That looks suspiciously like Mike's cat Rand. HMMMMMMM
Well, Mike, here we go again.
First you get your "lazy" from me and now your dubious gift for "procrastination."
Once again, I find myself in the position of defending myself.I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
First you get your "lazy" from me and now your dubious gift for "procrastination."
Once again, I find myself in the position of defending myself.I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
Let's talk about the positives:
You got your good looks from me, as well as your amazing intellect. Ok, your father was a Mensa member, but that didn't mean he was very smart.
You got your musical gifts from me as well as your writing and artistic talent and love of all creatures, geat and small.(no that wasn't original)
You certainly developed a fine (and very necessary sense of humor)growing up under my wing.
I allowed you to be yourself...very important. I was rarely critical of you except, perhaps, the time you got that Mohawk. I'm sorry I told you you looked like a fetus, it just slipped out. I really didn't mean it.
I gave you Zoids. Trapezoids. Crapezoids. Zoids all the same.
I gave you freedom. What other Mom would be so desperate to see her son go to school that she would give guardianship to his girlfriend's mom so he could live with her family and go to school with her. I figured you'd be inspired by her Perfect Attendance and emulate that rather than encourage her to start cutting too. That's when you got the Mohawk! Right! ROTC Candy, talk about procrastination.
Ok. I have to admit that there may be cause for attributing some of your more aggravating personal habits to me, but i think that comes from our relationship in a past life, not this one. And I hope with all my heart that I was your son in that life and you were my Mom and......I think I better go to bed now. Love, Mom
Michael,
When you came in yesterday and said, "Mom, you'd better go to Kotaku", I was ready to get out my dueling swords, grab your baby book and raise hell!
When you came in yesterday and said, "Mom, you'd better go to Kotaku", I was ready to get out my dueling swords, grab your baby book and raise hell!
But when I read your words I was so surprised and moved... I knew they came straight from your heart.
I've been proud of you from the moment you drew your first breath and will be till the day I draw my last. Love,Mom
PS I have never been invited to return to your apartment to play Wii bowling again. Just thought I'd mention that.
Tears fall silently upon my keyboard as I realize that I am "banned". I hope you know that this requires a magnificent Mother's Day gift, buddy.
Tears stop suddenly and a smile gently emerges from this old wrinkly face as I remember that:
I AM LEAVING FOR A WEEK IN FLORIDA TO PLAY ALL DAY AND DRINK ALL NIGHT AND GO TO kARAOKE BARS AND PICK UP 24 YEAR OLD GUYS and lINE DANCE...AND YOU'RE NOT!
Love, Mom...no no no....no love till I am unbanned holding a really nice, expensive Mother's Day Gift!
PS You spelled banned wrong.
Excuse me! Pop put of your mother's uterus? I was there and there certainly wasn't any popping going on. I was more like a tractor pull with the doctor on one side and you, holding on for dear life on the other.
I suppose your readers should know that you greeted the world ass first. I'm not sure why it happened that way but I think it affected your sense of direction throughout your life. Work on that.
You were a really cool baby. I remember fondly how we took our morning nap and I'd sleep and you'd take all your clothes off and go out to play.
Your were a great kid, even when you spray painted your face blue...not once but twice and stole your grandmother's wallet and hid it under a log at the swim club. a criminal mind, even then!
And you were an obnoxious teen ager who started playing with those video games and dowloading porn when you were 13, when I had no idea what a computer could do. I thought the computer might provide a distraction from those blasted video games. Oh well...I remember worrying about how that stuff would all affect you later in life. Now I know!
And you turned into a wonderful Man, once again painting your face blue so you could play the part if the genie in camp Aladdin. What a sport!
Big Guy, Big Heart, Smart Mouth and all. Your are still my baby Love, Mom
Who did what and why I don't know about it? Is tha twhat you were about to type? HMMMMM...
What family disturbance, Mike? Obviously it was a real knock down drag out because I haven't heard a word about it. Of course I was out of town at the time.
Good things tend not to happen while I'm out of town.
Like the time you brought a friend home for the weekend? Nice boy. He stole my car and totaled it. You know, I was surprised to see you still there when I got back.
Or like the time your brother and sister had a shindig, consumed much alcohol and one of them, I suspect your sister, ran my car through the brick wall and into the creek... blew out all 4 tires.
Then there was the time; a repeat of the party thing. Your siblings got the dog drunk and locked him in the car? That wasn't too bad. The dog was probably high anyway ( yes I heard about that one too)and needed to take a long nap.
You know, Mike, at first I was a little put out when I realized I was left out of the drama. But now, having had time to think about it, I've spent the last 30 years trying to get the drama out of my life so I could withdraw from all the prescription drugs. I want to thank you and your sibs for not telling me. What a great Mother's Day Gift. It will stand out from all the lovely things your four will present me with this year. By the way, I have a charm bracelet you guys gave 10 years ago that only has,(sigh) 3 charms on it. Macy's is having a sale. Love. Mom.
In my opinion, Hrithik Roshan should play this part. He is amazingly strong and beautiful in Jodhaa Akbar (a must see) These other guys are "milk and cookies". Hrithik is a "fine filet, medium rare, with a hearty merlot".
Well Mike, you little ingrate. Who brought you into the world, fed you, sent you to school (when I could find you)and paid for your ROTC Candy when you ate it all and didn't have the money to pay for it yourself? Who plugged in the hole you drilled between the bedroom and the bathroom so you could spy on the cute babysitter while she was in the shower? Who just smiled with tears in her eyes when the one class you passed was the "wrong bowling course" and you didn't get credit for it. Who spent half her time rescuing your cat from you and clearing all the moldy hot dogs out of your underwear drawer? Who went to all the trouble of hiding all your Christmas Presents under your own bed because she wanted you to be surprised on Christmas and knew the on place you would never look was under that bed? Does this sound like lazy to you?
You, my dear, perfected the "Art of Laziness" all by your own little self. It was cultivated, not inherited. I find it endearing, especially now that you are not living with me anymore.
Yesterday I left your apartment with a tear in my eye, heart softened by your attention. I walked on air grateful to be able to, for once, share things you like to do. It made me feel special, Mike. Sort of like the time you gave me a half eaten bag of M$M's for Mothers' Day.
By the way...if you had put the right picture up I would have looked a lot slimmer and much younger and also been holding the control the right way.
Ahhhhh that felt good. Now that I can log in be sure that I will return. Have to go and find your baby book. Lots of material there. Love, Mom
