Kotaku
A vast armada of women has invaded gaming. Where once we heard over Teamspeak the confident bluster of the male warrior, now our ears are assailed by the shrill whinging of a female in the midst of her monthly ovum flushing. Where once we casually discussed in guild chat bitch fucking and the worldwide conspiracy against women, now we pretend to have "feelings" because we are cuckolded for being "insensitive."
And it's getting worse! With great smugness, Jane over at Chilly Hollow wrote us, linking us this article that states that women are the dominant online gamers. "Eliza and I outnumber you," she wrote.
Well, first of all, at five bills, Eliza outnumbers most solar systems. Second of all, it appears that you only outnumber men if you count endless hours spent on the free Flash version of Bejeweled as "online gaming." Thirdly: we don't care if you outnumber us as long as you're not adverse to taking off your top. And finally: you count Faith Naked amongst your numbers, which pretty much drops your numeric and intellectual superiority a few dozen percentile points.
So don't get too smug, ladies. As Sean Connery famously slurred, "Shometimesh a woman jush needsh a little shlap." And my aching hand is poised.
Comments
nice pic there flor!
i'd imagine you're gonna get another ass kicking there?
is she a booth babe? man crackilny awesome! hahaha!
did you try and ask if she has any "tilt" features of her own? rowr!
There are no girls on the internet.
It is a good thing faith is already boycotting the site and thus will not read that comment. Wait... actually if she does say anything that means her or someone she knows that is SUPPOSED to be boycotting kotaku has screwed up. ... well played.
I'm totally going to get my ass kicked, but it's all in good fun. Honestly, the more girls in gaming, the better. I love girls.
I have those same pants
YAY for the girls that are gaming, it's about time that there were more of us, girl gamers!!
The problem with that pic is that, yeah she does look hot, buuut she also looks like shes 12...
Boy oh boy, Florian. It's a good thing that Eliza loves you or something. But you should onsider getting another couch to sleep on; you must be wearing out the one you've got.
^_^
"Sensitivity.
Most people learn about it.
Florian did not."
hmm maybe you (florian) should say sorry to faith naked the naughty way... maybe she'd like that.
yeah me too i love girls! especially when they're getting me my morning coffee and trying to impress me with backflips and slutty lingerie.
Saw the title, immediately knew it was Florian. Always a funny read, but only if you realize he's just having fun.
Anyway, boobs rule.
That is not the way to make up with Faith lol.
As sexist as this may come off as, I think that the "there are more girl gamers then guys" things are WAY misleading.
Im sorry, but about 70% of the female gaming population currently resides in Second Life and other games of similar female attraction.
Sure its games, but its like saying there are more female workers in x city. When infact most are just working on some street corner or under some overpass.
Seriously where did you get that pic of my girlfriend?
"Active gamers played an average of 14 hours a week on game consoles and 17 hours on handheld devices like the PlayStation Portable, according to the survey."
like the Playstation Portable? you mean they play their Nintendo DS.
hahaha you made a joke about beating women
......
Needs more ass cleavage.
Seriously, that looks remarkably like my ex.
That's funny Florian, I was getting the impression that you like the opposite. :-P
Kidding, but yeah, very risque.
Girls generally avoid games because they're cultured to do so. They play a lot of those free online games, and even pay for some of them, because they can say they're primarily just toiling in some sort of distraction. Then there are the MMORPGs, but they're not necessarily doing quests or anything -- it's a weird social networking experiment disguised as a game. They're not playing those games. They're living lives they can't obtain with their own effort.
WAIT, there are girls who actually play games. They're actually pretty decent at them, but then the girls are usually antisocial and bitchy.
You can't win either way. I'm tired of this being a male-oriented hobby, but the antisocial ones make me think that chicks should stay away from my controllers.
More women gamers as men? LIES! Everybody knows that there is no women in ther internets! (Just as Toneman already pointed out)
Now, seriously, everybody knows that girls only play Bejeweled and Second Live with some exceptions that play normal games so they can't be really counted as gamers. Oh, and I hope that someday there are more women gamers then men, it would certainly be nice since you could call them to play some deathmatch if you know what i mean. ;P
If there are more gamer girls that guys then how come my 1337 WarCraft 3 skills *still* don't net me any chicks?
Where once we casually discussed in guild chat bitch fucking and the worldwide conspiracy against women, now we pretend to have "feelings" because we are cuckolded for being "insensitive."
