I know you've been worried. You've been keeping your phone in that heavily-padded case in a locked lead box under your bed. Your iPad is in a safe, and not for its own protection. You've got handcuffs for your Nexus 7, and not the kinky kind. Well do not worry, my friends. None of this week's gaming apps will kill you.
That's not to say they don't want to kill you. It's not even really a want, more of a compulsion. Kind of like — what's that movie where the kids cheat death and he kills them off one-by-one? Oh yeah, it's like Footloose. Last week you were supposed to die, but I warned you, and now 80s Kevin Bacon is angry, and he's got death on speed dial.