I can't remember why my brother and I were down in the basement going through Dad's old stuff that day, but reading that kicker, I knew then I wanted to become a sports writer. I even used the same valedictory once when I was a college sports writer, taking a ribbing for using, by then, a rather dated means to close out my own column.

Fifteen years later, I'm back behind a keyboard with sports as a weekly subject, although in a bit of a different way, with a bit of a different readership. I absolutely promise not to plagiarize lines four decades old. But today, with your indulgence, this will be a column more about sports than video games, although it's illustrated with the help of one.

You see, at the end of this past year, Dad closed a 40-year career in newspapers. He had edited one he started with a colleague in 2007 and, before that, had been publisher of the paper in my hometown for nearly 30 years. If Dad leaves with a legacy, it is one of leading newspapers that insisted on local governments doing the public's business - all of it - publicly, and of holding officials accountable for that, on behalf of those they both served.

But on some level Dad's always been a sports writer to me, and more than just because he raised me with an interest in the same sports he loves. It was his first job out of college, where he wrote a column at Winston-Salem's Twin City Sentinel while waiting for my mother to graduate, and it was his duty when they married and moved to the town where I and my brother were raised.

Dad went to Elkin, N.C., in the early 1970s to be the editor of its small tri-weekly newspaper. It had no sports editor at the time, so the title also meant he was also its sports writer. Small town newsmen, then as now, must take their own pictures, whether or not they're trained photographers. Snapping broad daylight photos of big fish or check presentations or potatoes that look like Richard Nixon is one thing. The task is infinitely more complex, and critical, when you're covering the nighttime action of high school football in a blanket-mill town where that's the only thing worth reading in a weekend edition.

Working for Dad years later, I would confess the mortal fear I had of coming home from a game with no usable art. A strong vertical shot not only anchors a front, it keeps you from writing another 20 column inches just to fill out the three pages that advertising finally booked for you. In my time, we sent color film off to a local 24-hour processor, praying that what came back the next morning matched what was in the mind's eye the night before. When Dad was a sports writer, he was in a darkroom at midnight developing black and white photos off of two-inch negatives himself. And he had a trick to ensure, no matter what, that he always left the game with a magazine-quality image ready for print.

With the game all but won, Dad would sidle up to the Elkin head coach, a guy by the name of Harry Jennings, and innocently suggest the Elks run a sweep to their side of the field, where Dad would be waiting with perfect aperture, film speed and flash already set. Inevitably, Jennings would comply, knowing that it would get his players in a big photo and it would make all their parents proud to cut it out. And the picture usually looked like this: the running back coming at you, hard into the frame, driving for the corner, ball tucked, shoulder lowered, throwing out the classic Heisman Trophy stiffarm. Worked like a charm every time, Dad said.

I was born in the very early morning on a Thursday in 1973. That year, the Elkin varsity played on Thursdays. After my delivery, Dad took a long rest, got up and put on a tie - newspaper writers, no matter the circulation, always wore ties in those days. Then he went to the old office on Market Street and grabbed his Yashica Mat-124 and several rolls of film, and headed down to Memorial Park Drive for Elkin high school football. There he covered the game from the sideline, keeping track of whole offensive drives, players' cumulative yardage, completions, turnovers, the entire contest seen through his eyes and no one else's. All of this written into a notebook the width of his back pocket. All of this while peering down into a dual-lens box camera he held waist high.

And stripped across the bottom of the front page on Friday, Sept. 28, 1973, the first newspaper of my life, was his story of this game, and his signature photograph: Elkin on the toss sweep, the split end out, patrolling for trouble, the halfback turning upfield to meet the defense, his blue jersey and gold helmet rendered in black and white, arm flung out perfectly in the Heisman pose.

And the picture credited to Rebel Good.

