Kotaku: april fools

Red Faction Guerrilla Presents: The Ostrich Hammer

Mike Fahey — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:40:00 MDT

The latest developer diary for Red Faction: Guerrilla reveals where the real power in the gaming industry lies, with the introduction of the Ostrich Hammer.

The Ostrich Hammer is a response to a NeoGAF thread, in a screenshot of the main character swinging the game's power hammer was badly photoshopped with a picture of an ostrich. When NeoGAF talks, game developers listen.

The only problem with April Fool's jokes like this, is now I will be completely crushed if the Ostrich Hammer doesn't end up in the game.

Red Faction: Guerrilla - "Special Weapon" Developer Diary [PWN or Die]

Microsoft Announces Alpine Legend For Xbox 360

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 05:00:00 MDT

Just in time for April 1! If only more games were played in lederhosen. If only this was real. If only.

Ditto for the goat add-on pack.

Alpine Legend [Xbox.com Thanks Matt!]

Microsoft Makes Fools Of Us With Awesome Accessories

Mark Wilson — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:20:00 MDT

Microsoft had some fun at all of our expense over at their Xbox.com site. As part of a "What's Popping Up This Spring" promotion complete with pastel flower festivity, they announced four "new" products for pre-order. But before we get all giggly, let me be the first to say that this Xbox 360 Vintage Edition is actually quite awesome and should really be produced. Sure, the 100-or-so-button controller appears a but daunting. But it's made of wood. Real wood!

For the other three prank products, hit the jump.

Oh man, we really hope" that this is really a joke. Otherwise we just totally got scooped on Microsoft's latest 360s SKUs.

* Sorry fanboys, we're absolutely certain that this is a joke. Yes, we want a console helmet, too. Sure, it'd be better than a DS. No, you wouldn't be able to feel people chucking rocks at you since you are wearing head protection.

First Look For Our Long-Time Gamers [Xbox]

Super Pii Pii Brothers...What Can You Say?

Mark Wilson — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:00:00 MDT

Occasionally there's a story that hits on April 1st that you only wish was a prank. Pii Pii Brothers, a $35 import for the Nintendo Wii, is such a story. OK, it's actually just a prank. But still.

The play mechanics are simple. Prepare yourself by strapping on the included belt harness and jacking in your Wiimote.

Oh man. And it only gets worse.

A series of toilets are presented on screen and the challenge is to tilt your body to control a never-ending stream of pee. Get as much pee in the toilets as you can while spilling as little on the floor as possible. Sounds easy eh? Well the toilets open and close whack-a-mole style and occasionally the stray cat or other cute critter pops up. Spray a cat for extra points.

OK, I'll admit that the game sorta had me until the peeing on homeless animals part. Seriously, peeing on stray pets? Seriously? If there's any good that's come of this, it's that women can experience the thrill of virtual bipedal urination. In other words, no good has come of this. Happy April 1st. Super Pii Pii Brothers [ThinkGeek via Geekologie]

Blizzard Does April Fool's Right

Mike Fahey — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 10:20:00 MDT

No one does April Fool's Day quite like Blizzard, and this year is no exception. Today they've unleashed not one, but three separate April Fool's Day jokes on the completely suspecting (for the most part, see below) masses.

By far the best is the announcement of the new Hero Class for the Wrath of the Lich King expansion, the Bard. Utilizing their magical axes, which they hold upside down, the Bard class unleashes their powers in the form of a Guitar Hero riff, with the amount of riffs hit determining how badly they rock their opponent's world. We're pretty much in total agreement here at Kotaku Tower - we'd play the hell out of this class if it were real. Hit the jump for more Blizzard tomfoolery!

Over at the Starcraft II website they've just announced a new Terran unit for the game, the Tauren Marine.

