"You didn't just jump on a Koopa. You jumped on Gary. Gary Rivers." R.I.P, Gary Rivers. May your passing serve as a reminder of what a cold-blooded murderer Pete Holmes' Realistic Mario is.

After getting his brother killed and getting ripped apart by a dinosaur, it's no wonder Mario doesn't pay attention to what or who he's jumping on or setting fire to. It's a wonder he goes outside at all.