Continuous punching, weaving and haymakers all have higher endurance cost, spamming your block ruins your ability to perform a perfect block, and no nutshots can be thrown if one user is in a stun state, both eliminating cheap knockdowns (and cheaper recoveries).

You can see the full list at the end of this video. The patch (free) and the DLC (800 Microsoft points/$9.99) are out in early December.

Furthermore, the game's suggested retail price drops another $10, to $39.99, just in time for the holiday retail season.

The DLC pack will release "early December," nothing more specific, and will be $9.99 on PlayStation Network, 800 points over Xbox Live.

New Fight Night Round 4 DLC and Price Cut Announced [IGN via VG247]

EA Sports announced two upcoming free releases of downloadable content for Fight Night Round 4 today. The first, slated for early August, will add a new gym, "new gameplay sliders" and new equipment plus an alternate version of Sugar Ray Leonard exclusive to the Xbox 360 version.

An early September release may be even more well-received as it will offer face-button control for all of Fight Night's punched. That update, for PS3 and Xbox 360 will be free.

The announcements follow the June 23 release of Fight Night Round 4, which won praise for its graphics and gameplay but took knocks — see comments here — for forcing players to only use the tilts and arcs of a controllers' right stick to throw punches and not offer a button-press option, as had been made available for Fight Night Round 3. (A DLC option was recently rumored.)

"We strongly believe that the refined Total Punch Control is the most intuitive way to throw punches in Fight Night Round 4," the game's senior producer, Dean Richards, said in a press release, "But we also want fans of the franchise to have an option."

EA sent Kotaku further information about the "new gameplay sliders" being offered in August. Those sliders will allow gamers to "tun and tweak the following attributes: Counter Punch Window, Boxer Stamina, Punch Accuracy."

Looks like EA is addressing much of the feedback from gamers. And promptly.

MMA is hot and WWE never quite fades away. Boxing eternally hangs from a cliff.

Since the 1970s, each decade of boxing disappointment has been followed by a decade when those of us who can still name a single active heavyweight realize that the previous decade wasn't so bad. The 90s of boxing? I miss them. Boxing never seems to improve, except in my memories.

Those of us who enjoy the sport can at least celebrate this spring of 2009 and its video game boxing renaissance, which has brought us back Punch-Out on the Wii and Fight Night on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. Punch-Out's a fun puzzle game — identify and memorize the pattern to knock Bald Bull out. Fight Night aspires to be what boxing should be these days. It gets close when its controls don't deeply bend one of gaming's cardinal rules.

Loved
The Sport In Full: Ring walks. Round card girls. Choices of trunks. Previous Fight Nights had those too. Lots of fighters, including Ali, Tyson, Robinson (no de la Hoya and Holyfield), can get in the ring. Added to that — and new to Fight Night Round 4 — is a Legacy Mode that lets the player bring an amateur fighter to pro superstardom, one match at a time. The difficulty ramps up uncomfortably early, and the training mini-games between fights are too hard for a novice fighter whose foot speed and power-punching stats are not yet leveled up. But the climb is exciting and just vague enough in detail to let the gamer's imagination build a narrative better than Stallone's first Rocky. There are unexpected challengers, rematches, far-flung venues, annual achievement awards and a novel's worth of a fighting career determined one punch and one drop of blood at a time. (UPDATE: Judging by feedback in the comments I did not sufficiently distinguish how Round 4's career mode differs from that of Round 3. The new one includes multiple championships, the ability to unify belts, defend the title, move weight classes, all to increase one's reputation in order to be named The Greatest of All Time. Different tiers, from Club Fighter to Contender to Greatest have different criteria for players to achieve, including measures of fame and winning percentage. It's modeled off of a realistic career, compared to Round 3's series of challenges.)

