You kids get off of my lawn! Damn, that really does feel good. I turned 40 on Wednesday, so excuse me if I didn't play as many gaming apps this week as you young people did. These old eyes aren't what they used to be.
Okay, not an excuse. If anything I should be playing more apps, what with all the time sitting out on the back porch (we don't have a front porch), rocking back and forth in my chair and watching the weather. Or The Weather Channel app.
Hell, technically old men don't even have to go outside anymore. In a few years I'll be downloading an app that delivers the same experience as walking outside and sweeping the leaves out of the driveway every 15 minutes, without having to deal with any whippersnappers. Some would argue that app is already here several times over.
But it's none of this week's apps. These are spritely, virile games, filled with action and adventure and carefully considered strategy and wisdom — all hallmarks of a newer generation, except for the second two.
Back in my day we would have skipped the first few paragraphs and gone straight to...
What We Played This Week
The weekly Facebook tournament spills over onto Android and iOS, where the Angry Birds series has been just a little bit popular. A tad.
Zoombies: Animales de la Muerte! - iOS - $2.99
Normally I take my own screens, but then normally I charge my iPad. Zoombies is another fresh game from High Voltage Software, who've been doing some great things on mobile lately. Take this, for instance — zombie animals. Why aren't there more zombie animals?
Candymeleon - iOS - Free
See, he's a chameleon, but he eats candy! CANDYMELEON! He's adorable, it's mindless fun, and it's free. I like that combination.
Dark Avenger - iOS - Free
The free-to-play Diablo clone with the amazingly generic name. Nice polish, good action, wildly derivative.
Eclipse: New Dawn for the Galaxy - iOS - $6.99
The incredibly complicated board game is now an incredibly complicated mobile game. An amazing digital translation, but you've got to be sharp and patient to win.
LEGO Star Wars: the Yoda Chronicles - iOS - Free
Star Wars is great. LEGO is great. The mini-games here? Not so great, but LEGO. Also, Star Wars.
Rocket Patrol - iOS - Free
A neat little fast-paced card game about the race across space. One of those quick-and-dirty affairs, where the players must choose to drop a travel card or drop a screw-with-your-opponent card.