According to Toronto's Globe and Mail, Andrew Kane, 16, "nonchalantly" asked his mom and dad if they would drive him to a motel where he would meet up with a woman who'd flown up from Texas to meet him. They weren't too keen on that idea. So he went back upstairs to tell the woman - a mother of two - he couldn't make the date. Mom and dad went back to check on him - at 2 a.m. - and lo and behold he was gone.

Kane was missing for two days. The Globe and Mail, drolly identifiying Kane and Lauri Price, 42, as "the couple" were found Thursday in a store in a nearby town. Ms. Price said whoa-whoa-whoa he told me he was 20, but it doesn't matter, 16 is the age of consent up in Canada anyway, so she's not gonna face charges.

The Globe and Mail has all of the creepy-creepy, as can only be supplied by two delusional lovebirds, one of whom got her college degree before the other was born. Obligatory game addiction mention, too.

Teen Found After Meeting his 42-year-old Online 'Soulmate' [The Globe and Mail, Toronto]

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THQ's Montreal Studio, planned to open in 2010, will represent the company's largest development facility, with a focus on developing core titles and supporting its global studio system with other projects. Heading up the new studio will be Dave Gatchel, the former general manager of THQ's Paradigm Entertainment studio, which was shuttered late last year along with several other development facilities.

Montreal once again proves it has the incentive and support system in place to lure in the major game studios.

"Montreal's outstanding pool of creative digital media talent and its highly regarded university system makes this the ideal location to support our future product and technology development needs," said Steve DeCosta, THQ senior vice president, THQ Core Games, Operations and Finance. "Moreover, government support, in the form of reimbursable tax credits and other incentives, enabled Montreal to stand out as the best combination of creative talent and favorable economics of the cities we evaluated for our new studio."

Expect the first games out of THQ Montreal sometime in fiscal year 2013.

In all, you get a 360 Elite, two controllers and copies of both Halo 3 and Halo 3: ODST, all for CAD$400 (USD$380).

It should be on sale right now, so if you're interested in the 360 and somehow missed Halo, why not. At the very least, you'll be supporting the idea of consoles coming with two controllers.

Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Dyack touted Ontario as a potential global leader in the games sector once the economy recovers, and rather pointedly mentioned the rarity of his own studio's lifespan and that it makes him a well-positioned survivor amidst the bloodbath. Said Dyack:

It's been really a rough year and a half for the industry as a whole. The number of layoffs in the industry has been staggering. As an external developer it's been tough. I actually don't know anyone who's older than us any more. There used to be four or five people I knew of but I feel right now that we're one of the last of the V8s. I've talked to a lot of people and I know a lot of people who have gone out of business.

Further:

What that means for us is we're really excited because we're going to be able to come out, and the industry is going to rebound and grow, and we'll be one of probably five companies in the world that has any serious business beyond ten years.

"Serious business beyond 10 years"? Is he talking about the development of Too Human?

Dyack: Developer Layoffs and Closures have been "Staggering" [GamesIndustry.biz]

Funcom's new Canadian headquarters will be put to use immediately, with skilled teams being formed to work on both Age of Conan and the upcoming MMO The Secret World, which the company will be showing off at PAX 09 this weekend. The Montreal location further extends Funcom's global presence, joining previously established offices in Norway, China, the U.S., and Switzerland.

Funcom CEO Trond Arne Aas sings the praises of our neighbors to the North.

"Montréal has established itself as one of the world's most important locations for video game production, and we are looking forward to taking part in that success. In addition to strengthening our North American presence, the new studio will take advantage of the great incentive programs offered by the Québec region, incentives that makes Montréal one of the most cost effective locations in the world for developing MMO games. This will in turn allow us to better balance our costs, making it possible for us to continue to expand our investments into the MMO segment."

We may kid our Canadian brethren from time to time, but one thing's for sure: they sure know how to woo game developers.

It's not a new practice, we know; this kind of scam has been running for decades. But using Square Enix's name? How odd! You have to wonder whether the scammers are picking company names at random, because I can't imagine Jim Truckson from Cornhole, Idaho opening his mailbox and knowing what the hell a "Square Enix" even is.

In case you don't understand the video, Pure Pwnage is coming to Canada's Showcase cable channel in 2010, with eight full episodes worth of socially inept Jeremy's antics beaming directly into the televisions of our neighbors to the North. To put this into perspective, Showcase shows reruns of House. Pure Pwnage is going to be airing on the same channel that airs reruns of House. The world is a strange and wonderful place, isn't it?

