Kneebouncers is the brainchild of Jim Robinson, the father of three non-brain children who was frustrated that his slightly older children could play on the computer while his young daughter could not. His solution? Kneebouncers, a collection of web-based video game activities that only require that the baby or toddler playing be able to hit the keyboard.

Most of the activities are simple flash animations with colorful characters that animate when a button is pressed, almost like turning the page in a storybook. They are primitive, and barely even games as we define them, but it's less dangerous than crawling about on the floor eating plastic and licking electrical outlets, so I approve.

Bring your drooling offspring to http://www.kneebouncers.com to play. It's free, though a percentage of donations and proceeds from the sale of shirts and plushies goes to the Children's Aid Society.

Pretty ugly babies with knives for arms, to be exact, and I'm not sure there is a court in the land that would prosecute you for kicking a few of them as they waddle towards you, swinging about their razor-sharp appendages menacingly. Executive Producer Jonathan Knight spoke of this achievement yesterday at EA's Naughty and Nice holiday press event during a discussion of the game's finer points, which aren't just breasts and the odd bit of phallic architecture.

The achievement is similar to the "Kill 1,000 Children" achievement in Fairytale Fights, which might not make it into the final game. I wouldn't worry about EA taking away the "Bad Nanny" achievement though. After all, they've got one of the greatest literary works of all time backing them up.

Dante's Inferno to Feature Kill Unbaptized Babies Achievement [UGO]

Worse, they might not like videogames.

No, no, it's too horrible to contemplate. Luckily this Etsy store is selling the essential kit you need to turn a newborn into a hardcore gamer - a Space Invaders onesie/babygrow, joystick bib and concentration-improving hat.

$5.99 plus shipping is a bargain, people. Remember - the children are our future.

Punk Rock 80's Baby GIFT SET onesie hat bibs Atari arcade game UNISEX black white[Etsy via Wonderland]

Talk about starting them out early! This little tyke doesn't stand a chance of ever growing up to be anything but a stellar nerd of the first order. All to the good I say, as we need to keep the rank and file up to snuff after all! Let's just hope that he/she hangs on to that 18 charisma. The shield with the two bunnies and the carrot is especially sweet, although I usually prefer my bunnies with larger fangs.

As much as I love this though, my vote for best baby shirt ever still goes to the one that says "Daddy drinks because I cry." Truer words were never spoken. Flynn De Marco

[via Aeropause]

The deadly flying wiimote epidemic of 2006 very well could have been avoided if only Nintendo had maintained the same safety standards it had back in 1982. Kotakuite Astrofox has unearthed evidence proving that the venerable company once dedicated itself to saving its products and customers from the vile infant scourge.

I just found my original donkey kong game and watch and it had all the documentation with it. You thought Nintendo of 2007 was paranoid, try Nintendo 1982. Stickers specifically designed to keep babies from breaking open the unit, and feasting on the sweet sweet batteries inside.