It's that time of year again. Time to take a data dive into the heart of eBay U.S. to gauge how well the video game grey market fared during the holiday season. Rather than charting the sales numbers of a specific console, as I've done for the past three years with the Nintendo Wii, this year I'm presenting a broader overview of the eBay grey market, charting the sales for all major gaming platforms during the 30-day period beginning November 26th and ending on Christmas Day. I've compiled data on console sales, game listings, and some of the top-items passing through the popular auction website. If you want to know which platforms thrived, which handheld completely tanked, and the most successful video game-related item on eBay, then read on.

Console Sales

The table below presents a general overview of the sales performance of the major consoles and handheld systems during the month leading up to Christmas. I've listed the total sales in U.S. dollars, the number of items sold, the average selling price, and the sell-through percentage, which indicates the success of auctions posted for each specific product. Check out the table, and then we'll break things out by console.

PlayStation 3

The PlayStation 3 in all its varied incarnations sold the fewest number of consoles out of the big three this year, but that shouldn't be taken as a measure of the system's success. Indeed, if you look at the sell-through percentage, the PS3 comes out on top. That means there were less people selling, but plenty willing to buy. Since the launch of the PlayStation Slim earlier this year, Sony has maintained a steady supply of the consoles to retail outlets, and the abundance of available consoles equates less people looking for them on eBay.

From a seller's point of view, that high sell-through figure means the PlayStation 3 comes out on top in terms of sales potential.

The highest price PlayStation 3 auctions mainly consisted of limited edition consoles, including the Final Fantasy XIII bundle recently released in Japan.

Xbox 360

The Xbox 360 brought in the most money of any console this holiday season, mainly due to its average price being slightly higher than the Nintendo Wii, which pushed more units overall. The Microsoft console's sell-through numbers were only slightly lower than the PlayStation 3. Between that figure and the larger number of consoles put up for sales, it seems like putting a new 360 up for sales is seen as a relatively safe bet among sellers.

The Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Xbox 360 bundle made up a large portion of the Xbox 360 sales during the period, with 322 of the consoles representing $126,924 worth of sales. The Infinity Ward-flavored bundle went for as high as $900.

Wii

eBay sellers continue the love affair with the Wii that started with the console's 2006 holiday debut. The Wii was the top seller of the big three in terms of units sold, but the slightly lower sell-through rate indicates that there might have been a few too many up for sale.

Also note that the average price for the Wii was $190, which is below the suggested retail price. Either sellers were taking advantage of discounts and sales, or they weren't making very much in the way of profits.

DS

The Nintendo DS managed to outsell the newer, more advanced DSi this holiday season, pushing more than 2,000 units beyond what Nintendo's latest North American handheld sold. A failure for the DSi? Not exactly. Take a look at the sell-through percentage and you'll see that the DSi has the largest number of any game console. eBayers wanted to buy them, but the sellers just weren't selling.

PSP

The PSP sold strong on eBay this holiday, with the PSP-1000, 2000, and 3000 generating more money than any other handheld, though the DS trumped them with sheer numbers.

The top selling PSP was a used red God of War limited edition PSP, which went for $1,009.

Unfortunately, the PSPgo didn't fare nearly as well as its older brother. In fact, Sony's UMD-less alternative to the regular PSP performed abysmally, pushing only 250 units. It's not a factor of demand behind too high for supply either - the sell-through rate of 76.47% indicates that people simply weren't buying it.

To help paint a more complete picture, let's compare units sold versus monetary sales. If you look very closely, you'll notice that both graphs do indeed contain the PSPgo. You might need to zoom in.

Games With Legs

Now let's take a look at the games that traded this holiday season. This time around I took the top ten titles sorted by number of auctions, to see which ones were moving the most.

Certainly not a surprising list. Modern Warfare 2 seems to be showing up at the top of any list as far as sales are concerned these days, and Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort are two of the titles meant to showcase what the Wii can do, so those both sold in droves. World at War traded heavily, perhaps due to people swapping out the old for the new, and the Pure / Lego Batman combo disc packed inside select Xbox 360 consoles over the holiday season scores a tidy profit for those who received it for free.