Writing for Toronto's Globe & Mail on Saturday, Marcus Gee rips Ontario's government as trying to be more hip than responsible, facing down an $18.5 billion deficit. Toronto's subsidy to Ubi may be meant to consolidate the area's position as "the third largest television, film and digital-media cluster in North America," he says, but the studio already turns a $111 million profit. And they're getting a hand up at the expense of Ontario's dowdier, longer-tenured corporate citizens.

That quarter-billion has to come from somewhere, much of it from good Toronto businesses that don't have the buzz factor to attract an open-collared premier. Their tax burden will rise, and their business will suffer, while the cool kids in the video-game industry collect government cheques.

Gee says developers are notoriously "a footloose bunch," and nothing prevents them from bolting for a better deal should tax or currency conditions change. Then again, Ubisoft has two other studios and 2,000 employees in Canada. I'd say they've shown a strong commitment to the country.

On some level, jobs are jobs, and criticizing (sigh, criticising) a deal bringing in 800 jobs just because they're video game jobs is a smidge unfair. Not every industry that makes up a regional economy is of the indispensable manufacturing variety. That said, another columnist pointed out that the incentives offered Ubisoft translate to $329,000 per job. That's a tough call in tight times.

McGuinty's Playing with the Cool Kids [Toronto Globe and Mail, via GamePolitics]

The announcement comes today by way of a live press conference with the Premiere of Ontario, Dalton McGuinty, held against a backdrop declaring "New Jobs for Ontario". Minister of International Trade and Investment Sandra Pupatello took the stage first, explaining to the audience how large the video game business is, citing the example of Spider-Man, the video game adaptation of the movie that grossed more than the film itself. "This has been a labor of love...over two years in the making." Apparently they've wanted Ubisoft for quite some time.

Next came the Premiere himself, talking about gaming stats. 75% of Ontario residents play video games. "Video games. This isn't kid's stuff; and this isn't child's play. This is serious business." The government has been trying to land a partnership with Ubisoft, and now Ontario will be investing $260 million dollars as part of a partnership with Ubisoft to develop a major game studio in Toronto, creating more than 800 jobs in the process. "This is a truly exciting opportunity for Ontario."

Ubisoft Montreal CEO Yannis Mallat took the podium next, after it was revealed that he will become the CEO of Ubisoft Toronto. He explains that the new studio will focus on creating and developing triple-A video games, creating more than 800 jobs over the course of the next 10 years.

He detailed the four main pillars of the new Toronto Studio: the support of the government; Toronto's growing pool of gaming and film industry talent; the groundwork laid down by all of Ubisoft's other studios around the world allowing the new studio to make an immediate impact; and Toronto's thriving cultural scene. It's the same strategy they used to establish Ubisoft Montreal.

The new studio joins Ubisoft's 2 previous Canadian studios on Quebec City and Montreal Quebec, which boast a staff of more than 2,000 employees between them. With 800 new positions in the works, Ubisoft's Canada presence will be legion.

A truck carrying over 1,300 Xbox 360 consoles was stolen from a trailer yard at 4 AM. The total value ballparks at around US$670,000.

According to police, four or five suspects in dark clothing stole a black 16-metre 2007 Air-Ride trailer, with the Ontario licence plate C11-47X and trailer identification number 55334.

The suspects attacked a security guard who had his hands and feet bound together and was left under a parked trailer. The security guard is expected to make a full recovery.

1,300 Xbox gaming consoles stolen in Mississauga [The Star Thanks, Spot778!]

Now available at the EB Games and GameStop locations that have yet to be ravaged by the ongoing conflict, PlayStation Canada will be venturing out into the wilds to deliver them to Best Buy, Future Shop, HMV, The Source, and Rogers Plus stores in the coming weeks and months, so there should be a healthy supply by the time the next round of baby spiders burrow out of their human hosts.

The cards come in $20 and $50 increments, and if you Canadians need any help figuring out what to purchase with them, Sony Canada's Kyle Moffatt has listed several excellent suggestions in his post on the PlayStation blog.

PSN Cards Debut in Canada [PlayStation Blog]

The five countries are the ones singled out by the Anti-Piracy Caucus as priorities for 2009, with Congress urging said countries to improve enforcement legislation and practices. How are they urging? Through a series of announcements that I am sure weigh heavily on the hearts and minds of those countries' governments, should they be paying any attention at all.

