I was up till 2 a.m. playing Table Tennis with a friend, via Live and by way of Rockstar of course.

The more I play that game, the more I like it. It's funny, because it's one of the few games, besides Uno Live, that I can play and carry on a fairly complicated conversation at the same time. Somewhere near the tail end of a 100-plus rally in the game, my friend and I started talking about how much better the game would be if they added some gold chains. Gold chains and fatalities.

The Table Tennis we envisioned early this morning was one of big fros, bling, platform shoes, disco balls and face-smashing, paddle-flying temper tantrums. I want to be able polish off a 200-rally point with a hernia-forming ball-blast that sends the white ping pong, temporarily turned a glowing red, straight through my opponents chest. I want to lose gracelessly, hurling my paddle, discus-style, across the table to sever my opponent's head with its gloating smile from his sweaty neck. In other words, I want a Rockstar game.

Don't get me wrong, Table Tennis is hot, but it could be so much hotter if the developer added a bit of violence to the thing. It doesn't have to be real violence, I'll settle for cartoon violence. Oh, and don't forget the unlockable jumpsuits, bling, haircuts and the occasional weapon. I totally want to see Tommy Vercetti slamming some Ping Pong. Brian Crecente

Send an email to the author of this post at editor@kotaku.com.