And Uncharted 2 making the list makes sense, but what about the extremely more expensive edition?

Forty-five of the ultra-rare Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Fortune Hunter Edition made it onto eBay during the 30 days leading up to Christmas, but it seems some sellers set their hopes too high. Of the 45, only 24 sold, giving the package a 53.33% sell-through rate. The average price for the package was $891.52, with one going for as high as $1,136. Didn't get one? Maybe you should have made it to Kotaku's Child's Play fundraiser this year.

What People Look For In An Online Video Game Auction

Selling on eBay isn't just a matter of having a strong product, but being aware of what your prospective buyers are searching for and using search terms accordingly. Let's see if this list of the top 10 search terms used in both the games and system category can help.

The console search terms are pretty much common sense. Let's face it - if you're selling an Xbox 360 and you forget to include Xbox 360 in the title, there's something wrong with you. As far as game search terms go, folks initially seem to be going for specific games, but then desperation sets in. You have to be pretty desperate in order to type "Wii games" into an eBay search page.

Wii Remotes Are The New Hotcakes

Finally we come to the hottest selling video game item of the holiday season. With 8,359 items sold between November 26th and December 25th, the Nintendo Wii remote is the hottest selling gaming item this holiday season, generating more than $202,000 for sellers over the course of one month. The remote, bundled with a nunchuck, a skin, and a wrist-strap is sold as a "Nintendo Wii Remote+Nunchuck Game Controller+Skin 4 SET," though counting the wrist strap as an actual item is a bit shaky. Still, with The New Super Mario Bros. Wii making four-player gaming fun on the Wii, its no wonder the controllers are flying off the shelves, onto resellers' shelves, and then back off of the shelves again.

Another Year Goes By

And there you have the 2009 holiday season, summed up in 30 days of eBay data. A look into what happens to games and consoles once they pass from retail into the hands of the wheelers and dealers that populate the world's largest online marketplace. Bids were sniped, Buy It Now items were pounced, and in the end, everybody got feedback. A++++! Would research again!

Methodology
Statistics in the 2009 Grey Market Report were gathered using eBay market research tool Terapeak. Data was drawn for a 30 day period starting on November 26th and ending on December 25th. Console statistics were pulled directly from the Video Games / Systems subcategory to allow for mis-filed system listings, while game data was puled directly from the Video Game / Games subcategory. Console searches were limited to items in New condition, with a range of $100 to $1,000 used to ferret out accessories. Certain terms were omitted from the search in order to allow for a more accurate reporting of console pricing, including "games," "extras", "accessories," "lot," and others on a case-by-case basis - for instance, "Wii Fit" was omitted from search terms for the Wii in order to make sure systems bundled with Wii Fit did not influence the pricing data.

Two years ago Mark Wilson suggested that we should try and put together something a little special for our readers: A delightful thank you to all of those gamers out there who spend their busy work days reading Kotaku. The result was a funny little ditty written and, sadly, performed by Kotaku's own. We called it Still Not Banned.

Last year Adam Barenblat helped produce a Live Action Holiday Special featuring many of us talking to a camera in different parts of Kotaku Tower. It also included an impressive line-up of special in-game guests. Ignore my deliberately bad acting (and Princess Leia quoting) and dig the fact I was wearing my wife's robe when we shot A Very Special Kotaku Holiday Podcast.

This year we looked to Barely Digital and the Gregory Brothers for our little digital thanks to readers. They prepared this short, but sweet send off of autotuned video games.

Enjoy and make 2010 your best year ever. I know we intend to.

Confused about commenting on Kotaku? Read our FAQ.

Of the top ten most voraciously "read" posts, two feature Zoey from Left 4 Dead in various states of undress. The word "porn" appears in two headlines, the word "stripper" in another. Another features the highest concentration of unicorns we've ever seen on Kotaku. In other words, you guys are pervs who come for the steady stream video game coverage, but pounce on an opportunity to see a boob.