Brutal Beauty: No greater compliment may be offered a game's graphics than to say that this game would be playable without its heads-up display (HUD). I tried one fight that way and I could see enough of the expressions of pain and fatigue on my fighter's and his opponent's faces to know how the match was going. Round 4's new physics-based damage system, which makes flush punches more hurtful than glancing blows, can be read by one's eyes without needing to see a health meter. It's all there in virtual-physical form.

Subtlety: A ha! This is what I like about boxing. Fights are seldom determined by one punch. They are determined by the accretion of jabs and hooks painted on an opponent round after round. Head movement and footwork are keys to victory. The game is a little too in love with making the player look for counter-punching opportunities, but even just a steady jab investment pays dividends, as it should. Leveling up offense and defensive stats like body-resilience or punch-accuracy shows small but significant results each time. Boxing's loudest moments follow many quieter accomplishments that the casual observer may not appreciate. They're in here.

Swift Online: I played the PS3 and Xbox 360 versions and went online with the latter. Matchmaking was swift and the fights were fun. I was disappointed that player's boxer attribute stats are leveled, as it doesn't seem to enable me to bring a fighter who is, say, biased toward power and not speed to match up against a fighter aligned the other way. Nevertheless, integrating fights into an online quest to be the champion of the game's three online weight divisions is a smart move. I'll never be champ, but it's fun to know I have a shot.

Hated
Interference: The core of Fight Night Round 4, the boxing, is a smoothly-played delight. But this game's Legacy mode is larded with extra menus and simulation options that slow one's advance from fight to training and back to fight. Then, during the fights, commentators Teddy Atlas and Joe Tessitore devolve into the worst of boxing announcers by repeatedly calling every round they see the best round of their life. What salvages the commentary is the interesting decision to have the two men criticize the state of real boxing. They discuss the proliferation of world titles and weight classes. They lament the shallow talent pool of new fighters. They even lobby for basketball players to become boxers. But all of that and even Atlas' goofy asides — like his comparison of my great fight to the first time he hard Ray Charles sing God Bless America — couldn't keep me from shutting these guys off.

Strict Controls: EA is so fervently behind Fight Night's right-stick punch system that it didn't deliver an option to map punches to controller face buttons this time. The right-stick technique is conceptually sound. Tilt in the direction of a left or right jab. Hook in the direction of a left or right hook. Pull back and arc in the direction of a left or right uppercut. What could be better? The problem is that many of us can't execute those controls reliably, myself included. My view is that game controls should be invisible and intangible. We should forget them and achieve a oneness with what's on the screen: I think an action; I believe I've done it; It happens. With Fight Night Round 4, sadly, what I think will be an uppercut winds up being a hook half the time. Perhaps I will continue to improve, but it's disappointing that EA did not offer a control scheme that lets me do what I want to do. Why not let the game learn what I think is a hook and map that move to my fighter's hook? Why force me to only use EA's pre-defined arcs? It's a narrow option that has led me to question whether I'm failing at the game or whether the game is failing at me. I'd rather focus on boxing than the controls, but players be warned: if you stink at these controls, you're in big trouble.

Fight Night Round 4 presents boxing at its most beautiful, a sport that looks great, is exciting, is full of talent and devoid of corruption.

The game falters in narrowing its audience to only those who can handle its tricky controls. But those who can manage are in for an experience about which there is little else to complain.

Fight Night Round 4 was developed and published by Electronic Arts for the PS3 and Xbox 360 on June 25. Retails for $59.99 USD. Played two brief, faltering careers on the PS3, switched to the tighter analog stick of the Xbox 360 and have had a rocky 13-6-0 middleweight career with 12 KOs on the Xbox 360. Played several matches online. Used to work for Bert Sugar (in real life). Was once prank phone-called by Michael Moorer (also in real life).

Confused by our reviews? Read our review FAQ.

It's part sweepstakes, part instant win game as Pizza Hut signs on with EA to promote the latest entry in their boxing franchise, due out June 30th for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. Players can enter the sweepstakes once per day for a chance to win a trip for two to Las Vegas to watch a championship fight in person, so you can compare the real thing to the fake thing. Perhaps of greater interest to our readers, however, is the instant win portion of the contest, where they'll be giving away 10 limited-edition Fight Night 4 Xbox 360 consoles, and 200 copies of the 360 version of the game.

