Kotaku

grand theft auto IV

For Some Reason, Australia Is Getting An Uncut GTA IV On PC

In perhaps the most glaring example of the OFLC's utter disregard for consistency, Grand Theft Auto IV will be released in Australia on PC completely uncut. Even though the console versions were cut, cut, cut.

According to Rockstar, the Aussie PC version "is unedited in any way and identical in content to the international version". Why the Office of Film & Literature Classification thinks it's OK to let people bang hookers on a PC but not a console is anyone's guess. More »

Square Enix

Let's Learn About The Five Dragon Quest IX Classes

Square Enix has announced info about the five character classes in Dragon Quest IX. We have info about those classes: Warrior, Mage, Priest, Martial Artist and Thief. That info is in the paragraphs directly below this. Read it. More »

Nintendo

No, Nintendo, You Are Not Allowed To Trademark The Term "Wii Remote"

In March, Nintendo sought to trademark the term "Wii Remote". As you'd expect, what with the device being theirs and all. But last week, a letter arrived at Nintendo HQ. The sender? The United States Patent Office. Their response?

"No dice".

Why? Because the word "remote" is too common to be trademarked. Can't own a word that the world already uses, guys. Seems somebody at Nintendo ticked the wrong box, and they'll now have to go back and try again, this time with the realisation they can only trademark the the name "Wii Remote", not both words individually.

U.S. Patent Office Balks at Nintendo's Wii Remote Trademark Attempt [Game Politics]

Wii

So, How Much Money Does Nintendo Make From Each Wii Sold?

It's a well-known fact that Nintendo turn a profit on every Wii they sell. What's not well-known is how much profit they make. Nintendo won't tell us, but Macquarie Securities reckon they know.

And, according to a report in Forbes citing Macquarie data, it's $6 per Wii. Bear in mind that's an analyst calculation, not hard fact, but it's likely not too far off the mark.

$6 from $250 might not sound like much, but when the console's already sold nearly 40 million units, it's much.

Wii's Future In Motion [Forbes, via MCV]

Xbox Live Arcade

Banjo Kazooie Googly Eyes XBLA This Week

Xbox Live Arcade is getting a massive dose of big, bright eyes this Wednesday as Rare's classic Banjo-Kazooie finally lands on Xbox Live Marketplace. Relive the Nintendo 64 experience with authentically blurry textures!

You know the story: save Tooty from Gruntilda while traversing green grass levels, red magma levels and white ice levels, collecting all sorts of gold things along the way. Cost to you is just 1200 Microsoft Points — or $15 if you're in the US of A — if you didn't have the foresight to pre-order Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts and get it for free. But you really can't put a price on Jiggy collecting now, can you?

Prince Of Persia

Waiter, There's Some Beyond Good & Evil In My Prince Of Persia

Hot on the heels of news both Altair and the original Prince from Sands of Time would be turning up in Prince of Persia comes these screens. Showing a suit for the ladies. Seems that when you complete the game, you get access to a Jade costume for PoP's sidekick, Elika. Jade being, of course, the heroine of Beyond Good & Evil. Always wondered what she'd look like without freaky alien lipstick all over her face! Jade from Beyond Good & Evil skin unlocked by completing Prince of Persia [Destructoid]

Not news

When EVE Online Textures Go Wrong

Hey, making massively multiplayer online games is difficult. Sometimes things slip through the cracks. But that doesn't mean we can't poke fun at EVE Online when it accidentally snatches the totally wrong texture from the hard-drive.

Seems EVE Online likes to grab images of the Mac OS X CPU monitor occasionally and send them into space. That giant gas cloud is a pretty good indicator of what's going on in your Activity Monitor utility at any given time. Handy, maybe, but causes serious interference with suspension of disbelief.

my god, it's full of cpu meters [Flickr via del.icio.us]

Quiet storm

Mario Kart Love Song Melts Geek Hearts

Singer-songwriter-reader Mark illustrates the best way to get into the sweatpants of the Mario Kart-loving lady in your life. We're not talking about the yarn Waluigi moustache — it's the quiet storm ballad, silly.

Mark's "Mario Kart Love Song" may be simply titled, but his ability to weave blue shell sacrifice into romantic gesture... well, he's won our hearts. This is poet laureate level shit. Oh, and ending the romantic tune with "Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-Waluigi..." was a smooth move.

Xbox Live Arcade

Castle Crashers Patch Still Coming, Still Coming

Remember back in September when The Behemoth calmed our fears about Castle Crashers' shaky online multiplayer, noting that "we’re on our way to getting this title update out"? Yeah, whatever happened to that, Behemoth?

Three months later, with patience wearing thin, the X3F guys bugged the Castle Crashers dev team who told 'em that "the update's release is definitely reaching the end of the process" but that they still can't talk about a release date. It's still in Microsoft's hands apparently.

So, hurry up and wait, again. Hopefully this will be a "Surprise! It's out!" kind of thing and not the sort of item appearing on a New Year's resolution list.

The Behemoth: Release of Castle Crashers patching nearing 'end of the process' [X3F]