Okay, Steven Spielberg might have made some rubbish in his day (1941, anyone?), but it's still Steven Spielberg making crap. Conversely, chowderhead Uwe Boll has made nothing but crap, and his crap is worse than anything conceivable by the human mind.

My fellow Texan Harry Knowles over at Ain't-It-Cool had the unfortunate luck of not only meeting Uwe Boll, but having to sit through his latest cinematic diarrhea, BloodRayne. Harry writes:

What is Uwe Boll like? Well, at the screening last night he was charming, warm, funny, frank and hilarious. But then, I've often held that really bad filmmakers had to be charming as hell, otherwise, how could they get the money with which to victimize audiences?

During the filming of BloodRayne, Uwe said that Michael Madsen (Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs) was drunk everyday, and that Ben Kingsley refused to shoot scenes with him. Dr. Boll then went on to explain that it didn't matter what actor you put in the roles, just as long as they are famous enough to attract foreign investors. ("Casting hasn't been this bad since John Wayne played Genghis Khan," writes Harry.) Chowderhead then advised to cast yer movie at the last minute, because you can get great names as suddenly people's schedules open up. BloodRayne's cast was assembled a mere two weeks before cameras started rolling.

To get the proper T&A, Boll actually hired real Romanian Mafia owned "whores" for the Eastern-European shot film. "They were better than actors," the chowderhead says. "We looked for local Romanian actresses, but there they are all from the theater and act broadly. For 150 euro a piece, the whores would be naked and do as they were told. It was better."

After the film, Harry talked with the hack outside the Paramount Theater. Uwe began criticizing Spielberg's War of the Worlds. "He really hated the end of the film," writes Harry. "This was amazing. There was just an amazing sense that this was Uwe Boll presuming to gripe about Spielberg."

Apparently in Uwe's universe, people wear hamburgers on their heads and eat shoes. This man is insane.

Full Piece Here [Aint It Cool]