While many of our original reviews—Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, Borderlands—and features—Owen's on the Gamerscore obsessed and Fahey's on the Everquest obsessed—garnered heaps of attention, it's these posts, for better or worse, that outperformed everything else.

Seriously. This Should Be Illegal.
Best Buy's bullshit pricing on Geek Squad services isn't anything new, but the screengrab tag was in 2009. These lightning quick hit posts are often light on editorial, but always generate interesting discussion.

L4D is NS4W With Nude Zoey Mod
Everybody loves Left 4 Dead survivor Zoey. And some lust for her, expending enough effort to get the poor girl's pants off in the game by way of the nude Zoey mod, a hit with the readership. We've not yet heard of Left 4 Dead 2's Rochelle getting the same treatment.

Tales Of Horror From The Circuit City Liquidation
Danny. What a dick.

Games, Not Porn, is Adult Actress' Secret Pleasure
Porn stars, they're just like us! Minus the constant, overacted sex, of course. Unsurprisingly, Ms. Raven's two other Kotaku posts, drew similar horny crowds and our fair share of detractors.

Leaked Star Wars Battlefront 3 Gameplay Footage
Portions of the remains of Free Radical were on display for Star Wars Battlefront fans to mourn the developer's passing. It was this video, the most viewed video of the year on Kotaku, that gave us a peek at Battlefront 3, showing just what some of that artwork would have looked like in motion.

Strippers or Counter-Strike - Which Gets a Gamer's Attention?
It was a rhetorical question.

Left 4 Dead Reaches Ultimate Milestone: Parody Porn
Pretty disgusting, considering the fantasy rape nature of these Left 4 Dead parody videos that feature full penetration, but Zoey fantasies really go far with the fellas. I'm glad my mom doesn't read this site!

PS3 Slim Vs. Xbox 360 Elite: Tale of the Tape
Not much more than a feature spec for feature spec comparison of the then relatively new PlayStation 3 slim redesign and the Xbox 360. And readers flocked to it.

The Year, NSFW
Owen's end of year wrap up of the year's stories that required shutting one's office door, which really wasn't that bad to begin with, considering the nightly pantsu stories that Ashcraft posts.

The Konami Code Makes ESPN.com Magical!
For a few, glorious moments, ESPN.com was "cornified." Type in the classic Konami code and visitors were soaking in rainbows, ponies and unicorns. It's the post that launched a thousand tips of the "Hey! Did you know that the Konami code works on Facebook?! LOL!" nature. Yeah, we heard. Thanks!

Well, thanks for sticking with us another year, Kotaku kids! We appreciate your business and promise to never post anything not safe for work in 2010. Pinky swear!

This year will be no different. I've got a sizable backlog of games to play including Demon's Souls, Total War: Empire and early builds of Dark Void and Dante's Inferno. But there's also plenty of television to watch.

I'll be definitely catching as much of New Year Day's Doctor Who marathon as possible and I've spent a chunk of today flipping between The Twilight Zone and the Three Stooges. What about you? Games or TV?

If TV is your televised poison of choice here's a rundown of the marathons I spotted while channel surfing:

New Year's Eve
Discovery Channel: Ghost Lab
USA: Burn Notice
History Channel: Strange Rituals
TNT: Las Vegas
A&E: The First 48
Syfy: The Twilight Zone
WGN: In the Heat of the Night
AMC: The Three Stoogies
TCM: The Thin Man
The Travel Channel: Bizarre Food

New Year's Day
BBC America: Doctor Who
Discovery Channel: MythBusters
Cartoon Network: Loony Tunes
The History Channel: Ice Road Truckers
A&E: Criminal Minds
Syfy: The Twilight Zone
WGN: Barney Miller

How spectacular you ask?

