According to a recent report by Agence France-Presse, anyone who is reading this is likely to be a disgusting fatty. Also? A no-good, filthy whore.

Computer games have been suspected of contributing to societal ills ranging from obesity and a breakdown of family communication to promiscuity and an inclination to violence, according to researchers.

Thank god someone's paying researchers to report on suspicions as opposed to correlation. They did, however, fail to mention that games are also suspected of making magical fairies come to life, and being exchangeable for fat, promiscuous sex in many gamer counter-cultures.

Anyway, that fat people are promiscuous is no surprise: getting a fat person to have sex with you is less a challenge of seduction than making sure not to mistake the cavernous, sweaty navel for another plungeable orifice that hangs beneath the groin. What is surprising that someone out there is being paid to report on the suspicion that sitting stationary on your flabby ass all day is likely to make you out-of-shape. Florian Eckhardt

Games make you have sex [Eurogamer]