This just in from the Weekly World News - a Tooth Fairy gazette that straight-faced writes about stuff like Bat Boy and alien abductions of cheerleaders, so consider the source. It's like comic books for old ladies at the hairdo place. In fact, if the Weekly World News reported "Owen Good works for Kotaku," I would call Crecente to ask why I had been fired.

Anyway, they say Sheen - who was in fact arrested - and wife Mueller sparred in Wii boxing, "the dangerously lifelike boxing simulation game." But not realistic enough for the competitive couple. "Soon enough an argument arose over the Wii not being responsive or realistic enough, and a real boxing match broke out in the living room." Mmm hm.

WWN says Sheen suffered "three broken ribs and two cracked teeth," and his victorious wife taunted him by text after he got out of the slammer. They also say Sheen's middle name is Inigo Montoya.

Charlie Sheen Arrested [Weekly World News, story and faked pic. The site is parody and/or satire. I mean, really, Megan Fox is a man? Plus it has a WordPress favicon.]

Flashed, modded or whatever, we doubt there's a hard drive large enough to truly hold all of that kind of content, even just the core titles worth having. (such as "Gears of Whore," "Asses Creed," or "Donkey Punch 22.") "He just put it in it," says the hiphop artist, implying that a modder arranged this for him and the content he dials up likely isn't disc-based. Why, s—t, he tells us he even set aside the hard drive space to install PONG.

Lil' Wayne Has a Modded Xbox? [Gamertag Radio via Destructoid]

Giz put this up yesterday, alongside a video of Ice destroying a six-year-old MacBook. It was uploaded back in April. I'm pointing this out because I hope, since then, Cliffy B has changed his number. Because it's in this video for all the world to see.

Don't try to comprehend this, just take it all in and react. It's good to see, however, that the rich are not so different from you or I. They cuss during FPS multiplayer too. And actually, I have a better headset.

Ice-T Demolishes PowerBook, Hates Noobs, Loves His Wife (And So Do we...) [Gizmodo, thanks Insidious Tuna]

We reported yesterday that gaming research analyst Jesse Divnich of the EEDAR group sees impressive results in Activision and Nintendo's recent use of non-game celebrities to hype games.

Celebrities and games. They've crossed paths plenty of times before, but we reached out to Divnich for more insight. He said that a new celebrity endorsement era is upon us.

"The use of celebrities to endorse games they aren't actually in is relatively new and rightfully so," he wrote to Kotaku in an e-mail. "It wasn't until 2006 that we began to see a large influx of casual and mainstream gamers into the market." He credits the simplistic controls of the Wii and DS for expanding the demographic to more people who would be swayed by a celebrity pitch-person.

Also important, he noted, is that the number of games being made has diminished since 2005, even as industry revenue has doubled. That means that big titles are making more money, enough to justify plunking down some dough for a celebrity endorsement.

Divnich said that the celebrity-who-isn't-even-in-the-game endorsement strategy has worked:

"In March, Nintendo ran a series of commercials with Lisa Kudrow to promote Professor Layton. The results? Sales in March 2009 surpassed first month sales back in February 2008. The game got a serious second-wind on retail shelves. Not because of an expansion pack or a price drop — common reasons why we would sales increase. It was all because a commercial was shot with a celebrity playing the game for 30 seconds, that's it!"

The other example Divnich likes to cite is the Rock Band - Guitar Hero war. He said that the amount of marketing money invested in each has been similar but that, in his view, the celebrity-focused campaign of Guitar Hero has helped it win out in the sales race this past season against Rock Band, which was advertised with game characters.

So… the idea is that celebrities, who have, until recently, seldom promoted games they're not in, can turn games into hits by playing them in TV commercials. Even a year after the game was released. Your gaming dollars at work. Sold?

There are many ways that star game reviewer and Giant Bomb honcho Jeff Gerstmann and star model Heidi Klum are unalike. One of those, may be their ability to impact the sales of games.

Klum may have the edge there.

Celebrities, EEDAR games research analyst Jesse Divnich wrote in a report issued this morning, are trumping reviewers.

