Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Kotaku's Photo-Manipulation Brigade are the most magical of people. I give them an image of a creature with an enormous tongue, and not one of the entries in this week's contest was as inappropriate as I feared things might get. Well, except the one.

uscg_pa takes home this week's top honors, with his unseasonably innocent tongue-twist on the beloved classic A Christmas Story. I swear to god the winners of these things won't all be related to old movies. For example, it came down to uscg_pa's and this one, from Orionsangel:

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Miley might have won, if she didn't creep me the hell out every time I looked at her. Ew ew ew, scroll, scroll.

That's not to say the rest of this week's featured entries weren't as good. I mean, I guess it is saying that, but not in an overtly mean-spirited way. What I am trying to say is I love you guys. On with the rest of the show!

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Disbala — for Kiss me once.

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

sciteach — for tongue tattoos

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Brandon0151 — for Kiss me twice

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Hundredgunner -- for slipping the tongue

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Conkyd — for promoting thoughtful discussion

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Velthaertirden — for come on pretty baby, Kiss me deadly

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

durroth — for being more than 8,999

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Nerdfatha — for being that guy

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

spartanwarrior — for teaching us how to Greninja

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

alebblox — for getting away from her, you bitch

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

mulled0220 — for a new Sonic who makes sense

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Murasume -- for the ponies, even if ew

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

teddyballgamer — for Nike Air

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

veeeSix — for not stabbing me in the shower

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Andrew Colby — for the jelly babies

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Okami — for Shinobi

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Kenneth — for being prepared for, you know

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Zhesty — for the let down

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

Sylvers — for the Greninja with cheese

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

arniejolt — for not breaking stride

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Ninja Tongue-Twister: The Winners!

And uscg_pa wins — for the best use for a tongue outside of other uses for a tongue.

Grats to all this week's winners! If your entry didn't make it, take comfort in the fact that I am exhausted and on the verge of collapse. To bed, to dream of other 'Shop Contests!