jollydwarf commented on The Force Unleashed: Epic Moments And Mindless Slaughter

"I'm sure it's been brought up time and time again, but it bears repeating--just how is such a 'mess-maker' on BOTH SIDES of the battle supposed to stay a secret for more than a parsec? Oh, right...a parsec is actually a unit of distance, not time."

jollydwarf commented on Goshdangit! My NASCAR 09 Gamesave Done Blowed Up!

"People won't stop buying EA (Sports) products, by and large, because the vast majority of EA Sports consumers don't read sites like this, don't even know that they exist, and are inherently (mentally, at least) lazy mother****ers.* They're also addicts that need their 'roster update fix' of their favorite sport(s) and at this point usually have no other options. I also believe they aren't willing to divert their "Madden money", e.g., to another game in another genre, because their tastes are exceptionally limited."

jollydwarf commented on Where Does This Ghostbusters Trailer Go?

"It doesn't necessarily look great, but it sure looks like great FUN."

jollydwarf commented on Animal Crossing: City Folk Trailer, Screens, Release Date

"I would mildly chastise Nintendo for being graphically 'lazy' here, but I know that they'd never hear the end of it if they actually improved the graphics even a little from the Gamecube title. Ultimately, I'm glad they're not going to drag out the release for maximum drama and anticipation, and I'm REALLY thankful that you don't have to play as a Mii."

jollydwarf commented on Resident Evil 5 Launching March 2009

"I didn't expect it this year, anyway."

jollydwarf commented on Oh Dear: New Sonic Unleashed Trailer

"Apparently Sega is ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that "the kids" just won't accept anything less than Tortured Anti-Hero."

jollydwarf commented on Cliff Bleszinski Wants Fewer Buttons

"@Diesel_Power: Actually, as the Wii has proven, no they won't take the time to even touch a 'standard', button-infested controller."

jollydwarf commented on Amazon Shows Star Wars Battlefront III Coming To Everything Under The Sun In 2009

"Like a little kid on a summer day being told that he can have all the ice cream he wants... "YAAAAAYYYY!!!" Now THIS is a Star Wars game I can get irrationally excited about."

jollydwarf commented on EA's Steve Schnur Explains The Hype Behind The Madden Soundtrack

"Looking at the soundtrack list, I'll once again be 'unchecking' every single one of those songs. Madden + shitty frat-rock + Jimmy Kimmel's lameass show = pinnacle of entertainment for 'backwards baseball cap-wearing' mooks and frat fucks.* I don't hate sports at all, as a matter of fact I really enjoy all the major team sports, but why do so many athletes and sports fans love the shittiest music?"

jollydwarf commented on Hands-On The Force Unleashed Impressions

"There's something about the general unbridled enthusiasm for this game which doesn't set well with me."

jollydwarf commented on Suicide Girls Taps Into GTA IV Fetishism

"Suicide Girls aren't SUPPOSED to look 'perfect'."

jollydwarf commented on Blizzard Splashwatch: Final

"Concerning the Lost numbers, maybe it's not so much about what they mean for Diablo, but what Diablo means for them."

jollydwarf commented on Will Half-Life 2: Episode Three Be At E3? Valve Says 'No'

"If Episode 3 isn't out by Holiday '09, then it'd better be a full-length, 12+ hour game."

jollydwarf commented on Denis Dyack Tells Too Human Trolls "Put Up Or Shut Up"

"Denis...you can't always win."

jollydwarf commented on A Terrifying Glimpse Into The Future Of The Halo Franchise?

"By the time they'd get around to a Lego Halo game, trust me, EVERYONE will be nauseous from the rampant Legoization of just about everything else. Hell, as we speak, the jaded types are already proclaiming the gimmick D.O.A."

jollydwarf commented on Being Alan Wake Is Kinda Like Hollywood!

"Interesting."

jollydwarf commented on Soulcalibur's Secret Apprentice In Action

"Could there be a more boring, forgettable Star Wars character?"

jollydwarf commented on Kevin Garnett, NBA 2K9 Salesman Supreme

"They wrote that for him. All overwrought 'tough-guy' shilling and carnival barking aside, I'm glad to see that we're in all likelihood getting at least one more "NBA 2K" game before EA inevitably assimilates 2K, absorbs the talent from this franchise's team, and then proceeds to woefully underutilize them."