"Using celebrities in a mass-market media campaign is certainly one of the most effective ways to create the perception of being a must-own title," he said. "In fact, the Guitar Hero/Rock Band war is a perfect example of how Guitar Hero was ultimately able to gain mass-market acceptance through celebrity endorsements and advertisement even though editorial reviews indicated that Rock Band was a better product."

Rock Band has had the better reviews. But it is Guitar Hero that has had Heidi Klum, Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriguez and other celebrities dancing in their underwear on TV in order to convince the world how good Activision's rhythm game is. They mattered more, in EEDAR's analysis, than did the game's reviews.

Take that, Jeff Gerstman, Kotaku and every other person or institution reviewing games.

"In this new gaming market," Divnich wrote, "when targeting a mass-audience, it is not always the best products that succeed, but often what the consumers believe is the best product. "

Divnich's analysis was part of his preview for this Thursday's release of NPD game sales for the month of April. That month saw the release of Rhythm Heaven for the Nintendo DS, a game that was promoted with a commercial featuring Beyonce Knowles. The EEDAR analyst believes that the game's sales will be shown later this week to be "nothing short of amazing" due to Nintendo's use of a celebrity to support it, moreso than because the game is exceptionally good.

For as long as video games have been around, celebrities have been enlisted infrequently to hawk them. Games have been treated like movies, allowing the content to hype itself.

But the prospect that Divnich raises is that maybe games should be hyped as products, like soda or cars. Instead of the occasional celebrity endorsement based on the celebrity's inclusion in the game — see Mike Tyson's commercial for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out — perhaps gaming is entering an era of celebrity pitch-people telling the masses what to play. If so, Nintendo and Activision, which have enlisted stars from Nicole Kidman and Mr. T to Ozzy Osbourne and Liv Tyler, appear to be leading that revolution.

OK. So which celebrities should have been pushing Prince of Persia and Chinatown Wars to help those games out?

Or maybe that's just former Friends star Matthew Perry, who tells the ladies of the view that he's been playing Bethesda Softworks' Fallout 3 to the point of carpal tunnel. Watch as he calls out Elisabeth Hasselbeck for her ignorance of open-world post-apocalyptic shooter adventures. She only knows the Wii Sports! Then watch as it devolves into obligatory wanking references...

We'd like to think that Perry's Fallout 3 obsession helps him overcome having to star in the bazillionth remake of Freaky Friday. But maybe he'll find work on a new Fallout-themed TV show.

This is clearly not news, but still potentially valuable. Say, for instance, you happen to run into Ms. Fox on the street. Not only can you wow her with your expertise on all things Transformers — particularly your deep knowledge of Cybertronian geography — you can break the ice with Guitar Hero trivia.

Given these newly published Kotaku Stalku tagged candid photos of the Transformers star wailing away on some Wii platform version of Guitar Hero, we're sure Fox would love to hear about your "Through the Fire and Flames" high score.

Megan Fox Plays Guitar Hero, Still Too Hot For You [Egotastic - thanks, Dennis!]

"They wanted me to do Ripley and I said, Well you have Ripley killing aliens but also sick people and other marines! And every other word out of my mouth was a curse word. I'm not a nun or anything, but I said, ‘This is not true to the character.' And they also showed me six video games and said it was going to be made by this company. There was one called ‘Rednecks' where they shoot animals. The whole thing was so ridiculous."

The developer in question remains a mystery, seeing as the only game that fits - Redneck Rampage - was developed by Xatrix Entertainment, who never worked on an Aliens title. Perhaps we're now finding out why they never worked on the Aliens franchise.

As for participating in Atari's upcoming Ghostbusters games, Weaver claimed she was either never contacted, or was simply too busy to respond at the time and forgot it ever happened. I'd say this was a loss for Ghostbusters fans, but I never really liked her character in the series in the first place. As far as I am concerned, Weaver should be required to shave her head and weild a futuristic weapon in every movie she appears in.

