Kotaku: ask kotaku

Some Guy Is Blackmailing Me, Delete My Account

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 06:40:08 MDT

Gather around! It's "Ask Kotaku" time! You know, a rare chance for you to take a peek in our mailbag. The following is a real question from a real reader:

To: tipsATkotakuDOTcom
From: SOME READER

Hi! This is SOME READER, is it possible for you to also delete all my comments from Kotaku, Some guy at my school is going to show them to my gf and im abt of a closet geek. I have only made 3 comments so i hope it is not an inconvienence, also it would be good if there was some way t delete my profile.

Two minutes later, we received this email:

To: tipsATkotakuDOTcom
From: SOME READER

Hi! This is SOME READER again, is it possible for you to also delete all my comments from the Koei warriors forum? Sorry

We're pretty sure this reader has more important things to worry about than comments he made about a Koei game — namely, his choice of companions. If you're girlfriend really cares for you, why should it matter that you geek out over Koei?

(And no, we didn't delete his comments or account, per site policy.)

20th Century Fox. Dear, Mr Akira Toriyama.

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:00:39 MST

We want to help. Really. Whether it be answering your questions or ignoring them, we're here. Previously, we got an email fro Kojima, but since we'd fired him long ago, we were never able to reply. Reader Oummada sent us the following email not once, but twice. It reads:

To: Bashcraft
From: Oummada H.
RE: Scoop Dragon Ball Z live action movie (casting)
20th Century Fox

My name is Oummada H., I'm writting this letter to let you know, that I went to play in the Dragon Ball Z movies. First of all, because I have what it takes to play the role of Sangoku in your movie. I have never palyed in a movie, but everyone needs to start somewhere. Second of all, you can see on the pictures, that I have joined to this letter, that I have the same haircut as Sangoku and we all know that Sangoku's hair is the power. Third of all, I know everyting on Dragon Ball's Z univers, except the personel view of Akira Toriyama. To conclude, I have a twin brother that looks just like me. I hope your will read this letter and see my pictures and realize that I am the real Sangoku.

Dear, Mr Akira Toriyama.

My name is Oummada H. and I think that I could play the role of Sangoku in Dragon Ball Z for 20th Century Fox, who bought the rights of the movies. As you can see on my pictures, from my personel view, I look just like Sangoku. I'm sure by seeing those pictures, you'll be shocked by the resemblance of Sangoku and I. I also have a twin brother that looks just like me, I think you know where I want to come to thank you, for taking the time to read my letter.

for contact my: (his email address - Ed.)

Pics of this casting hopeful after the jump.

He's a Spurs fan.

And an Expos fan. He smokes, too. In case 20th Century Fox and Akira Toriyama are interested, we also have pics of Oummada next to a plant, sitting on a bench and with his dog.

Dear Hideo

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 08:00:14 MDT

Sometimes readers have tips, sometimes they have questions. And hey, we're always happy to answer! The following is a real question from a real reader:

To: Bashcraft, Crecente
From: SOME READER
Subject: To Hideo Kojima

Will MGS: The Twin Snakes and MGS:Portable Ops ever become available for the PS3 via the PS network?

Hit the jump for my response.

To: SOME READER
From: Bashcraft
Subject: RE: RE: To Hideo Kojima

Kojima doesn't work here anymore. We fired him.

...

To: Bashcraft
From: SOME READER
Subject: Re: Re: To Hideo Kojima

You fired the Metal Gear Solid series creator? I am curious why?
If you know some one you could forward this email to him, I would appreicate it a lot. Thanks.

...

To: SOME READER
From: Bashcraft
Subject: Re: Re: Re: To Hideo Kojima

Guy was a total slacker. A day dreamer. That, and he really wasn't that good at blogging. Glad to see that this "game directing thing" has worked out for him.

Wish him the best luck! No, really.

No further reply was received.

Ask Kotaku: Help Me Dance, Dance... to Victory!

Joel — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 07:43:52 MDT

Before the end of this month, at the behest of a print magazine, I will enter a Dance Dance Revolution tournament. With your help, I might even win. (But I seriously doubt it.)

Now I'm not exactly a stranger to DDR; I've got a metal home pad for the PS2. What I am not is an expert. The ways of the hoppity dance are a cold territory unvisited by my white, hot flailing.

Secreted in our ranks are a few dance veterans willing to offer me guidance, surely.

I'm already planning on purchasing the latest PS2 version of DDR—the blue one—and have begun a legitimate physical regimen designed to counteract last month's swirling return to cigarettes and breading. What I need now are the following:

• A progression—a series of benchmarks determined by others more familiar with the world of competitive DDR. (That's you!)

• A plan—how to reach those goals.

• A persona—a garish identity in which I may cloak my ineptitude. (Seen here: Take 1, 'The Jazz Handler.')

• A place—I need to find a tourney in the New York Cityish area before June 30th.

Help me, Kotaku! Make this gooey hulk a Bemani monster! Joel Johnson