I made her watch Harold & Kumar.

ALL OF THEM.

This is exactly the same scenario I had with my girlfriend when I was trying to lose my virginity.
She could hear their comments already.

"Really, Mia. You've been here a dozen times. Couldn't you find your way?"

Surely, she would be late. She may arrive by foot, no less. Mama would not be pleased about that, leaving the old Jaguar out in the wild, unattended. But there was nothing to be done. The car was surrounded by what her 8th grade science teacher would likely call enormous cilia, a pulpous growing field of pink protuberances.

They had spread and grew the further in she drove until it became quite clear that a hasty exit was required. With a heavy sigh, Mia pushed through the vibrant flesh-like tubers and hoped that nothing popped beneath her stilettos, putting this beautiful Vuitton outfit in danger. The viscous feeling she had against her legs and gloved hands suggested that such a thing was unavoidable.

She heard the creaking of metal and glanced back to see the things envelop the car even further, crushing it against itself, pulling it down to God-knows-where. Mother will be very upset indeed.

She took another struggling few steps and then cursed out loud as a tentacle wrapped around her handbag and snatched it from her grip. Her cellphone was in there, along with an engagement ring. Armond would have been such a delightful husband, perhaps even a better father. But it was not meant to be. Today was her first outing after mourning for what felt like an entire empty, cold, tired lifetime of sadness. As if there were any other kind.

A mascara tear dripped down Mia's cheek, mind flooded with memories. Nothing to lose, she thought, and crossed her hands over her chest, falling backward.

When she awoke, it was dusk. She looked for the car but it was gone. She did not recognize this place until she spotted a light ahead, shining through a stained glass window. It shone through the bathroom of her parents' cottage, miles from where she had given up.

She exhaled through her nose, the cold showing as much, then brushed at her skirt before adjusting her shoes and stockings. Pulling her hair from its disheveled bun, she walked toward the house as if just recovering from a stumble on an icy sidewalk.

Of course it couldn't have been that easy, she thought, and never spoke of the incident to any living thing but her cat.

The movie starring Justin Timberlake with a shoe-in for MTV's "Best Couple" award is going to rule but you're apprehensive about the Muppets? THE MUPPETS? I... I are confused.
Has anyone made a blowjob joke yet?
That must've been a rough photoshoot.

"Look cute! Okay, now cuter! More cute! CUTE HARDER!"
I would love to go test this over at McCarren right now, but I'm afraid if I step outside I'll explode from the fiery sun.
It's not really hard to explain.

HIS BALLS ARE SHOWING AND WE DON'T LIKE THAT.
To be fair, you can put your dick in just about anything.

ANYTHING.
This has incredible importance to me as I was born with HORRIBLY TINY HANDS.
I wonder if it finally worked...
I can't wait for this to be poorly dubbed by one Russian dude.
Pics or it didn't happen.

Also, in response to his last quote, you go through a series of incredible events that finally clears your name. Hasn't he seen the Fugitive? Or Minority Report? Or Roger Rabbit?
I'll buy that for a dollar!

Seriously. One dollar. No more.
That's great and all, but when are we gonna get the BIONIC Six game?
Did we see the same movie?

Moreover, did you see it sober and without going into a coma of boredom?
And if there was any doubt to that, I'd point to his role in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The dude's awesome. But I keep seeing his face on every other crap direct to DVD movie that's been coming out in the last few years. It's eerie.
I'm not suggesting it's for a paycheck. Merely that she's misguidedly finding herself in the same, doomed realm of television. I'm sure someone trained in ballet and dramatic acting would occasionally want to do something a little more interesting than "monster of the week" storytelling. Maybe I'm wrong. And if that's the case, then she just has poor taste in scripts.
Well I think SOMEONE is a little overprotective of their favorite C-list action TV star.

Guess what? There's also a Bond girl curse and a Madden 2k curse and a Val Kilmer curse (seriously: that guy will star in ANYTHING) and probably an io9 curse. Summer's problem is that she (or her agent) keep pushing her to be in the same crap instead of furthering her career in something other than wannabe action TV vehicles.

And there might be a reason for that. Maybe she's not as good as all the Whedonites want her to be. It's also possible that those people are preventing her from breaking out from anything REALLY beyond the Whedonverse because you people are clinging onto her so goddamn badly, I can see your leftover claw marks. It's not your fault, I guess. It's what you do. You force someone into a cult status so they can be yours, just yours, forever and ever. Well, enjoy, but give the complaining a rest.
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