The grand prize is a copy of The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, a Spirit Tracks t-shirt, a $1,000 Nintendo World Store gift card, a Zelda's "biggest fan" trophy and a white Nintendo DSi system personally signed by longtime Zelda producer Eiji Aonuma.

You'll have to live in any of the Americas (North or South) to enter. If you're interested and have the day free then go check out the official rules.

Quickly browsing through the entries page I notice that there seem to be 11 entries for the 11 finalists that will be choosing, so your odds are pretty good.

Win A DSi Signed By Zelda Director, $1000 Shopping Spree (And More!)

As of last night, I'm only about 90 minutes into the game, which has been a familiar first 90 minutes. Much of what I've seen in demos, in screenshots and in trailers has been during these first few chapters. I'm greatly anticipating seeing something new, discovering more of what Bayonetta has to offer. While not as challenging (at this point) as I was expecting, the game is clearly letting me know that I need to improve my skills if I want to unlock much of Bayonetta's content.

Oh, and I may throw in some Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes and The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. And some Demon's Souls.

How about you? Got anything on the game plan for the next few days? And if you have any questions about Bayonetta, now's the time to ask!

Media Molecule has been passing out the Sackademy Awards left and right this month, with the winners for Best Machinima Video, Best Visuals and Use of Special Effects, Best Use of Story in a Level and more now available for your viewing pleasure over at the PlayStation Blog. The only award yet to be determined is the coveted Level of the Year, and that's all up to your vote.

As I said, MM has selected 10 finalist, and they want you to decide which should take home the award. Not only do I think this is a lovely way to get the fan community involved, playing through the ten levels is an excellent reason to dust off that copy of LittleBigPlanet you've played twice and then never went back to, not to mention a fine way to spend an hour or so while waiting for your time zone to warp into the future.

Hit up the link below for a list of the finalist, and remember to actually play the levels and not just pick LittleDeadSpace because the name is awesome.

The Sackies - Level of the Year [Media Molecule]

The stand holds your DSi horizontally or vertically and can be adjusted to whatever viewing angle best suits you, but besides using it with maybe the Nintendo Cooking Guide, I don't see getting a lot of use out of it.

It is a nice way to display the DSi when you're not using it, I suppose, and for $15 it's not too pricey. Am I missing something?

The Howard County Sheriff's Department in Indiana discovered that Hightower, was a big fan of some "warlock and witches game", eventually piecing together that it was World of Warcraft.

The investigating deputy contacted Blizzard to see if they would help track him down, the Kokomo Perspective reports.

"They don't have to respond to us, and I was under the assumption that they wouldn't," Roberson told the Perspective. "It had been three or four months since I had sent the subpoena. I just put it in the back of my mind and went on to do other things. Then I finally got a response from them. They sent me a package of information. They were very cooperative. It was nice that they were that willing to provide information."

Blizzard provided the sheriff the suspect's IP address, account information and history, his billing address, and his online screen name and preferred server. Deputies then used the information to pinpoint Hightower's location in Canada.

Hightower, who was wanted on charges of dealing in a schedule III controlled substance and dealing in a schedule IV controlled substance, and two charges of dealing in marijuana, was picked up by Canadian authorities and will be returned to Howard County on Jan. 5.

While it's good to see Blizzard helping out law enforcement, it is a touch Big Brothery to hear just how much information they track and keep and are so willing to give away... even when not legally required to do so.

Long arm of law reaches into World of Warcraft [Kokomo Perspective, thanks Tim]

Noah Wardrip-Fruin, assistant professor at UC Santa Cruz and author of Expressive Processing: Digital Fictions, Computer Games, and Software Studies, pokes some holes in the game's seeming perfection.

The design of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves should make integrating gameplay and fiction easier in two particular ways. First, it's linear, so there's no need to worry about unexpected traversals of the fictional space. Second, it's almost entirely scripted - a matter of how adeptly things are accomplished, rather than what approach is taken or what tasks are attempted - so there's little chance of unexpected emergence from game mechanics coming into play in places, times, or combinations other than what the developer intended. Given these advantages/limitations, the game's creators shouldn't have much trouble making sure that gameplay action is solidly motivated by, situated in, and consistent with the fictional world.

