Kotaku: cd-i

Mario Says: "All Toasters Toast Toast."

kotaku.com — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 10:40:19 MDT

Indeed. And you know what else they say, Mario? "All CDi Ninendo games suck dick." Florian Eckhardt

Phillips CD-i Presents... Mutant Rampage: Body Slam Intro

brownlee — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 08:40:59 MDT

The Phillips CD-i is a console best known for outsourcing its animation to a Vietnamese Animation Workshop / Veteran's Home for Amputees. But these guys didn't just take a crayon in mouth to animate the intros to the lousy Zelda and Mario CD-i games... they did intros for other, less well known games. And the intro to Mutant Rampage: Body Slam? A masterpiece from the moment the bird baby attacks the delivery room doctor.

Unfortunately, the sublimity of the experience is somewhat sullied by the knowledge that as soon as the exotic cat mutant shows up on screen, there's a furry out there who has already dropped his shorts around his ankles. Florian Eckhardt

Mario Says Don't Misplace the CD-i Booklet!

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 01:22:40 MDT

Hotel Mario was a puzzle game for Philip's ill-fated CD-i machine. The game was squirted out after Philip's duped Nintendo into forking over rights to its characters and subsequently developed without Nintendo's support. Stand out game dialogue: Mario saying "If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the inclosed instruction book." That's fancy talk for hang on to that instruction book, punk. Brian Ashcraft

Thanks, Fett

The 3D-I Travesty That Never Was: Super Mario Wacky Worlds

brownlee — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 15:40:39 MDT

Let's face it: watching those Zelda CD-i movies was disturbing, like going home in a moment of weakness with the belching sow at your local pub. So sometimes it's hard to believe that the Phillips CD-i actually had a lot of potential... potential that was largely squandered. And even harder to believe that some decent CD-i takes on Nintendo properties were nearly realities.

Press the Buttons has a look at one such title, Super Mario Wacky Worlds, which was undertaken as a direct spiritual sequel to Super Mario World. The game looks as if it had a lot of potential, but unfortunately never got off the ground. Apparently, the CD-i was never meant to do sprite based platformers and a great degree of technical ingenuity went into tricking the hardware into doing it.

One weird revelation about Super Mario Wacky Worlds that took us back was that one of the programmers was Silas Warner... as in, the guy who created Wolfenstein! And here's an even weirder revelation, from Silas' Wikipedia page: "Former coworkers state that he was a prototypical "geek" in the best sense of that word: smart, inventive, and totally uninterested in conforming. He was a very large man, 6'9" and over 300lbs. Legend has it that he would typically program while wearing only his underwear, even in the office."

A three hundred pound man dressed only in his underpants hammering out the code to the CD-i adventures of one of gaming's most beloved characters. Talk about a recipe for success!

Whatever Happened To Super Mario Wacky Worlds? [Press the Buttons]

Two Horrible, Horrible Zelda Beginnings

brownlee — Fri, 24 Mar 2006 11:40:41 MST

Earlier today, we showed you the endings to two of Link's more execrable adventures: Wand of Gamelon and Faces of Evil on the Phillips CD-i. With a luscious pout and animation produced in the animation workshop of a south California Down's Syndrome Community Center, Link was instantly transformed from noble hero of Hyrule to some fruity wizard's gay boy toy with a penchant for surfer speak.

You laughed, you cried, you wanted more. Well, far be it for Kotaku to disappoint... that's why we keep the bar here low. Now, we proudly presents the beginnings of Wand of Gamelon and Faces of Evil.

Faces of Evil is after the jump.

Hey, Zelda! How about a fuck? For luck!

Two Horrible, Horrible Zelda Endings

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 24 Mar 2006 08:22:41 MST

In 1991, Philips releases the CD-i (Compact Disc Interactive), a $400 multi-media CD player. While a good chunk of the games were educational, there was a smattering of video games. Several of these games were even Nintendo spin-offs. Philips had signed a deal to co-develop a CD-ROM for the Super NES. The deal fell through, but Philips was contractually allowed to use Nintendo characters and put out three Zelda titles, including Link: The Faces of Evil, Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon and Zelda's Adventure. These were not developed by the big N. And, boy, does it show. Above is the bad, bad ending for The Faces of Evil. Watch the ending for The Wand of Gamelon after the jump and try not to gouge your eyes out.

CD-i [Wiki] Thanks, Alan!