Still, the Entertainment Software Association seems pleased.

"The copyright-based industries will be leaders in our economic recovery – and the entertainment software industry, which had record sales in 2008, will continue to be a strong contributor to our nation's GDP," said Michael D. Gallagher, CEO of the ESA, which represents U.S. computer and video game publishers. "Exports can comprise as much as 30% of our members' sales, and are a direct contributor to domestic job growth. The work of the Caucus helps us to grow our export markets, create jobs and strengthen our balance of trade. Additionally, stemming the flood of pirated creative works benefits and protects legitimate consumers everywhere.

The ESA specifically thanked the Congressional International Anti-Piracy Caucus for singling out Mexico and Canada, from which many mod-chips flow into the U.S., and Spain, where peer-to-peer piracy is running rampant.

Canada was also added to the U.S. Trade Representative's priority watch list this year. If they keep it up, we'll have no choice but to invade.

The ESA applauds the United States Trade Representative's decision to add Canada to "the list", citing the numerous times the game industry has plead with the country to strengthen their laws, only to have said pleas fall on deaf ears. With the mod chips still flowing like wine from the Canadian border into the states, the U.S. government had no choice but to write the name of the country down next to some other countries. You hear that, Canada? We're watching you.

"Putting Canada on the ‘Priority Watch List' is a signal of the Obama Administration's commitment to strengthening global intellectual property protection, and its intent to address this issue firmly with the Canadian government," said Michael D. Gallagher, CEO of the ESA "Canada's weak laws and enforcement practices foster game piracy in the Canadian market and pave the way for unlawful imports into the U.S."

Canada joins China, Russia, India, Thailand, and seven other countries on the U.S.'s no doubt highly-effective Priority Watch List, which I'm certain they will be taken off of as soon as they show marked improvement in keeping their country piracy free.

"Canada contributes significantly to the development of today's leading games — creating thousands of high-paying jobs along the way. We are eager to see Canada become a full partner in protecting these products on the way to market," Gallagher noted.

Canada never really stuck me as the sort of country that needed a stern warning. If anything, it seems like a nice place to kick back and relax. Go figure.

New legislation in Quebec now prohibits the sale of English-only video games if a French version is available. The store cannot carry only the English language version if a French version is available.

The catch traditionally has been for Quebec is that game publishers typically release French versions for PAL consoles and not North American ones — hence, loads of English games in Quebec.

Montreal game retailer Ronnie Rondeau, "I'm afraid it's going to cost me my business. If it really was going to make a difference, I'd be for it, but only a small number of people want to play in French. The rest don't care."

For example, when Rock Band was first released in Canada, it was English-only. With Christmas around the corner, the game was snapped up by French-speaking Canadians. You know what? There are French Canadian gamers who don't care if games are in English or even Japanese, for that matter. They just want to play video games.

Making legislation to control what language French Canadians play their games in seems rather draconian.

Update: While the Star article makes it seem as though this is banning video English language video games, the new law does not prohibit the sale of English-only video games. Rather, it asks of the publisher to make a french version available if and when it exists, which means Quebec's gamers will still be able to purchase the English version and do so at the same time as everyone else in the world.

New Quebec law turns Lara Croft into francophone [The Star via GamePolitics via VG247] [Pic]

Mohamed Zeki Mahjoub is an Egyptian who got political asylum in Canada, then was imprisoned as a terror suspect for his close ties to Osama bin Laden's business, and other unsavory folks. After six-and-a-half years in "Guantanamo North," he got his release, but a judge imposed some strict requirements on him, still finding him to be a risk to Canadian national security.

Among them - no Internet access. Since the Wii has a connection and a browser onboard, bye-bye Mario Kart! The authorities confiscated the console (and, I guess, the games, because if you can build Smash Bros. Brawl levels to propose marriage, you can probably use them to send terroristic threats and stuff.)

Mahjoub says that, along with other onerous conditions of his release, have destroyed his family life, so he's asked to be returned to the prison Canada set up in Ottawa to house terror suspects. Hell, if the gummint pried my Internet and my games from my warm, living hands, I'd probably see no difference between prison and sitting on my ass at home, either.

Oh, in case you're wondering, Mahjoub can't be deported because of the potential for being tortured by other governments.

