Kotaku Originals: We Hold These Truths to Be Self-Evident

That's right, four score and seven years ago today at Valley Forge, John F. Kennedy and the Lone Ranger chopped down the cherry tree that Squanto ate at the first Thanksgiving, and Paul Revere hung a light in the Alamo to alert Teddy Roosevelt's Rough Riders: "N00B, red team has taken teh control point, FAIL." Then…