So many conflicting emotions in one story. Uwe Boll, while in Cannes peddling his latest masterpieces, Far Cry and Postal, has announced that he is looking to start shooting this summer on the sequel to 2005's Alone In The Dark, which retells the story of Edward Carnby from the viewpoint of someone with no idea who the hell he is. Knowing Boll I am assuming it will take place in Antarctica during mid-summer and be subtitled "This Time It's Light."

I know what you're thinking. Why god, why? Apparently someone thought it would be funny to buy the movie as a gag gift on DVD. 1.1 million somebodies. Guys, seriously. I know it was you. Next time just buy one and we'll set up a mailing list or something to pass it around. Don't encourage him.

The good news is that Boll is far too busy to handle the project himself, and will be handing it off to an as-of-yet unnamed director. The bad news is Boll is too busy? Boll should never be too busy. He should be desperately trying to secure licenses from belligerent game companies. Not too busy. Never too busy. Hold me, I'm scared. Michael Fahey

Uwe Boll game for $7.5m horror sequel [Screen Daily]