The obscure planet of Azeroth was found to harbor a dizzying selection of humans, mutants, and aliens in a state of perpetual superstition and conflict. The most physically imposing of these warrior races were the so-called 'tauren,' an anthropomorphic bovine genotype with super-human stamina, overpowered racial combat abilities, and bizarrely well-developed horticultural skills.
While most tauren were satisfied with their agrarian culture and primitive existence, the Confederacy was able to lure away large numbers of young bulls for a life of adventure and violence along the galactic rim. Other tauren referred to these adventurers as 'mad cows,' and they were ostracized from the rest of their kine.

Mmmm, beefy! Hit up the site for videos of the new units in action!

Finally we have the announcement you've all been waiting for, World of Warcraft finally makes it to consoles - the Atari 2600! World of Warcraft: The Molten Core features all of the excitement of a full MC raid on your Atari 2600. Boasting 10 bosses with 6 unique boss models and the ability to move in any of 8 directions, perhaps the greatest achievement of the game is the fact that it has sound! Completely ridiculous, really. Who the hell would be fooled by this?

From: Ben
To: Tips@Kotaku.com
Subject: WOW COMES TO CONSOLES

Credit me as Ben, please.

Thanks Ben! In the future you might want to try reading the article before sending in the tip, instead of having to follow up your original email with "Shit I didn't even read the article. It's an April Fool's joke." By then it's far too late. Visit the site for more screens, as well as the stunning debut trailer of World of Warcraft: The Molten Core!

World of Warcraft: The Molten Core [Blizzard -Thanks Ben and Everyone Else!]

You Got Assassin's Creed In My MGS4!

Mike Fahey — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 09:20:00 MDT

When worlds collide, they go BOOM! What do you get when you insert Assassin's Creed's Altair into Metal Gear Solid 4? Well you get this video clip, which shows the smoking assassin watching patiently while countless soldiers get slaughtered before leaping into action and finally revealing what he's been hiding beneath that robe...Solid Snake! Feel free to insert your own "Is that a Solid Snake under your robe?" jokes in the comments section, while we try to figure out where the hell this clip came from.

Assassins's Solid [YouTube - Thanks furilla187!]

Kaketaku: Glucose, Whip and Leaf for Obsessive Game Cakers

Brian Crecente — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 08:05:00 MDT

Welcome readers to the new face of Kotaku, a site rededicated to the minute coverage of all things Game Cake. It was a long time coming, but over the years we've noticed that while sites like GameSpot, IGN and 1Up voluminously cover the video game industry, little time is spent on that sweetest of tangents, the artful Game Cake.

No more will we waste your time by detailing the movements of game company CEOs, revealing early the secrets of consoles and developers alike, instead we will work to push Game Caking to the frosty heights it so richly deserves.

Expect in the weeks, months, years to come detailed secrets on the people behind the cakes you know and love, tips on how to prepare your own Game Cakes and nuanced features on the inner machinations of some of bakings greatest.

As always we will strive to stay in front of the pack, covering the game cake industry as both an outsider. Some might argue that all Game Cakes need is a cold glass of milk, but we at Kaketaku knows it needs some hard-nosed journalism.... too.

Kaketaku

Kaketaku In the House, Unboxing

Brian Crecente — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 08:00:00 MDT

Late last night this showed up on my doorstep, the fabulous pink and green Kotaku cake. I'll post up my impressions in a bit, but for now here's some sexy unboxing shots. Thank God Jason isn't around, I don't think it would survive a pantsing.

Halo Lego Game? Think Not!

Drew Crecente — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:00:00 MST

In what is looking like a trend today (if two posts can be considered a trend), there's another LEGO bit of news today, this time involving Halo. However since this is appearing in EGM's April edition it's likely their idea of an April Fool's joke. It's tough to say though as this issue is already on newsstands and we've just entered March.

Also, I don't find this to be especially outlandish, certainly not any more than the Batman game posted earlier today. Personally, I think a Halo LEGO game could be every bit as successful as the other games in the LEGO franchise.

Feel free to tell me how utterly wrong I am.

ThinkGeek's 8-Bit Tie Not Just Vaporwear

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:20:09 MDT

What started out as an April Fool's joke may turn into a real product. ThinkGeek's clip-on 8-Bit Tie appeared on the site yesterday and received such an overwhelmingly positive response, they've decided to actually produce the damn thing.

