If I may speak hyperbolically, there is nothing I want more in this life than a quality action figure of the Guardians of the Galaxy's anthropomorphic raccoon person. Judging by the showing at Toy Fair, this is going to be my year.

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Just look at that furry little bastard up there, firing away. That's Hasbro's Big Blastin' Rocket Raccoon, eight inches of rotating barrels and catch-phrases.

He's hitting stores in July, as is the case with most of Hasbro's Guardians goodies. Goodies like this little guy right here.

How about that? I don't know which line he is from. Hasbro's images call him Galactic Battlers Rocket Raccoon. It really doesn't matter. I shall have him.

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Oh, and then there is this.

That's the Rocket Raccoon Action Mask. It costs $20. The mouth, eyebrows and ears move. Will I wear it in bed with my wife? That's a rude question and I am offended you would ask it.

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Let's just say I wouldn't take it off.

What else? There's a Titan Hero series figure for $9.99. No pictures for that one, but it sounds large-ish. Sold.

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What's this?

Just a picture of a raccoon from the internet, you say? Doesn't matter, still buying it.

Meanwhile, over at Comics Alliance...

D'AWWWWWW.

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What's the point? The point is that if I don't have a room filled with Rocket Raccoon merchandise — including Halloween costumes for my children (the mask doesn't count, sicko) — then the toy-producing industry has once again gravely underestimated the depth of my wallet when it comes to such things.