And it appears to have worked, at least from the game's reception. As you probably know, the game has been getting great reviews that call it "a rollicking good yarn" that "gives up nothing to the biggest action films you can think of."

I've just started playing myself - thanks to winter break - but I'm actually a bit disappointed in Uncharted 2. It seems as though the gameplay and fiction have more disjuncture than even in the first Uncharted, much less a well-written movie.

Consider, for example, the first major chunk of action (after the prologue in the snow). This is set in a museum, and Nathan Drake (the main character) takes pains to explain to his accomplices that he doesn't want them to bring guns, because they're just going up against museum guards - and he doesn't want to kill anyone. This leads to a bunch of non-lethal hand-to-hand. Next it is revealed that one of the accomplices has brought guns. But they're non-lethal dart guns, so it's okay, and a bunch of museum guards get tranqed. Then, in the midst of this, Drake is hanging from a roof edge when a guard walks toward it. The game prompts the player to hit the square button - which results in grabbing the guard and throwing him to his apparent death. An accomplice makes a joke of this and Drake makes no mention of this completely out of character action. Others have also found this strange. But the associated joke (the one that starts, "There's a guy above you!") also appears to be one of the game's most-quoted.

The next big chunk of action has an even-odder break between the fiction and the design of the gameplay. Here the scenario involves a set of explosive charges that have been placed around a camp. The player character must arm them so that they can be used as part of a diversion. But the process of arming them requires fighting a camp of men armed with automatic weapons - an accomplice says we'll have to "clear the place out" - and the game neither prompts nor seems to provide the possibility of doing this via stealth. So the only way to play is to have a large firefight against people armed with automatic weapons and presumably aware of the route back to the main camp to warn their fellows. This seems likely to create at least as large a "diversion" (at the wrong fictional moment) as blowing up a few explosives mounted to the sides of the very platforms around which the firefight takes place. It's as though the fiction authors said "Let's have them arm some charges" and the gameplay authors said "Let's have the associated challenge be a firefight with several waves of goons" and no one checked to see if the gameplay made any sense with the context and motivation of the fiction.

Starting the game this way was leaving me a bit dispirited, though wanting to press on, given the Edge review's reassurance that the "opening chapters do not see the game at its very best." But then I heard the questions I was asking myself. "Did they put that guard's death in there just so they could work in that joke?" "Why didn't even a single one of the many goons we fought think to run the short distance to the main camp, if they were cut off from their radios?" I realized - these are exactly the sorts of questions I find myself asking after seeing the same blockbuster action movies on which the Uncharted games model their experience.

Arguably this is a sign that the Naughty Dog developers are right on target. It wouldn't have occurred to me as a goal, but it might be a sign of perfection to have emulated not only the globe-hopping spectacle and history-mashing treasure hunts of well-loved action films, but also their sloppiness in integrating action and fiction. Let's hope, however, that Uncharted 3 can reconsider this aspect of devotion to its inspirations.

Reprinted with permission from expressiveintelligentstudio.

Noah Wardrip-Fruin is an assistant professor at UC Santa Cruz, where he teaches in the University of California's first undergraduate computer game degree program, co-directs the Expressive Intelligence Studio in the Computer Science department, and founded the Playable Media project group in the Digital Arts and New Media MFA program. His most recent book is Expressive Processing: Digital Fictions, Computer Games, and Software Studies.

Sony Hong Kong held the FFXIII launch event in Hong Kong's Causeway Bay, next to the Sogo department store. There were playable FFXIII demos and folks dressed as characters from the game — including HK popstar Adason Lo, who hosted the event and dressed as Snow. He sang a song, too!