Entering the sweepstakes takes you to the instant win game, where you must click on a punching bag to see if you win. I didn't, which means the chances that you will just got that much better. Good luck!

Update: EA Sports passed along a couple of pictures of the consoles for us, and damn if they don't look worth entering a contest for.

Rumble in the Ring Sweepstakes [Pizza Hut]

Note that the board can only be used in the game's single-player mode. A case of Nintendo fearing the prospect of two people boxing on boards side-by-side?

Perhaps not.

A year ago, a Ubisoft producer who was showing me Shaun White Snowboarding for the Wii told me that the Balance Board's signals are interpreted by the Wii as two Wii remotes. If that's still the case, then a single player using Punch-Out with a Wii controller and board would already be using three slots — not enough slots for the other player to have the same controls set-up.

That will keep your household furniture a little bit more safe.

Punch-Out is out from Nintendo next week.

What Is It?
Fight Night is the leading boxing series on consoles. It has been since Fight Night replaced EA's own Knockout Kings series. It comes out on June 30, about six weeks after Nintendo's Wii revamp of Punch-Out. Fight Night's last development studio, EA Chicago, was shuttered after Fight Night Round 3, making the new game the first in the series from EA Vancouver. EA is pushing a legends angle, with a vintage Muhammad Ali and a prime Mike Tyson facing off on the cover of the game and in its virtual ring.

What We Saw
About a month ago, EA provided your formerly MTV-employed previewer with a PS3 build of the game. Only coverage of the game's basic single-fight mode would be allowed. The game's single-player campaign, its Legacy mode, would be off-limits. I played the game several times against Fight Night super-fan and MTV News correspondent Tim Kash. I also played bouts against the computer, facing vintage 70s George Foreman against Lennox Lewis in one memorable barnburner.

You should know, preview readers, that I didn't play a lot of the previous Fight Night games, but I am a big boxing fan. I used to be the managing editor for Boxing Digest magazine, throughout college. I prefer my boxing to be more realistic than Rocky.

How Far Along Is It?
The game is six weeks from release, so the build I was given was quite far along. The matches played smoothly, with full commentary.

What Needs Improvement?
Quiet, Please: The core boxing in Fight Night Round 4 is very good. It looks good. It feels good to control. But much of that is sullied when the announcers are talking about punches that happened seconds ago — which in boxing terms is a lifetime ago. Like real announcers, they'd best be served to let the action speak for itself sometimes. Otherwise, they're prone to falling out of step and becoming an annoyance. (The quality of the color commentary from Teddy Atlas, it should be noted, is quite strong and will teach a lot of non-boxing fans plenty about the sport.)

The Wrong Winner: Tim and I repeatedly experienced a surprising turn of events. One of us would have the decisive advantage in a fight, but suddenly the match would be stopped and the other fighter declared the victor. The reason? The loser had started bleeding from a punch. I e-mailed EA about this, weeks ago, so they know about it. My hope is either that players will be able to change the game's tolerance for blood or that, as in real boxing, that the referee would break the action, give a doctor a chance to look at the cut… anything to warn us that a little bleeding is about to bring the fight to an end. Then we'd go for the KO, a la James Toney against Tim Littles in 1994.

What Should Stay The Same?
The Bodies: Finally, Fight Night has fighters who are shaped like they are in real life. It works. Muhammad Ali's longer reach allowed me to use him to keep Mike Tyson at bay. Foreman is giant. Thomas Hearns is lanky as a stringbean. Some of the guys with shorter arms are great inside fighters. Whether this is all due to programming or just the fact that the visuals encourage me to roleplay the way these guys fight in real life doesn't matter. They are shaped as they are or were in reality, so I make them fight like they would. That opportunity is a thrill for a boxing fan.

