Here, in its entirety, is a letter from a desperate man. Yoshi wrote it to inform us that he planned to absolutely wallow in his Wii as soon as he got it out of the bag, and had taken steps to assure that he would not be disturbed.

Hi! Just wanted to let you guys know that once I get the Nintendo Wii, I will be spending a straight week on the Wii (minus 4-5hrs/day for sleep). i have been approved for the time off from work, and will be setting up a live web feed of my week with Wii. I don't plan on leaving my room for anything but toiletry needs and the blog update every 4 hours. I'll give you guys more info as the luanch approaches. I know I can't do this alone, that is why my younger brother will be joining me to ensure that I don't sleep longer than I need to. i'll be picking up Twilight Princess, Red Steel, Madden 07, Rayman, Excite Truck, Call of Duty 3, and a few others that I'm hoping will make luanch. I will be living off of pizza, and anything microwavable. Just thought you guys might be interested! Oh and yes I deed manage to get a Wii pre-order, 2 actually, Thanks for your time Yosh!

Oh my god, Yoshi, you poor baby. Listen. It's not worth it, okay? They're launch games. Forcing yourself to spend a week in a room with them, gorging yourself on lukewarm Domino's and Bawls, will do nothing but fatten you like a veal calf and make me sad.

After a few days you will begin to despise these games, like you begin to despise your best friend after he becomes your roommate and starts leaving pubic hair on the sink and peach pits in the garbage disposal.

Slow news day? Try no news day. Eliza Gauger