is a confession it is also a request for your forgiveness for events of which I'm truly sorry.

While I think it's great this guy came forward and cleared the names of his fellow colleagues and players, it really doesn't take a lot of balls to admit you're wrong when you don't have to print your real name. Flynn De Marco

on recent allegations [Eve Insider Dev Blog - Thanks, Doomstalk]

It seems those crafty Microsoft employees have put the kibosh on that business with the newest update of the 360 dashboard. Tank over at 2old2play was able to turn up some details.

The fall Dashboard introduces a hybrid locking system which renders most of these cheating tactics useless. Only some of the 'unlocked' style game saves currently work and to guarantee they work, they need to be re-done on an updated Xbox360 and then re-uploaded to a game sharing site.

Many of the top scorers on the World leaderboards have admitted to cheating and the former World #1 Ranked player, ST The King has stepped down from his throne, although it's not clear whether he actually cheated his way there.

For a more in-depth look at Achievement Cheating check out 2old2play, a favorite site for old geezers like me. Flynn De Marco

Microsoft takes a stand against Achievement Cheating [2old2play]

After the Overrated guild—their name, not my opinion—decided to install wall hacks to make the raid to Temple of Ahn'Qiraj boss C'Thun a little bit easier, Blizz decided to issue some bans. So they banned the whole guild.

From the WoW forums (Psst! Legendary thread!):

A few minutes ago we went from having a near-raid online to having seven. I didn't clearly, but only because my raid attendance has been remiss lately. Let me explain.

We are the only US Horde guild that clears Naxx, been like that for a few weeks. People found that the pre-C'thun trash was so painful, that they decided to install some stupid thing that deletes walls or something, and you can just run there after Skeram.

I know, we had it coming, blah blah whatever, we know we deserve it. I actually think it's hilarious because I was calling them all idiots for doing it. I'm sure they'll try and get it rescinded because it's kind of a steep punishment with no recourse or whatever.

Aww. That's such a shame! Michael McWhertor

WOW guild banned [Gamespot]

Chris Tarrant, British radio personality best known for hosting Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, has also appeared in advertisements for Brain Age.

His recent marital infidelities, heavily covered by British paparazzi, have reputedly increased sales drastically for both the DS Lite, and Professor Kawashima's Brain Training: How Old Is Your Brain?

One particular advert depicted Tarrant forgetting his wedding anniversary and getting kicked out by his wife, only to use the game to improve his memory skills. Obviously this particular scenario rang true for countless husbands across the nation, resulting in mass Brain Training to avoid similar marital situations.

While cheating is never on the up-and-up, one must hand it to the old bean.Eliza Gauger

Brain Training sales improve after Tarrant's marital breakdown [Computer and Video Games]

There are tons of these vids floating around the Intertubes, making me think that there either a lot of people really good at math or a lot of people good at cheating. Regardless, I'm amazed the game can read this guy's chicken scrawl, because mine causes it to go haywire. That, and when I say "blue." Brian Ashcraft

Aeropause recently had the misfortune of joining a
Game of Halo 2's Big Team Battle which had been shat upon by a cheater. Aeropause messaged the guy after the match and somehow got him to agree to an interview.

Unfortunately, names have been changed to protect the shitweasel. But this little interview goes to show that cheaters are not only irritating, they're stupid as well. From Aeropause I also stole this image of the cheater in question at his tenth birthday party, where his chin was tragically lost in a cakeface accident. The little guy didn't let it keep him down, though!

Observe this excerpt from the interview, in which Schmuck follows up his assertion that "everyone wants to cheat" with a defensive "like I give a flying fuck what other gamers think about me".

Aeropause: The rise of online gaming has had its share of hurdles and one of the greatest hurdles is getting rid of cheaters such as yourself. What advice would you give game designers to help discourage cheaters?

Schmuck5000: Give Up! There is no way to stop us. Everyone wants to cheat and we will always find a way to do it. Anyone reading this is simply jealous of the fact that I have enough nuts to cheat and play the game the way I want to.

Aeropause: Everyone online including myself see you as the scum of online gaming. How do you respond to that?

