We sent select members of Team Kotaku—highly trained athletes to a man—on a mad dash through the E3 show floor last week to collect the most swag in thirty minutes. This year's winner? Mark Wilson, one of our sweaty-browed video producers. Pictured is his winning (by value) swag haul—and he came in with a minute to spare. (Honorable mention to Jason Chen for winning the 'Volume' prize, and Lia Bulaong for 'Weight.')

We'll be giving the sum total of the swag harvested to one lucky (?) winner here soon, giving you a part of the E3 experience in the comfort of your own, single-user-body-odor home. In the meantime, enjoy Mark's tips on how to garner the most swag in the least amount of time, after the jump.

Swag like a pro! (And maybe we'll see you in the Swag Off next year!)

After triumphing in the First Annual Kotaku Swag Off, I've been getting quite a few calls - a book deal, movie rights for the book deal, a lawsuit for the movie rights for the book deal - but I decided since Kotaku was there for me when I was just a "normal", I would give them the official exclusive.

I wish I could teach you the way of the swag, but honestly, I think it's one of those things you are born with. But since you weren't, read on after the jump for how the pros do it.

Swag tip 1: You need to ask.

E3 isn't about the games; it's about the swag. Don't be distracted by the Wii and other trinkets. Go right to the reception desk and actually ask someone if they are giving anything away.

Swag tip 2: You need to ask for more than one.

Two is always better than one, especially with swag. After you get a piece of swag, take it and ask if you could get just one more. I mean, there are all sorts of holidays going on after E3 and I know my mom will love the God of War t-shirt.

Swag tip 3: Say you're someone of legitimacy.

To a faceless company, sometimes the average person isn't worth the sweet, sweet nectar of the swag. But a little affiliation goes a long way. I was with Kotaku, and I said so right in my introduction. Of course since you aren't with Kotaku, say you are with Joystiq. It won't bother us.

Swag tip 4: Gloat.

Swag may fade, but glory lasts forever. —Mark Wilson