The Graphics: Fight Night games have become graphical showpieces. This one's no different. Watch the trailers for yourself. No game this year turned heads in my old MTV office like this one, not Resident Evil 5, not Street Fighter IV.

Revised Controls: I was never that good with the old Fight Night controls, which required more elaborate arcs of the right thumbstick to swing hooks and uppercuts. The arcs have been simplified with nearly straight flicks of the stick allowing for my go-to hooks.

Proper Contact: One of the new gimmicks for Fight Night Round 4 is that the physics system now allows for punches to realistically hit any part of the opposing fighter — and for your target's body to react accordingly. The new collision detection also allows fighters to stand closer together, instead of being buffered by an invisible barrier. Not being a Fight Night fanatic, I can't assess how much of an improvement this is. But judging by my taste for realistic boxing, I can say that the results look like real fighting to me. There was very little Rocky about the contact I saw. Instead there was more of the subtlety of movement that excites fans like me.

Final Thoughts
I never got hooked on any previous "realistic" boxing games because they always felt just too removed from the sport itself. Baseball games have come to be video-perfect simulations of the real thing. Basketball games look like telecasts. But boxing games had looked to me like cartoon versions of the sweet science, with absurd knockdowns and zombie fighters. Fight Night Round 4 looks like it might cross my boxing uncanny valley.

Let's just hope that our fights aren't stopped too soon and that this still-secret Legacy single-player mode makes EA Sport's latest effort something more than a multiplayer delight.

How many boxers can you name in the latest roster reveal for Fight Night Round 4? I can make out Hatton, Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao from the Philippines, and that's about it. Still, despite not knowing who these men are is counterbalanced by the amazingly realistic look of these nameless men who prepare to be pummeled for your amusement. I'm actually beginning to get a little excited about the game. I imagine that genuine boxing fans who didn't have to look up names in Wikipedia must be ecstatic.

It's really quite amazing to see the different techniques and styles used by competitors in a game that can be simply described as hit the other guy until he falls down. For those of you who'd rather not get into the specifics of technique, there are plenty of guys getting punched in the face in slow motion as well, so everybody wins.

One floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee; the other bites your damned ear right off. Seems fans voting at AliorTyson.com couldn't decide, so EA decided to use both athletes for the cover to Fight Night Round 4. Both boxers appear in the game, with the inclusion of Tyson marking his first video game appearance in nearly a decade.

"I'm honored to be on the cover of Fight Night Round 4 with Ali. He was a special champ, and I have the highest respect for him as a person and a fighter," said Tyson. "People always ask me if I think I would have beaten Ali if I had the chance to fight him when we were both in our prime. Now you can figure it out for yourselves. Fight Night puts you right in that ring and gives you the gloves to settle the score."

I'm of the opinion that Tyson has no business sharing the cover of anything with a true legend like Ali, and I'm not afraid to say it right to his face...over the internet, where he doesn't know where to find me.

Fight Night Round 4 is due out this summer on the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.

"FaceBreaker reinvigorates one of the great genres in sports videogames. Arcade boxing takes me back to my roots in this industry, and this game signals our shift to adding more approachable fun to our product lineup. In no time at all, you'll be picking up the controllers and knocking your opponent around the ring, smashing faces, and having a riot."

REDISCOVER THE JOY OF PUMMELING WITH FACEBREAKER

An All-New Intellectual Property from EA SPORTS Brings Back Arcade Boxing
Chertset, UK - January 31, 2008 - Electronic Arts Inc. (Nasdaq: ERTS) announced today that FaceBreaker™ - an all-new intellectual property - is under development at EA Canada and will be released for the PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system, Xbox 360™ video game system from Microsoft and the Wii™ in 2008.

