Kotaku: breasts

Age Of Conan Girls Get Accidental Boob Job

Mike Fahey — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 12:00:00 MDT

As if Age of Conan subscribers didn't have enough to complain about already, now Funcom goes and forces involuntary plastic surgery on them. In a perfect, happy world, no one would have been paying enough attention to their character's animated breasts to notice, but when certain players logged in after the latest patch and broke out the tape measure, they realized their enormous busts had been busted. AOC forum user Gust even went as far as to provide photo evidence, seen above. No need to worry though folks, as Funcom promises things will soon be back to abnormal.

Funcom can confirm that some of the female models in the game have had the size of their breasts changed. This is due to an unintended change in data that was introduced in an earlier patch, data which controls the so-called morph values associated with character models and the size of their respective body parts. We are working on a fix for this and your breasts should be back to normal soon.

Sometimes the world makes me very, very sad.

Botched boob job [Age of Conan Forums - Account Required - Thanks Henry!]

The Physics of Gaming Jubblies

Mike Fahey — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 10:40:32 MST

What better way to kick off a Monday morning than a borderline NSFW video about rendered jubblies? X-Play, one of the tattered remnants of game-related programming on the former TV 4 Gamers network, presents you with the evolution of breast physics in video games. There's no real nudity, but folks at work might think you just a bit more creepy than they already do for watching this.

It's sad that the internet has desensitized me so much that my favorite part of the video is the Midnight Spank deer commercial at the end. It is good to see how far breast physics have come, but when are we going to see realistic junk shifting in games? Michael Fahey

The history of video game breasts [DESTRUCTOID]

Arcade Flyer Art Saturday: Gotcha!

fdemarco — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 14:30:49 MST

Welcome to Arcade Flyer Saturday! Each week we'll take a different arcade flyer from days gone by and look into the rich history of the games and the images used to advertise them.

GOTCHA!
Gotcha! was the third arcade game produced by the Atari company. It debuted in 1973 and was the first of the "labyrinth/maze" genre that would eventually achieve great popularity with games like Pac-Man. The gameplay was less than exciting: The "Pursuer" (a square) chased the "Pursued" (a plus sign) through a constantly changing maze. The chase was accompanied by an annoying beeping sound that got louder and faster as the chaser got closer to the chased. Once the chased player was caught, points would be scored and the whole thing would start over again. Very dull indeed, although the game's flyer described it as having "plenty of psychological twists and turns and free flowing adrenaline" ... uh, yeah.

Probably the most notable thing about this game was it's control system: two large pink rubber mounds that looked very much like breasts. Not surprisingly, it became widely known as "the boob game."

A ruckus was raised over the cheeky controls and a "less suggestive" control system using two joysticks was implemented. I'm not too sure that a joystick is any LESS suggestive than a pair of round pink globes, but then again, it was the seventies.

This has got to be one of my favorites of all the flyer images I have run across. It's so evocative of it's time period with the pink, orange and red color scheme, stylized font and ubiquitous star pattern. I'm a little disturbed about the weird superimposing of the happy couple with the game machine. I suppose it was meant to imply that the fun was coming right out of the game in the form of two carefree people who are just like you. I can't help thinking that the image would have been improved and more appropriate to the game if the guy had just moved his hands up about 8 inches. Flynn De Marco

[Big thanks goes out to Greg for all his help with this series]

DOA 2 Extreme: Absurd Jiggling

brownlee2 — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 08:40:59 MDT

Look, I like slapping a girl on the ass and watching the jiggle effect ripple through every supple ounce of fat on her voluptuous frame as much as the next man. Ask Eliza. With her thick and hirsute upper lip and gastropod body shape , she might as easily be considered Greco-Jabbaesque as she would be "all the more lovin."

But has anyone who works for Team Ninja actually ever seen a girl before? It's not like they come out of Jell-O moulds... a slight breeze does not cause a woman to gelatinously quake from head to toe, no matter how gigantic her breasts. I expect my women not to exhibit the same tactile consistency as a tub of cottage cheese. Florian Eckhardt

Mammarial Musing: Boobs as Driving Force in Games Development

egauger — Thu, 25 May 2006 13:53:31 MDT

Club Skill has an excellent retrospective on the role of breasts in the history of video games. The article is crammed with illustrative screenshots and amusing factoids; apparently, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is the first game to have each breast assigned its own set of physics. Someone's been researching long into the night.

That said, the article is remarkably cleancut and quizzical, with nary a whiff of fanboyish slavering. Especially entertaining is the anecdote about Dead or Alive being named such because it was Tecmo's last ditch effort to save itself, which it did through the power of jiggle physics. And there's more bizarre stuff as well:

When talking about Mortal Kombat and breast physics, this only applies to the recent titles that in the series. This includes Deadly Alliance, Deception, and the upcoming Armageddon. The breast physics in this game seem a bit odd. Probably the best way to describe it is that it moves like very stiff jello. The games even went as far as to add bruising and bleeding. Sometimes matches would end in a pair of bloody breasts.

Eliza Gauger

Boob Physics [Club Skill]