Schmuck5000: Like I give a flying F**k what other gamers think about me. As long as there are games there will be cheaters, why should I stop if no one else does, as far as I see it I am evening out the playing field!

Brilliant reposte. Eliza Gauger

An Interview With A Cheater [Aeropause]

Battlefield 2142's beta has been out for all of not-quite-a-month, and already the servers are filthy with vermin:

Since it's out in the public, hackers of the original Battlefield 2 have already hacked the beta version, which is reportedly easy, since the game is built using the same engine.

Only a few modifications are needed to install a BF2 hack in the BF2142 beta, apparently EA/DICE haven't fixed the problems with the engine before starting on Battlefield 2142.

My question, as always, is WHY. Why make flesh the accusation that you suck so bad, you cannot actually play the game? There's a video, too. Disgusting. Eliza Gauger

Hacked Already [Digital Battle, via Digg]

The disgruntled rumblings over in the YouTube comments section indicate that this adorable three year old acing a Gran Turismo map should be thrown right in the dirty cheater's orphanarium. They postulate a masterful adult stands behind him with a controller. Me? I dunno — listen to that adorable baby smack talk her starts burbling afterwards. He's just pleased as peaches with himself.

What do you think? Do the rotations of the wheel correspond with the actual play? Is this mere child a no-good, dirty cheat? Florian Eckhardt

Let's face it. We all need some inspiration, some get up and go, some words of wisdom. Game blog Aggro Me created a gallery of posters that do precisely that, but mixes in the funny. Classic! Brian Ashcraft

More Here [Aggro Me] via Wonderland

Also: it has come to our attention that some people have been 'cheating' on the puzzle. Well, not really cheating, but definitely not figuring it out for themselves.

I personally have nothing but sympathy. If Kotaku employees want a chance at winning the DS Lite, our course is clear: sleep with Crecente. Thirty seconds of crying into a pillow later and we're there. It's relatively easy. But you poor souls: you have to twist your noodles to the task of solving a puzzle so difficult it would challenge a Cylon.

Never the less, please try to come up with the answer for yourselves... or, at least, cheat a bit more surreptitiously. Not only is it more fun that way, but if you're silly enough to cheat in a way that can be Googled, you're actually degrading your chances of winning the DS Lite, not increasing them, because every other idiot out there will be just as able to dig it up.

And if you're degrading your chances to win a regular Nintendo DS Lite pack, you're also degrading your chances to win the Euro Black DS Lite I'll be sending out next week.

Please don't cheat. Or pay good money to cheat. It's less fun and pretty much fucks you over in the long run. Plus, Crecente has been putting a lot of effort into these great puzzles and it makes him cry. Good luck, guys! Florian Eckhardt

Well, good news. Via Cathode Tan, we discovered this excellent resource for exploting Halo 2's many, MANY architectural glitches. It is apparently possible to get to the top of any level and snipe away and these guys have videos to prove it.

Who the heck spends the time to figure these things out anyway? FLORIAN ECKHARDT

Halo 2 Multiplayer Glitches [FPSGaming] (via Cathode Tan)

GamesFirst just posted a plainspoken followup to Bungie's Waaahmbulance article, explaining exactly what those sad specimens were doing to get banhammered.

The bridger is the center of power in a cheating set-up. They use a fairly complex method to run the Xbox's Internet connection through a personal computer. On the computer they use stock software including the popular Zone Alarm firewall program to control what computers the Xbox can connect to. By using some tricky methods, bridgers can completely control the hosting of the game. They can determine who can connect, they can lag out especially good players on the opposing team, and, most importantly, they facilitate the "standby" technique.

What's most amusing about all this is that these cheating shitweasels aren't actually getting anything out of it. They slither up the rankings, and then what? They're set against far superior players, and if they try to go legit they're simply smashed into a sort of viscous goo. Well done indeed. Eliza Gauger

A Bridge Too Far: The World of Halo 2 Cheating [GamesFirst!]

Earlier this week, Crecente posted how to get 99 lives in New Super Mario Bros. For the visual learners out there, here's a clip. Pretty cool, huh? —Brian Ashcraft