Sigourney Weaver Appalled By Offer To Be In ‘Aliens' Game, Not Slated For ‘Ghostbusters' [MTV Multiplayer]

Microsoft is kicking off a party this Friday over Xbox live, and we Americans and Japanese folks aren't invited. This one's for you Europe. It's a pan-European Xbox Live Party, featuring chances to test your skills against celebrities like Busta Rhymes, James Morrison, Alessandro del Piero, Martin Solveig, and Marc Gen , only one of which I've ever heard of but I am assured that this is exciting news for you folks. Be excited! Busta Rhymes will be hosting the event from a secret location from 8pm to 11pm, and "will pit his wits against the cream of UK talent."

I could continue naming names here that I don't recognize or understand the cultural significance of, but you'd see right through that, especially seeing as I just mentioned it. In a nutshell, huge European Xbox Live party with chances to school famous people who have no idea how to game. Consider it Microsoft's way of reminding you, this month before the PlayStation 3 launch, that they love you more. Full details follow the jump! Michael Fahey

Party With The Stars On Xbox Live

Be part of the biggest live gaming event across Europe - Xbox Live Party

LONDON, 5th February 2007 - February 9th looks set to enter the record books, as celebrities and thousands of gamers log into the biggest pan-European live gaming event of the year on the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system. Huge stars, including American hip hop artist Busta Rhymes, UK singer and songwriter James Morrison, 2006 FIFA World Cup winning squad member Alessandro del Piero, DJ and producer Martin Solveig and Peugeot's Le Man's driver Marc Gen , take part in a series of party events across Europe linked up through the award winning Xbox Live online service.

Hip hop legend Busta is bringing his game to the UK to host the event at a secret London location from 8pm-11pm and will pit his wits against the cream of UK talent including Dizzee Rascal, Lady Sovereign and Plan B. Joining the hip hop crew will be England and Arsenal striker Theo Walcott, R'n B singer songwriters Lemar and Simon Webbe, plus a host of musical talent from the UK scene.

It is thought thousands of the five million Xbox Live members worldwide will be logging on with friends, musicians, footballers and DJs alike to take part in this unique event, giving gamers the chance to not only chat with their favourite stars, but challenge them to a game on the Xbox 360. For your chance to play against one of the top celebrities taking part, all you have to do is send your details to the following email address: xboxliveparty@njlive.co.uk

In the subject line of the email put the name of the celebrity that you would like to play against and in the body of the mail please include the following information:

Name
Age
Nationality
Gamertag

If you are selected to play you will receive all the information you need to take part nearer the time.

Gamers are also being encouraged to host their own Xbox Live Party. Xbox 360 owners can join the party from the comfort of their homes by signing into Xbox Live at 17.00GMT/18.00CET on February 9th. Xbox will be giving away Xbox Live Vision Cameras to whoever sends in the best pictures from their Xbox Live Party night.

For more information on this event, please visit: http://www.xbox.com/enGB/live/party

The cool kids at GameVideos put together a handy compilation of their attempts at famous Mii characters, featuring the likes of everyone's favorite Nintendo character Adolf Hitler, smirking veep Dick Cheney, main man J. Christ, grief capitalizer Jack Thompson, funnyman Conan O'Brien, Nintendo prez Satoru Iwata and so many more. The dashing Mark MacDonald also gives you a quick rundown of how each one was created, for your copying or perfecting pleasure. Enjoy! Michael McWhertor

After parking on a "better hide the laptop" kind of street, I walked my way over to the Best Buy on La Brea, strolling past the hundreds upon hundreds of campers and line-sitters passed out and sprawled out on the sidewalk

A few dozen patient potential PS3 owners had run out of sidewalk, forcing a second line across the street. The annex line was full of kids who smelled way too good, dressed way too sharp to dirty themselves with a three day line-up. This was the fresh crowd. And it looked like they too were going to get a PS3 tonight.

I called my friend, Freeloadin' Scott Andrews who had just parked and planned to meet at the media entrance. He paused carefully to take this snapshot.

After checking in at the press desk, then meeting up with Scott, we weaseled our way in to the party zone. No one of note really, save Danny "Surely I've Killed A Guy" Trejo, Stan "The Man" Lee and some very tall basketball playing type (look, I don't follow the sports, okay?) had made their way into the event.

They'd be here soon enough, but Scott and I decided to work our way in, check out the scene, and maybe score a late dinner. Sushi, burgers, chili, corndogs, all manner of hors d'oeuvres, mashed potatoes, BBQ beef sandwiches, donuts, Jamba Juice, mini-pastries, it was all there for the devouring.

