Kotaku: bleh

Pirates Of The Caribbean Online Explores Body Mods

Mike Fahey — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:40:04 MST

Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean online is the best Disney pirate movie-themed, free to play MMO in the world, and come February 2008 they plan on luring in another 5 or 6 customers with all new character customization options to make your relatively crappy pirate avatar different from other relatively crappy pirate avatars! Tattoos and piercings join the character customization system, allowing players young and old to live out their deviant lifestyle online with friends without having to take a needle to their bodies. Joining these two new options are more clothing, new hairstyles, and much, much more. Along with the February character creation update, Disney's also plans to introduce news quests, new challenges, and ship customization later in the year. Head over to www.PiratesOnline.com to experience the freedom of being a ghetto pirate.

New Content For Pirates Of The Caribbean Online Coming In February
Just after the launch of Pirates of the Caribbean Online, Disney Online has already announced new content that will give players the opportunity to give their customized Pirate avatars a whole new look!

In Pirates of the Caribbean Online, players create and customize their own pirate choosing from over a million combinations - from gender, body type, face, and hair, to clothing and names. Adding to the already extensive character creation system, Disney Online will introduce new customization options in February. Just a few of these include:

- Clothing: New pants, hats, coats, and more
- New hairstyles
- Tattoos
- Jewelry: Including earrings, nose rings, necklaces and more

In addition to new character customization features, Disney Online has additional content planned for 2008 including expanding ship customization, extending quest story lines, and adding more enemies and challenges.

Pirates of the Caribbean Online, developed and published by Disney Online, is rated E10+ and features lower PC and Mac system requirements than most other games in this genre, allowing for easier access to a broader audience of players.

Players can download the game directly and access additional information at the game's Web site, www.PiratesOnline.com. A portion of the game is available for free and players can get unlimited access for a monthly subscription fee.

Being Napoleon Dynamite

Mike Fahey — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:20:32 MDT

I am not sure I am qualified to deliver a hands-on of Crave's Napoleon Dynamite for the PSP. See, I never 'got' the movie. I tried so hard to find the underlying funny in it, watching it ten times in various mixes of company hoping to discover the secret recipe that would concoct hilarity in my soul, but alas...it just never happened. I wanted it to happen, I really did. The only strong feeling I came away from the movie with was how nasty eating tater tots out of someone else's pocket would be. So I just don't get it, but when Crave sits you down at E3 and places a PSP in your hands it is hardly a time to say no thanks, so I soldiered on nonetheless. Just keep in mind as you read this, ND fans, that I am not one of you, though I love you just the same as if you were normal children.

Basically Napoleon Dynamite for the DS is a collection of ND-themed mini-games. There seemed to be plenty of choices to make on the screen I was presented with, and I poked around a bit before being guided back to one specifically. The game is a really early build, so one only a few were actually functioning, one of which was a dance game.

A bizarre Napoleon paper doll figure with an extra large head took his place atop a stage as some generic music began to play. The music very well could have been a placeholder, and really in this sort of crazy madcap dance-rhythm mini-game it comes second to the gameplay. The gameplay, unfortunately, was pretty basic. Various symbols representing arrows and buttons scroll across the screen and you have to hit them as they pass through a box in the middle to make mutant paper Jon Heder dance. As you succeed you fill up a meter that lets you unleash a super move of some sort, but in a game like this on the small PSP screen you really need to focus on the symbols going by rather than the effects of sais symbols. It left me feeling very bleh.

Maybe it'll be different for big fans of the movie...I mean they did tell me that a liger would definitely be making an appearance, but for me, if the mini-game they decided to showcase is any example, this just seems like a generic collection of mini0games with Napoleon Dynamite pasted on. Paste on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese characters and you have a loving tribute to America's second-favorite broke food. Paste on Batman and you've got...well, the best Batman game ever, but that's beside the point. I may not be a Napoleon Dynamite fan, but I am sure they deserve something more than filler like this.

Clip: Hour of Victory Trailer

Mike Fahey — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:20:44 MDT

Prepare yourself for a World War II game unlike any other...somehow. Possibly.

Probably not.

Midway has released a new trailer for their Xbox 360 game Hour of Victory, and what little footage of the game we see looks every bit as generic as the title.

Probably just me, but I feel like I've even heard the same voices somewhere before.

At this point I know World War II better than the folks that fought it. I'd say it's time to move on, but I'm sick of hearing people say that too. That the 20 bajillionth WWII game is coming out and we still don't have an FPS game about Aztecs fighting off Conquistadors sickens me. Michael Fahey