PS3 FINAL FANTASY XIII 幻想の壘 [fotop via Siliconera]

It's a pretty straightforward affair. You show up, you're of age, you play some MAG and socialized with the Zipper Interactive folks, peppering them with questions about the next SOCOM in between hands-on time with the "final beta."

Additional details are right here, but if you happen to miss out on the good natured festivities, the game will hit North American store shelves just a few weeks later.

Oh, here's some important information!

Who: You and 99 other diehard MAG fans
When: Thursday, January 7 from 4:00 to 7:00pm
Where: The Aria Hotel at CityCenter in Las Vegas, Nevada

Requirements:
· You must be 18 years-old or older – ID *will* be checked by burly men!
· You must RSVP via the Facebook event page.
· Don't hang out in the main lobby! Line up outside Juniper rooms 2 & 3.

Celebrate MAG Going Gold in Vegas – CES Meetup details [PlayStation.blog]

And there's a lot more where that came from, courtesy of the scanning prowess of Zelda Power, which looks to have each and every Nintendo designed card, from Animal Crossing to Pokemon to Professor Layton and beyond. A few other Japanese developers from Capcom, Konami, Square Enix and elsewhere also took part, which can be seen in the gallery at Zelda Power.

Nintendo Dream: Developer New Years Cards 2010 [Zelda Power]

Of course, Kyle and Mrs. Kyle had a custom made Triforce cake—obligatorily pictured below—but it's the Zelda cartridge cufflinks that the groom and groomsmen wore during the ceremony that ups the video game wedding contest. If my eyes and memory are accurate, that's The Legend of Zelda (NES), Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (NES), The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES), The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time (N64), The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64) and The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GameCube) keeping these gentlemen's cuffs from flapping in the breeze.

How nerd-cool is that?

"Was there cake?" you're probably asking. Oh, of course there was cake.

Kyle's threatening to send video of some of the Zelda-themed wedding's nerdier moments our way, but until he does, congratulations to the bride and groom for getting hitched in such a Hyrulian fashion. Update: Kyle has made good on that threat. The "Kotaku Cut" video is here.

Thanks, Kyle!

...can still be faked. Along with these four new screens for Two Worlds II, Reality Pump has released a series of "MoveShots" at its website. "MoveShots" are tiny little videos that show the game in motion, which according to a press release will take care of any worries fans might have about fake screenshots.

"These, so-called, MoveShots serve as a very vivid forecast into the Antaloor universe featured in "Two Worlds II" as well as dispelling any rumors about the possibility of doctored screen shots, which, unfortunately, are all too common throughout the modern day videogame industry."

Hit up the game's website to check out the MoveShots for yourself. They're just like tiny movies, only...exactly like tiny movies.

Not does the cake look and sound absolutely amazing, "Bride" here goes above and beyond, integrating Mario into her special day to such an extent that the lucky man will need to show up to every anniversary with diamonds to even begin to deserve her.

"I had found pics of a very similar cake online, and it inspired me to create my own Mario cake and surprise my groom on our wedding day (November 5th). My groom is a professional video gamer, and his favorite game is Mario cart. We were married in Vegas, so I had the bottom tier a desert theme, and I went with the old school Peach Castle rather than a modern one. I'm brunette, and my groom a blonde, so I had them customize Peach and Mario accordingly. The only hint I gave my groom about the cake was I had a pair of Mario boxers delivered to him to wear during the ceremony the morning of the big day, and then I had our rings brought forth by the ring bearer on a 1-Up key-chain which later snuck itself into my bouquet for the rest of the day. The entire cake was edible, the desert tier was berries and creme, the galaxy was bouncy chocolate with chantilly cream, and the castle (which has been preserved in my freezer for the 1 year anniversary) is peanut butter chocolate. I hope you post the pics on your site, so your readers can find more inspiration for their own wedding creations!"

I don't know who her husband is, but if he ever hurts her there'll be a slew of gamers waiting to take his place. Line forms at my back, ladies and gentlemen.