Growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, I remember being awed at when the TV specials based on the Guinness Book of World Records would show up on network TV. I'd see really big things! Really small things! Weird life forms out of 1950s monster comics! A guy who'd never cut his fingernails, like, ever! One after another, images and feats that seemed otherworldly burned themselves into my brain. That's what comes to mind when I see the words "Guinness" and "World Records". Sadly, the Gamer's Edition of the Guinness World Record franchise doesn't engender the same kinds of thrills.

Part of it's because actual living breathing human beings are in short supply in this book. Oh, they're there, but wind up shuttled into smaller blurbs and into an end-of-book appendix. Mostly, Guinness World Records 2012 Gamer's Edition is a compendium of company achievement or intellectual property achievement, sidelining the awe-inspiring feats of endurance that real-life gamers do.

Some of these things are so obviously set up as PR stunts ahead of time, as opposed to cool acts of skill or perseverance that the people do just to see if they can. Too many entries come off as overly specific, lodged in categories created specifically engineered to say that a title made it into in the Guinness Book. Here's one: "First Country Music-Themed Dancing Game." That goes to GameMill's Country Dance, which is as far as I can tell is the only (?) country-music-themed dancing game. Even if it's not, why is its mere existence worthy of a GWR nod? Gamer's Edition 2012 is rife with this kind of pandering.

When reached for comment, the powers-that-be at Guinness World Records had this to say:

"The Guinness World Records 2012 Gamer's Edition recognizes video game records both large and small, from all corners of the industry. As the chronicler of all things superlative, it's up to us to diligently record all achievements in the interactive world to stimulate discussion and make sure we produce a book that is as comprehensive as possible. As with previous editions, this year's book also expands beyond records to include facts, trivia, interviews and features designed to engage all kinds of gaming fans."

Qualifying statements aside, take a look at the dubious accomplishments that made it into Guinness World Records 2012 Gamer's Edition.