When Mark Wilson and I had conflicting E3 impressions on Insomniac Games' Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction, we decided to hash it out online. What we hoped to resolve, through vague impressions, was exactly how awesome the PLAYSTATION 3 sequel was. Totally awesome? Certifiably awesome? Better than an Awesome Blossom? In our first e-mail exchange, in which we ultimately agree on exactly the same thing, Mark and I do our best to express how unquestionably awesome the game will be, based on our E3 reactions, when it ships later this year.

To: Michael McWhertor
From: Mark Wilson
Date: July 13, 2007
Re: Awesome-off

Michael.

It is just not humanly possible that you thought Ratchet & Clank was more awesome than I did. Let's call it a limit of your genetic code - a chromosomal thing - nothing personal. My flesh, from ribosome to stray hair, has been built to fully appreciate this little weapon called the disco ball. Did you notice it creating a a Bollywood musical with full choreography and proper staging?

Did you notice that there are enemies that are big robots, controlled by fish? These fish flop on the ground when the robots are destroyed, but even these suffocating fish dance when that glorious jukebox from the heavens does its thing. It's awesome, indeed. Really awesome.

Yours in awesome,
Mark

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To: Mark Wilson
From: Michael McWhertor
Date: July 13, 2007
Re: Burn, Bollywood, Burn

Mark.

Glad to see you're on board with the red-lining levels of awesome that Insomniac seems to have achieved with the game. Yes, of course I noticed the choreographed dancing. It reminded me of the arcade version of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Bittersweet, those memories.

On topic, I'm afraid that you're neglecting Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction's intrinsic appeal to the gut. While you may be more concerned with a "whole body" general feeling of awesomeness, I trust my gut. My gut says "Ratchet & Clank is awesome." I suppose some of the gaming press who got hands on time with the game at E3 are using their "brains" to go through a list of features, technical and visual achievements, and blah blah blah. E3 was dull enough as it was, we don't need a bunch of bullet points listing this and that. What are we? Press release processors?

Sure, the game has giant robots, fish controlling robots and other types of robots, but there's a very human side to how awesome R&CF will be. Maybe we should focus on that? Your cold, calculating, quantitative awesome-checking is kind of a drag.

I guess what I'm getting at is that Ratchet & Clank Future is as much of a game as it is a Turing Test. Supposing that, I have concluded that you are a robot and you must be destroyed with an oversized wrench.

Cheers,
Michael

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To: Michael McWhertor
From: Mark Wilson
Date: July 14, 2007
Re: 1001011000111001101101100111010110010011010010

...computing response...Michael, your attacks on my body are uncalled for. But I laugh nonetheless, as your accusations are just a red herring for substance. And I challenge you to name ONE INSTANCE where a press release has used the word "awesome." Scratch that.

Your mighty "gut" is hardly a quantifiable measurement of love. Because when you love something, as with Ratchet & Clank, you appreciate every little nuance of it. As my eyes devoured the "Toy Story" quality graphics for which we've long been...longing, I appreciated the millions of little nuances Insomniac fit into the background. For some reason there is a meteor shower going on at all times over the horizon. Most games would scoff at superfluous falling rocks from space, but not Tools of Destruction! They run a victory lap around my heart [read: not gut] by wasting resources with small touches that few see outside of Hollywood.

I have concluded that your "gut" reaction is nothing more than a need for a good burping, and I believe a "booya!" is in order to quantify how my arguments are kicking your "butt."

Shutting down,
Mark

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To: Mark Wilson
From: Michael McWhertor
Date: July 16, 2007
Re: W.I.L.S.O.N. Mk XXVI

Mark,

"Booya"? My suspicions that you've been replaced by the Wilson 9000 are confirmed. No human being would want something like that in print. And "Toy Story graphics?" Did you harvest this quote while assimilating some analysts, you silicon abomination?

While we can't agree necessarily on how precisely awesome Ratchet & Clank Future is, we can agree that the attention to detail makes one further appreciate the amount of work that the team has put into the game. Seeing an appropriate amount of bloom lighting was not only a rarity at E3, it made the environments feel surprisingly real, combining retro styling with futuristic wonder. Even when absurdly rail sliding away from whatever cartoonish explosion I can't even remember escaping from because I was doing my best not to vomit a rainbow, with a bazillion things going on in the background, I felt as if I were just pleasantly existing in some thrill ride of a world.

Did we talk about the draw distances that seem to go on for days?

Maybe we're thinking about this too hard (a Kotaku first!). Ratchet & Clank Future is the "blue sky in games" answer to just about every question we've been asking this generation's action games. Sure, Clank may be bald, but Ratchet's got hair.

And that's awesome.

Say, did you know about the "RPG lite" upgrades in the game?

Sincerely (you probably don't understand, machine man),
Michael

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To: Michael McWhertor
From: Mark Wilson
Date: July 16, 2007
Re: *I* will work more hours to purchase one.

Michael, Michael, Michael.

I wish I knew your middle name to chastise you further. The beauty of the "Toy Story graphics" line is that be you analyst, PR pundit, fanboy or jaded videogame writer with a tad too much facial hair, you've been eagerly waiting for this perfectly crafted description to come to fruition. Your haircut may be too cool for "Toy Story" propaganda, but you, certainly, are not.

Though, yes, R&C Future is an answer to everything we've wondered about next-gen action and the PS3...and it's delivered more than this jaded writer thought possible.

As for the "RPG lite" elements - I think you may be blaspheming the new skill tree weapon upgrades. Taking a cue from Diablo II, guns find themselves at a fork in the road and must specialize accordingly. It's the age old debate of 'should I be Sylvester Stallone or Bruce Willis?' packaged cleanly into Penguin Gun form. But since you can max out both directions of each branch, one can be Stallone AND Willis, better known as totally-incredible-i-just-peed-a-bit-don't-judge-me-AWESOME.

Is that what you were referring to? Or was it the space combat that Insomniac didn't deem you awesome enough to witness? (Note: I know your comment had nothing to do with the space combat and was just being an a-hole.)

Sincerelyer,
Mark

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To: Mark Wilson
From: Michael McWhertor
Date: July 17, 2007
Re: Diet of Doubletree Guest Suites

Okay, Mark. No one's reading at this point. We'll just have to agree to disagree on who's better at accurately gauging how awesome Ratchet & Clank Future is. I'll instead agree with myself that I am more suited to judge the game's inherent greatness, despite having never actually played a game in the series before. Yes, it's true. Some dude whose name was lost near the bottom of this Pabst Blue Ribbon had to tell me what a jump pad was. Regardless of my "fresh perspective" on the series, I feel genuinely qualified to pass judgment on the game's totally rad graphics, sexy animation and sugar sweet controls.

Invoking the name of Diablo II was a bold move, but I admire your balls. They must have great heft. Hopefully, given your testicular fortitude, our readers have been convinced.

Basically, any PLAYSTATION 3 owner who doesn't get this game is banned. From life.

Good night,
Michael

P.S. It's "Ward." Yes, I know.

Final Judgment: AWESOME.

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New E3-era screenshots of the game are in our gallery below. They'll wash away that icky reading sensation.

(Sincere apologies to Messrs. Croal and Totilo for trivializing their format.)

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