Remember the 1990s? It was a wonderful time, a time when Microsoft would pay Jennifer Aniston to beat a child actor at video games, all in the service of helping explain how to use Windows 95.
We've actually written about this video before, in which Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry, high on Friends fame, signed on to act in an instructional video for Windows 95. But when The Atlantic re-posted it a couple days ago, describing it as "The Most 90s Thing That Could Ever Exist," I decided to actually watch the whole thing.
And that brought me to the glorious bit at the 25-minute mark, when one Mr. "Joystick Johnny" enters the scene.
You know Joystick Johnny, right? "The most feared video game warrior in the territory?" Well, he has a challenge for our friends Rachel and Chandler: Who can beat him at 3D Pinball? Ms. Aniston accepts his challenge.
"A GIRL??" he says, mugging so hard for the camera that I worry his face is going to fall off. "Har-de-har-har."
The rest, as they say, is history. Increasingly ancient, uncomfortably dorky history.
If you don't have anything else to do, stick around for the bit afterward, where everyone finally "uses the brown floppies" and things get trippy, man. And hey, stay around a while longer if you actually want to have a helpful disembodied voice explain how to use Windows 95.