​Infamous: Second Son's Protesters Are Terrible At Protesting

It can't be easy, being an innocent civilian in the world of Infamous: Second Son. The government has put your city on lockdown, everyone's suspected of terrorism, and a guy with superpowers just blew up your car. It's enough to make you want to take to the streets and protest.

That's just what a group of Seattle residents are doing in the game—they've formed a few small groups, made some signs, and started street rallies to voice their disapproval. They've also written some chants, to let the world know why they're protesting.

Their chants are terrible.

It's never really addressed what these people hope to accomplish by endlessly standing out in the mostly deserted streets chanting, but I guess that's not really the point—there were protesters in past Infamous games, and there are protesters in this one, dang it!

In the game, players who choose the "evil" morality path can attack protesters to earn evil karma and further their descent into super-villainhood. I'm playing the good path, so I mostly just ignore them.

Still, every time I go zooming by a gaggle of protesters, I hear some chant or another. Even in passing, the chants sounded convoluted and weird. Eventually I decided to stop and really listen to what they were saying. I found a strange and surprisingly varied collection of perfectly rehearsed, consistently awful chants.

I wrote out all the ones I've heard and have included a couple of videos of the chants in question that you can watch, if you want. There is something special about hearing these clunkers performed by actual people.

Here we go. Enjoy:

Bio-Terrorists, it's them or us!
Bio-terrorists, it's them or us!

Put bio-terrorists in their place!
Six feet under!

Just say no / to narcotics!
Just say no / to narcotics!

Stone the stoners!
Stone the Stoners!

Get high on god! Get high on god!

Drugs are for thugs! Drugs are for thugs!

Mutants wanna kill you, beat 'em to the punch!
Mutants wanna kill you, beat 'em to the punch!

Superpowers, the death of us all!
Superpowers, the death of us all!

Send the scum / to kingdom come!
Send the scum / to kingdom come!

Smoke: yes! Toke: no!
Smoke: yes! Toke: no!

Bio-terrorism's anti-American!
Bio-terrorism's anti-American!

Trust the DUPs, not the Bio-Ts!
Trust the DUPs, not the Bio-Ts!

Addicts and mutants, kill two birds with one stone!
Addicts and mutants, kill two birds with one stone!

Drug youth is wasted youth!
Drug youth is wasted youth!

Drugs and bio-terrorists, they both kill!
Drugs and bio-terrorists, they both kill!

What are you afraid of? Get tested!
What are you afraid of? Get tested!

Better dead than a pothead!
Better dead than a pothead!

See a dealer? Be a squealer!
See a dealer? Be a squealer!

Pot is the gateway to bio-terrorism!
Pot is the gateway to bio-terrorism!

Thoughts:

  • Some of these are rhythmically interesting, if awkward - check out the three-bar phrase on the "six feet under!" one. Ambitious!
  • Most of the chants are a rhythmic mess - there are too many syllables most of the time, and I couldn't understand half of them until I'd listened closely. Not great for getting your message across!
  • I'm going to say that the phrase "Bio-terrorist" just doesn't lend itself to this kind of chant. Which I guess is why they swap out "mutant" in some chants.
  • It's very enjoyable how the protesters seem to be attempting to protest both 1) Bio-terrorists/mutants and 2) drugs, at the same time. Pick a topic, guys.
  • In particular, these folks seem to be very anti-cannabis. "Pot is a gateway drug to bio-terrorism?" I'd allow that it's a gateway drug to snacks and naps, but I'm not convinced it's a gateway to having superpowers.
  • "Stone the stoners?" Jeez guys, it's okay to bag on stoners but must we stone them to death?
  • I like how many of the protesters are carrying placards with photos of Fetch, a superpowered conduit (and former drug-addict) in the game. Where did they get that picture? How do they all have the same sign? Oh, whatever.
  • The "Get Tested" one is pretty good, both rhythmically and thematically. I like how they're using the language of AIDS testing to reference other real-world events. I also like how they had a ton of different voice-actors take turns shouting "What are you afraid of?"
  • The "Addicts and Mutants" one is just ridiculous. These people are bloodthirsty! You should get good karma points for breaking up their rally.

I'm aware that I'm over-analyzing a relatively tiny detail in a very large game. But I love this kind of stuff, and think that when games get details like these right, it can be a lot of fun. And heck, even when they get them wrong, it's still a good time.

Maybe one day, these protesters will get what they want: A shining, perfect Seattle, free from the blight of superpowers, where everyone gets along and absolutely no one smokes pot. Ever. Under threat of death.