From ThinkGeek:

Hey! You! Quit emailing us to make this for REAL already ;) We promise, we'll make it. In fact we are already working on it. You've just forced our hand! Click the 'email me when available' link above to get notified! Thanks! I guess the joke is on us this year :p

But that WiiHelm? You're probably going to have to make your own. Thanks Janson! Michael McWhertor

The ThinkGeek 8-bit Tie [ThinkGeek]

The Best Fake Consoles Of All Time

Michael McWhertor — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 19:40:09 MDT

As a videogame enthusiast, I loathe April Fool's day and the tired, juvenile tradition of "funny" fake news reporting that comes from generally serious outlets. But 99 Lives' appropriately timed list of the best console hoaxes makes the silly holiday a little less painful. Of the five, I believe only one has been posted on Kotaku before, the clearly fake, but beautifully rendered PSPboy.

Thank the gaming gods April Fool's falls on a Sunday and that I don't work weekends anymore. I'm just going to stay off the internet that day. Michael McWhertor

Just in Time for April Fools - The Top Five Hoax Game Consoles [99 Lives via Game|Life]

Glocker Z-Day Round-Up

brownlee — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 13:40:16 MDT

On March 28th, 2006, a strange Venusian satellite streaked an eerie fluorescent parabola across the sky, irradiating the world's cemetaries, funeral parlors and abattoirs with an extraterrestrial radiation. Four days later, the dead walked, slavering for human flesh and tasty brains. And we were here covering it.

Just in case you missed Saturday's day-long coverage of the zombie apocalypse on the Glocker sites (the agglomeration of vaguely tech-oriented sites on the Gawker network, containing Gizmodo, Lifehacker, Consumerist and Kotaku), here's a round-up of all the posts made on April 1st. Gizmodo became Gizombo. Lifehacker became Deathhacker. The Consumerist became The Flesh Consumerist. And Kotaku got a zombified subtitle.

The full list of Z-Day posts across all sites is after the jump:

Kotaku: Making Your Last Life Count [Kotaku]
Gizombo: Keeping Readers Living [Gizmodo]
Deathhacker: End of the world? Yeah, Right [Lifehacker]
Announcement: The Flesh Consumerist [Consumerist]
Miyamoto Announces Nintendo DSkin [Kotaku]
American McGree Announced American McGee's Hansel and Gretel [Kotaku]
WoW Alliance Dwindles As Players Transition To Undead [Kotaku]
After Z-Day, Sony Confident There Will Be No PS3 Shortages [Kotaku]
Will Wright's Spoor [Kotaku]
Morning Deals Round-Up [Consumerist]
Wal-Mart Big Boxes Serve As Zombie-Invulnerable Forts [Consumerist]
McDonald's Can't Keep Up With Undead Demand [Consumerist]
Companies Replace Indians With Zombie CSRs [Consumerist]
Use Google Maps To Track Zombies In Your Area [Lifehacker]
Ask MetaFilter Roundup [Lifehacker]
Picking the right tool for the job [Lifehacker]
Zombism obviating social networking services [Lifehacker]
Geek to Die: How-To Date The Dead [Lifehacker]
Zombie Survival Guide [Gizmodo]
Winchester XXX-Magnum Zombie-Killing Shotgun Shells Flying Off Shelves [Gizmodo]
Hemopurifier: Human-Powered Blood Filter [Gizmodo]
Crowd Control: Toro Lawn Boy 10367 [Gizmodo]
Jetlagged? Turn into a zombie [Gizmodo]
Zombie Hand Holds Leash, Flips Bird for You [Gizmodo]
Chomp! MDS Silver Bullet Rock Bucket [Gizmodo]
Essentials: Snowpeak Titanium Spork [Gizmodo]
Neptunic Bite-Proof Sharksuits [Gizmodo]
Crowd Control: Stihl HT 100 Pole Pruner [Gizmodo]

We hope all you guys dug it!