"We're very excited to announce FaceBreaker, an all-new franchise from EA SPORTS that is fun, fresh and innovative," said Peter Moore, president, EA SPORTS. "FaceBreaker reinvigorates one of the great genres in sports videogames. Arcade boxing takes me back to my roots in this industry, and this game signals our shift to adding more approachable fun to our product lineup. In no time at all, you'll be picking up the controllers and knocking your opponent around the ring, smashing faces, and having a riot."

The renaissance of the arcade boxing genre is upon us. Created by the same team that developed the award-winning Fight Night Round 3, FaceBreaker offers irreverent fun, immersive gameplay and eye-popping stylized graphics. In this in-your-face, arcade world full of ego-wielding characters, each boxer comes to life with unique attributes and distinct personal style, including Romeo, a Latin lover known for his pelvic thrusts, and Molotov, an oversized Russian demolitions expert with a penchant for fighting dirty. Add a little personal motivation to your fight by uploading a photo of your face to create a realistic likeness using Photo Game Face, and go toe-to-toe with a real-life friend or foe.

Laugh out loud as you pummel your opponent with a barrage of blows to the face and watch in satisfaction as your progress is illustrated by real-time facial deformation. With haymakers, face shots and body blows, wait for the right moment to drop a super punch to make your presence known. Taunt your adversaries and flaunt your talent, by tying one hand behind your back to add ultimate humiliation to your bout. In FaceBreaker, it just feels good to rearrange your opponent's face.

EA SPORTS™ is the leading interactive sports software brand in the world, with top-selling titles and franchises including Madden NFL Football, FIFA Soccer, NHL® hockey, NBA LIVE basketball, NCAA® Football, Tiger Woods PGA TOUR® and NASCAR® racing.

###

"In all my years working in professional boxing, I have never seen anything come as close to recreating the thrill, the intensity, the courage and the spectacle of the sport," said legendary boxing promoter Don King. "Don King Presents: Prizefighter is more than a game — it is a glimpse at what life is like in and out of the ring for these incredible athletes."

2K Sports Announces Don King Presents: Prizefighter

Don King Presents: Prizefighter brings an innovative feature set and story line to set the standard in boxing video games

NEW YORK—(BUSINESS WIRE)—2K Sports, the sports publishing label of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. (NASDAQ: TTWO), today announced the spring 2008 release of Don King Presents: Prizefighter, the most realistic boxing video game simulation, for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, Nintendo's Wii™ home video game console and Nintendo's DS™ portable system. This in-depth, documentary-style title will provide the deepest, most authentic and entertaining experience ever seen in a boxing video game.

"The combination of real-life fight scenarios, story-driven gameplay and photo-realistic graphics will set this title apart from the competition," said Christoph Hartmann, President of 2K. "Our goal has always been to deliver the most engaging and realistic titles, and Don King Presents: Prizefighter will exceed these expectations. Based on the game's innovative features and high-profile fighters, this title will be a 'must have' for any sports gamer."

"In all my years working in professional boxing, I have never seen anything come as close to recreating the thrill, the intensity, the courage and the spectacle of the sport," said legendary boxing promoter Don King. "Don King Presents: Prizefighter is more than a game — it is a glimpse at what life is like in and out of the ring for these incredible athletes."

Developed by Venom Games, the 2K studio that brought Rocky and Rocky Legends to the Xbox and PlayStation 2, Don King Presents: Prizefighter will bring the realism of live action match-ups and the true tactics of the sweet science together for the first time. More than just a night at the fights - players will be responsible for building a career by overcoming adversity, avoiding temptation, and balancing their commitments to train and promote, all while focusing on the goal of ultimately winning and defending the title belt. The story will be told by a revolutionary sports documentary-style narrative never before seen in a video game.

Don King Presents: Prizefighter will be available in spring 2008 for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, Nintendo's Wii™ home video game console and Nintendo's DS portable system, leveraging the unique hardware features of each platform.

For more information, log onto www.2ksports.com/prizefighter.