Wanting a Room at Guantanamo North [Toronto Globe and Mail via Nintendo Everything]

This goes back to the row over the mean-ol scary Killzone 2 ads in Toronto (and has its roots in the mean-ol scary Fallout 3 ads in Washington and Grand Theft Auto IV ads in Chicago.) And like the previous two cases, it engenders a completely pointless debate.

For those not in the know, Someone saw a Killzone 2 poster in a city bus stop near a school. A teacher at that school - in a line of reasoning that's pissy even by Canadians' good-government values - emailed Sony Canada asking them to quit scaring the kids, especially in light of its failure to "promote any kind of community renewal or even responsibility." Sony removed the ads, from about 300 bus shelters throughout the city.

That's straight out of the PR playbook: Remove the source of stink immediately. There's something about a pledge not to stick these ads near schools anymore but, really, if Sony's just saying that to get this teacher to be quiet, fine. Who is going to enforce such a pledge anyway?

Well, CNET's Don Reisinger picks up the bit:

Sony has made the pledge to keep violent video game ads away from schools. But developing the proper radius might be difficult, since there are so many schools in most communities, leaving only certain areas available to ads. And then there's the likelihood that ads placed in these areas won't be effective because they won't be viewed by the target demographic. After all, the ads in the bus shelters were placed there for a reason: kids would see them and want the game. While I applaud Sony for taking the ads down over community unrest, I wonder how it plans to implement its advertising-free zones, since a standard distance probably won't work around every school. In fact, I'm not even sure what a fair distance would be. Does Sony know something we don't?

And again we have the assumption that just because children can be found in the same area as adults, all advertising there is exclusively targeted to children. I also like the classification "violent video game ads." Apparently the advertisements of these games are themselves violent and capable of causing harm.

Sony backing down is Sony's business. Its brand is more than video games and well more different than Bethesda's or Rockstar's. Teachers, preachers and politicians go to movies and buy TVs, too. So the answer to this question is really: "Far enough away to keep schoolmarms and neighborhood scolds from bitching at you." It still brings up a poll: How far should violent video game ads be kept from schools? Unsurprisingly, "Put them anywhere" is the runaway leader.

How Far Should Violent Video Game Ads Be Kept Away From Schools? [CNET via Blue's News]

School teacher Davis Mirza is partially responsible for the ads being removed, having emailed Sony Computer Entertainment Canada after seeing shocking images of a "menacing head with glowing eyes" and scenes of war "like Iraq".

"My kids, who come from a lot of different countries, who have to experience violence, who basically come here to seek shelter and safety, that's the stuff they don't need to see," said the Grade 4/5 teacher at Pauline Johnson Junior Public School

Councilor Pam McConnell's office also requested that similar ads be removed from the Regent Park area of Toronto. Rather than deal with more whining, Sony went ahead and pulled all 300 ads from the area yesterday - several days before they were scheduled to come down anyway.

I'm not sure what surprises me the most here. The fact that Sony actually capitulated, or the fact that a school teacher things Helghan looks like Iraq.

Violent video game ads pulled from bus shelters [TheStar.com]

Really. What's more, it's not a download key, not a mail-away deal. The disc - for the PC version - is right there. Inside the bag of cheese.

Get Beyond Good & Evil Free With...Cheese? [Giant Bomb]

The Vancouver based Action Pants Inc., which currently employs more that 110 game developers, is now part of the Ubisoft game developing empire. The studio is currently working on a Wii-exclusive sports title, due out later this year, which the official announcement of the acquisition says will expand upon Ubisoft's recent success with Shaun White's Snowboarding.

"We are very excited about this opportunity, and how it will benefit our studio" stated Simon Andrews, co-founder and executive partner of Action Pants Inc. "Action Pants and Ubisoft share very similar values and we are confident that this synergy will provide all of our staff with new and exciting opportunities, as well as resources that will benefit all of our future products".

I just really hope they don't take that amazing name and change it into Ubisoft Vancouver. Ubisoft Action Pants has a much nicer ring to it. You don't want to stifle that kind of creativity.

NPD pegs Canadian console sales at 1.9 million for the year, with 1.2 million portable gaming machines snapped up by the Canucks. Before we run out of ways to name Canadians other than "Canadians," we'll add that the majority of hardware sold was of the Nintendo brand.

Wii and Nintendo DS sales drove Canada's gaming market in 2008, but it was Rock Band and Grand Theft Auto IV that topped software charts. You crazy Canadians and your buying habits!

Banner year for Canadian video-game sales [CBC]