Coffee out the nose on that one, but it was worth it!
I do think it is misleading when they include Flash games and even non-N-Gage cell phone games in with consoles and handhelds. Do they count the mind games my wife plays via email?
On the one hand, I spend a TON on gaming every month, but on the other hand, I don't game for 31 hours a week either. (14 console hours plus 17 handheld hours.)
WTB: [Girl in picture] Offering [2GP] PST.
So... when are they going to get on some real games? Every online game that I have ever played is a sausage fest... Come to think of it, I have yet in all of my 10+ years of gaming to hear a real woman's voice online. (Squealy little 10 year old boys dont count.)
God I feel pathetic for knowing which pornstar that is.
Am I the only person who thinks she's sitting way too close to the television set?
Also, I'll agree that a large percentage of "gaming girls" are in Second Life... but Second Life isn't really a "game" and I'm pretty sure that SL's stats aren't being used in these "girl gamer" stats. Even if they were, it would be such an outlier that they couldn't be used. (At least, I think that's what the stats class in college taught me.)
werk: share that knowledge, please.
Ha! First of all, I'm a woman and I don't really care if you guys wanna discuss...how was it put, 'bitch fucking.' I think it's more insulting when you curb your language around me. And I would like to point out to GospelX, I am neither antisocial nor bitchy. But I do like the games. :)
Flor:
Raven Riley
What game is she playing?
Flor: Raven Riley.
Do I win a PS3 for that contribution?
I'm all for women in gaming, but playing solitaire and minesweeper doesn't make you a gamer. That's like saying I play Madden so that makes me a football player.
Rainbox Six Three? It's def an old school Xbox game
...
I think I'm offended.
Seriously, your 'just kidding' disclaimer in your name is EASILY overlooked.
-ColbyWolf-
Girl Gamer. No Bejewled, please.
-Oliver
She's playing Halo 2 multiplayer, the map is Sanctuary.
Let it be said once and for all time: Chicks dig Master Chief.
girls that play games? not that big of a deal to me...so long as they know how to play. altho i'm not sure how i would feel if i got fragged by some 39 year old women in Halo, or Doom, or COunter Strike...or any game....
Nah, Check the HUD. Thats definitely Halo 2 and shes she only holding one SMG. There goes her credibility out the window...
Um...also, I would like to note that I don't play solitaire or minesweeper. I am guilty of playing WoW, which I loosely would classify as a game. But I also enjoy Burnout, Halo, GTA, Dead Rising, Bully...and on and on. Just cause we're not speaking up (c'mon ladies...) doesn't mean we're not real gamers. So there.
@scazza:
what city do you live in, where the majority of female workers are sex workers? must make it hard to find a date that you don't have to hire. :P
@Raynre Valence:
i'm a girl, i play "real games" (ie non-casual games like god of war, okami, dragon quest viii, resident evil, etc), but i don't play online precisely *because* it's such a "sausage fest". it's just not fun to go online and use voice, only to get hit with "OMG! UR girl! send pic!!" over and over. also, if i wanted to hear 12 year olds call each other "faggot" every 10 seconds i would have become a junior high teacher.
i do, however, detest sports games. if that makes me a typical girl gamer and not "hardcore" then so be it. i'm a gamer because i like to play games, not because i care if other gamers think i'm hardcore.
I'm so subscribing to the "i always knew florian was a misogynist, sexist bastard" tag. I can't wait for the next installment.
"womens be thinking too much."
-ike turner
(via garrett morris, snl)
I like the kitchen. I have many lady fangirls who keep asking me to come over to their kitchens and help them to cook some of my meals.
Video games never got me any ladies.
...that's why when I played Tiger Woods on XBL and started chatting every other player was like "ZOMG a real girl!"
...or saying you play Madden and that makes you a gamer
Nice coinslot.
http://disloyal.org/?show=801
That pic is of raven riley just thought id let yall know.
I'm staying outta this one folks.
I cannot believe there is only one entry under the I always knew Florian was a misogynist, sexist bastard tag. I think I see a similar sentence under nearly every one of his posts, give or take a few words.
By the way, as a lady myself, I do enjoy games outside the real of Bejeweled, the Sims, and Second Life. (All of which I've never played ever. Except SimCity, once, on Windows 3.1. That was horrible. Tornadoes, everywhere.) Anyway, if I don't play games, why the hell do you think I read and post on Kotaku?