XSeed's Wii boxing game Hajime no Ippo, aka Victorious Boxers: Revolution, is set for a release this "autumn" here in North America, Cubed3 reports. The game will have 25 playable characters, cut scenes and a story mode... all wrapped around a chewy center of Wii boxing. Hopefully, a touched up form of the one in Wii Sports that allows my son to inexplicably kick my ass every time we play.

New Boxing Game Coming to US [Cubed3]

I didn't realize how much I missed this series until seeing this press release. The game was completely overshadowed by EA's Fight Night, which of course took a much more realistic turn on the boxing genre. I find it much more pleasing beating up cartoony characters for some reason. Let's hope they get the game going soon, because now would be the perfect time to bring back the "The First Lady" from the second game for another couple of rounds. Michael Fahey

10TACLE STUDIOS gets "Ready 2 Rumble"

New game to be realized for various videogame platforms

Darmstadt (Germany) / Singapore, 2nd March 2007 - With the third iteration of the arcade style satirical boxing game "Ready 2 Rumble" 10TACLE STUDIOS AG supplements their product portfolio with yet another popular international brand. With sales of almost three million copies worldwide the two predecessors are among the most successful games in the boxing genre. Singapore subsidiary 10TACLE STUDIOS Pte Ltd. will be realising the new title together with licensor, The Buffer Partnership and executive producer Stereo Mode. The new version of "Ready 2 Rumble" is to be released for various videogame platforms. The Japanese experts from AKI Corporation, who have established themselves as one of the leading game development studios within the genre, with hits such as "Def Jam" and "WWF Wrestlemania", have been entrusted with the first development.

10TACLE STUDIOS AG anticipates a turnover through distribution of the game of more than 20 million US dollars by 2010.

10TACLE STUDIOS AG CEO Michele Pes explains: "With the release of "Ready 2 Rumble" 10TACLE STUDIOS AG is focusing on one of the major game brands in the market. The family-friendly, humorous realisation of the boxing sport is unique and an ideal supplement to our product portfolio."

"We are very pleased to have experienced development partners like AKI Corporation and the producing team of Stereo Mode on board for the realisation of this project. At the same time, this project underlines the strategic position of 10TACLE STUDIOS Pte Ltd. in the Asian games market as a full-service provider for development, production, funding and distribution," adds Aroon Tan, CEO of 10TACLE STUDIOS Pte. Ltd.

For many years, Michael Buffer, the most famous boxing ring announcer in history, has opened the biggest international boxing events with the phrase "Let's Get Ready to Rumble ". Moreover, "Ready 2 Rumble" stands now for one of the most popular brands in boxing games. In this game, caricatures of numerous celebrities take it to the ring, where they have to prove their fighting spirit in battles of epically hilarious proportions. Excellent animation, action-packed moves and ironic commentary have already made the predecessors top-sellers and provided enduring gaming fun.

Another candidate for the useless peripheral hall of fame, the Wii Boxing Gloves actually transcend my usual criteria of being only useful in one game by being useful in only one fraction of one game. Created with Wii Sports in mind, the fingerless padded gloves feature sleeves on the top that you actually tuck the wiimote and nunchuck into, offering all the functionality of simply duct taping the controllers to your hands with none of the messy skin irritation.

If these were fully padded regulation boxing gloves I could see the need for them, as my girlfriend tends to get hyper-aggressive during a round of Wii Sports Boxing, but since the fingers are exposed she would retain full use of her knuckles and nails, leaving me short $22 on top of being beaten to a bloody, shredded pulp. Michael Fahey

Wii Boxing Glove for Wii Sports gives that Powerglove feeling [Videogamesblogger.com]

By all accounts it sounds like Boll got himself an early Christmas present, and this account in no way changes that. Boll basically got a chance to beat the crap out of people he hates.

