Kotaku

Can You Handle Five Minutes Of Let's Tap?

Former Sega man Yuji Naka's first proper game for the Wii is Let's Tap. It's really not that bad; it's actually kind of interesting, at least visually—and "Tap Runner" is damn fun. And the variety!

The latest trailer for the Prope-developed game shows off just how much stuff is packed into this thing. It may be a sensory assault on our eyes and ears, but we might be convinced to overcome our lack of coffee table upon which to lay our cardboard box controller. We'll see.

Microsoft "Cautiously Optimistic" About Its 2009

Given Microsoft's recent Black Friday sales boasting, we'd think that the Xbox 360 team's egos are severely bloated. Not so. Shane Kim says the company is, somewhat distressingly, "cautiously optimistic" about next year's sales.

Sure, Don Mattrick, senior VP of the Interactive Entertainment Business at Microsoft, said the same thing in the Black Friday statement. But we imagined the reality of it all peppered with plenty of "in your face!" finger pointing and corporate chest bumps.

Mr. Kim isn't counting on 2008-style growth for the Xbox 360, adding "Who knows, maybe flat performance will be considered a remarkable achievement." Ugh. How are we going to make engrossing headlines out of "flat performance," Shane?

Microsoft cautiously optimistic about Xbox sales [Reuters]

Deep, Crisp And Even - Stoked Screens

These screens from Bongfish Interactive's open-world snowboarding game Stoked do their best to show off the terrain and character models, but obviously can't really do justice to the game's main USP - the dynamic weather system.

Nice shots, though. As ever, pinches of salt should be kept within easy reach but if those are really in-game then this could be one to watch.

Cracked Picks The Six Most "Retarded" Consoles

You may not agree with Cracked's word choices to describe these lame duck consoles, but it's hard to argue with their picks. I mean, the Supergrafx is on the list—and it had five games. Five!

But we could take issue with the inclusion of nifty little Vectrex, the vector graphics-only console released in 1982. If we were making the list, we'd put the idiotic, headache-inducing Virtual Boy in its place, but maybe that's too obvious of a choice. This is why we're so bad at lists!

If you want to feel good about your console purchases, it's an uplifting read.

The 6 Most Retarded Gaming Consoles Ever Released [Cracked]

Valve Releases Ten Years Of Amazing Sales Figures

Half-Life, the first-person shooter that put Valve on the map, has sold, on average, almost a million copies each year since its release in 1998. It's still the company's best seller—and that's just at retail.

But the figures for Valve's other games — which similarly don't include games sold via Steam — Counter-Strike, The Orange Box, Half-Life 2 and more, are just as impressive. According to a report from Gamasutra, the original Half-Life has amassed 9.3 million sales over the past decade. The sequel, released just four years ago alongside its digital distribution platform, added another 6.5 million to Valve's retail sales. More »

Blizzard Bringing Massive Ads To Battle.net

In-game advertising group Massive announced it has signed with Blizzard Entertainment today, feeding the Starcraft and Diablo publisher ads through its Battle.net service. But don't expect to see any actual ads in those games.

Blizzard COO Paul Sams put the fire out before it started, stating in the press release, “This partnership does not include in-game advertising, as Massive understands and respects our stance against advertising that might detract from gameplay or offend our players.” That's the way you do it — I mean, no one wants to be distracted by American Apparel ads while trying to fend off a Zerg swarm.

The full press release, announcing the contractual marriage between the World of Warcraft developer and Massive, is after this. More »

What Are The Most Downloaded iPhone Games?

Resistance is Futile

To: Ash
From: Crecente
Re: Is Anyone Else Having Crap Luck With Firefox Crashes?

Oh man, I'm about to move over to Chrome or something. Firefox has become a HUGE resource hog lately. I have to restart it several times a day. So annoying. It's like someone removing my desk a couple of times a day while I'm working. I can't function in this job without a browser.

So my dad just left to fly back to Florida. He spent a big chunk of his time playing Resistance 2 while he was here. I think he started playing it because I wanted him to check out the co-op multiplayer with me. I haven't really had much time to devote to co-op Resistance 2 since I previewed it, thanks to the rush of games hitting lately.

Anyway, he seems to be enjoying it though he keeps getting stuck on levels because he forgets to kill everything or find a trigger than opens the next level. I don't think it's really as much as issue with Resistance 2 as it is with my dad, but it's probably something that developers should look at more closely. As more non-gamers get into gaming, they're going to have to really focus on making sure they, well, idiot-proof their games.

What you missed
Custom Headcrab Zombie Lovingly Detailed in Gore
UK:Resistance Breaks Up With Sonic
Ghostbusters – What’s Different on the Wii
Nintendo Sends Game to Journos With Racial Epithet Surprise
Fable II Getting Massive Dose Of Bug Spray
LocoRoco 2 Review: Arming The Mui Mui
Activision: Next Tony Hawk Is Hands-Free, New Bond, Call of Duty Due 2009
Nintendo Responds To Animal Crossing Racial Epithet Issue, Blames Internet

Party For Child's Play, Maybe Win Awesome Brick Bald Bull

We're a week away from the second annual Denver Funde Razor.

As with last year's, this year's will feature a bevy of beautiful door prizes made up of the schwag sent my way from companies over the year. Also we've got a number of pretty amazing donations that we'll be handing out to lucky winners.

Among the list? A still-in-the-box retail Xbox 360, a Gears of War Zune and these, these magnificent LEGO creations. These amazing LEGO designs come from Cliff and company over at NetDevil who, between bouts of designing LEGO Universe, managed to find time to create 8-bit art for charity.

Bald Bull and Sonic on the jump. I'll be posting a mega picture of all of the giveaway goodies early next week, so stay tuned.

If you plan on coming to any of the events, hit the details up here. More »

I Made This. You Play This. We Are Enemies

There are times when just the unvarnished title of a game will make a good headline for a blog post and this is one of those times.

I Made This.. is the kind of platform game that you play inside your head while hopped up on over-the-counter cough remedies during a 3-day fever. It's like someone tried to make schizophrenia into a flash game and is just the right side of incomprehensible. As the 'instructions' say, "Remember, 'figuring out' is for control centred hedonists and sharks with bees for hair."

Guide your... round thing around levels seemingly constructed from printouts of popular web pages (YouTube, Google, Yahoo! and Fark all get a look in - no Kotaku so far, though) that have been cut up, glued together in a twisted collage and scrawled over in ballpoint pen. As you move to the various 'goal' sprites to progress you will trigger alarming popups, Burroughsian cut-up poetry and flashing slogans. It's curiously compelling - I'm even starting to worry that there might be a plot.

I Made This. You Play This. We Are Enemies [via Waxy]