We first checked out the Resistance: Fall of Man set up. Behind it were a few PS3's with Call of Duty 3 running. Both stationgs were patrolled by fake military types, but occupied by real life military types.

After watching the above enlisted man get his ass handed to him repeatedly by a Chimera Titan in Resistance, I gave him a few pointers, to no avail. He was a lost cause.

A quartet of Guitar Hero II demo stations were just behind us, so I figured, what the hell, I'll get a couple songs in before the perfumed masses arrive. Before I knew it, a "Shout At The Devil" here, a "Killing In The Name Of" there, the place was packed.

Then George Constanza... crap, I mean Jason Alexander appeared, ready to rock out.

Unfortunately, he sucked like you wouldn't believe. He made it about 14% through one song on Easy before throwing in the towel.

The rest of the party featured playable PS3 and PS2 kiosks, ranging from titles like Motorstorm (looking much improved), NBA 2K7 (shiny, pretty), Need For Speed Carbon (hideous, as it was shockingly fed through composite cables into Sony Bravia displays) and... Pimp My Ride? (Yes, Xzibit was there.) After mocking the game and the girl playing it a little too loud, we decided to check out the Blu-Ray igloo.

Reps from various movie studios were on hand to answer questions and hand out free discs, but we got trapped either at the bar or planted comfortably in front of the Panasonic Elite displays, soaking in the crystal clear imagery. Yeah, that's right. We were at a party with free booze watching TV. Pathetic.

We emerged from the bustling igloo to witness a half-dozen Laker girls strutting their stuff. What else can you do at this point?

Soon enough, Camp Freddy/pretty-much-Velvet Revolver took the stage, clearly there to collect a paycheck and cover some of their favorite songs. I saw Slash. The night bordered on surreal.

They made Guitar Hero II sessions virtually unplayable at this point, so, after discussing the Guitar Hero on PS3 problem and getting some bad news (it won't ever be playable), I stormed off to find corndogs. We ran into the Genji producer we made to suffer during a Justify Your Game segment and apologized profusely for putting him on the spot like that. Then we all laughed and froze in place, allowing the credits to roll.

Okay, that last bit didn't happen, but the night was definitely winding down. We momentarily got excited when Ricky Schroeder walked by. This was a bad sign. Then Ari's assistant Lloyd (real name unknown) from Entourage emerged from the Blu-Ray tent and I became inappropriately speechless.

I check my watch.

It was almost 11:45 so we decided to depart to visit the camper queue, waiting for the herd to rush the store. After three days of smelly anticipation, many were going home with a PlayStation 3 within the hour. What will happen?! Michael McWhertor

Thanks to Gay Gamer for pointing out this quote from a magazine we could get no one to anonymously buy for us this week, The Advocate. Christina Aguilera says:

I'm extremely good at videogames. People come over to my house after a night of going out just to try to beat my scores. I have all the top scores.

The hirsute Fruit continues:

Although they don't elaborate on exactly which games she's good at, the article does claim: "Christina Aguilera can also whip your ass at Donkey Kong."

I know what you hets are thinking. "Christina can whip my ass AND my Donkey Kong. LOL!" That was written as Ashcraft, but it's probably similar for the rest of you.

Look, I admit, Christina's new platinum blonde bombshell look is certainly groinally compelling. But might I remind all you guys that as early as last year, her preferred look was that of a syphilitic whore? Florian Eckhardt

Christina Aguilera Can Kick Your Butt At Video Games [Gay Gamer]

I spotted Steven Spielberg at E3 on the last day. He was walking out of the Microsoft booth talking to someone from Electronic Arts. The two, with a posse in tow, made there way around the back of the South Hall and then walked through the outdoor food court area, where Spielberg didn't stop for some yummy tacos, and into a back entrance of the West Hall. I stopped following at that point, mostly because his security guards were shooting me nasty looks and looked like they could snap my scrawny backbone between their thumb and forefinger.

Make sure you shoot us your own images of celeb gamers hoofing it through E306. You know, we're obsessed with the rich, famous and beautiful.. But not in that order.