I am all alone, in a ring, across from an undefeated amateur boxer from Germany of all places, in Vancouver of all places, about to get punched in the head, of all places, hard and repeatedly. By the end of the first round I couldn't feel my own legs. I could hardly breathe. The guy who was supposed to be my corner man, no joke, got so drunk before the match he passed out and had to be taken home by his 60 year-old father. My "trainer" gave me no advice other than keep moving, keep breathing, and keep your hands up. It was like his first time or something, but apparently he wasn't too worried. Um... hello. The crowd is totally behind Uwe, half because they know him personally and half because they just want to see some blood and a potential serious injury and or tragedy.

I'm not nearly stupid enough to think I could survive, let alone beat, Boll in a boxing match. But if the angry German ever wants to do some fencing, I'm his man. I will hand him his ass, he can even name the weapon. Brian Crecente

MiraJeff is conflicted about ROCKY BALBOA and spills all about his match with Uwe Boll [AICN, via 1Up]

And here's the video of Uwe Boll beating up Richard 'Lowtax' Kyanka. Lowtax should have just used his 'wit' and started making Jeff K. jokes, which — judging from Something Awful's forum community — has the direct effect on the brain of a massive, debilitating concussion. Uwe would have been down for the count by the first hysterical "Number One instead of an Exclamation Point" joke.

To be fair to Lowtax, though: Uwe is a complete cunt. He told everyone that it was this fun PR stunt, then almost put one guy in the hospital. He refused to fight someone with boxing training. He promised training to all the fighters, who never got it. He changed his mind moments before the fight and claimed he was going to try to win by 'knockout'. Check out Lowtax's comments on the fight after the jump. Florian Eckhardt

Okay I am done drinking, and I'd like to post some more info before I forget it:

1) There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience.

Anyway, when Uwe was sparring with the dude, the critic / amateur had to quit sparring because Uwe "was taking it too seriously" and really trying to beat the shit out of the guy. So he just said fuck it and left.

2) Apparently when we were in another room, Uwe declared he was going to beat the crap out of all of us and try to "win by knockout." You know, like kinda the OPPOSITE of "this is all a PR stunt we will have fun my movies don't suck" that he was saying before.

3) Like I mentioned before, Uwe said we would get training, boxing equipment, and lessons beforehand. None of us received any of this, which didn't quite worry us at the time since he kept saying it was just a PR stunt and he wasn't really going to box for real for serious blah blah blah. NEVER trust a German. Three of the guys didn't even have cups to protect their balls; the only reason I had a cup was because my wife bought me one.

4) The dude after me was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained.

Regardless, I don't regret anything and think it was a real learning experience. For example, I learned Uwe Boll is a lying dickhead who makes shitbag films, and he deserves all the shit he gets from folks on the Internet. I'll write an update about all this when I get back, but I'm trying to put the most major things here so I do not forget them.

OH and the high point of the day was when I met DAVID FUCKING CROSS and hugged him and gave him a "Doom House" DVD. That was fucking awesome and made the whole Uwe Boll fiasco worth it.

And another four of Uwe Boll's critics explode in a supernova of cottage-cheese lflab, including Rich 'Lowtax' Kyanka of Something Awful, whom — the BBC reports — "was punched so hard his whole family died."

Depressing. But not surprising that a trained boxer could beat the ever loving crap out of a gangly group of atrophied dorks. Perhaps the better contest would have been to see who could direct the best video game movie. Somehow, despite the fact that Uwe is as 'trained' a director as a boxer, I imagine that any one of these sunken-chest amateurs could have outclassed House of the Dead, even while limited to an Ed Wood like budget.

You know what, Uwe? I, Florian Eckhardt, challenge you to a fight. Any time, any place. But it's not going to be one of your little sissy matches. It's Dublin street rules, baby. If you're not familiar with them, the fight starts with me swinging a drained pint glass as hard as I can into the side of your face. It ends with me pushing my thumbs through your eyes until I get squidges of brain underneath my fingernails. Although I suspect in your case, upon puncturing your retinas, I'd find my thumbs twiddling in a not-too-surprising vacuum concavity of skull. Florian Eckhardt

Film-maker knocks out his critics [BBC]