By: Michael McWhertor

I seem to land those "coveted" gigs at Kotaku. The ones where I have to play Left Behind: Eternal Forces at E3, carefully crafting my questions to avoid burning in eternal hellfire; going to the Spike TV VGAs, only to spend much of the show regurgitating Fatburger; liveblogging Will Wright's DICE keynote while each of the design leads tries to best John Moschitta, Jr. for world's fastest talker. I push my body to it's limits for Kotaku. Granted, my physical limits don't really extend that far. At least I'm not digging ditches, my father would probably tell me.

Most recently, I traveled to the other side of the continent to Quebec, to play EA Montreal's latest over-the-top skiing and snowboarding title SSX Blur at the H tel de Glace, Canada's best known ice hotel. I risked life and limb—okay, maybe some frozen toes—to get hands-on with the Wii exclusive shipping tomorrow in North America.

When I told friends and family that I had gone to the ice hotel, I was hit with a barrage of questions. Where did you shower? Can you see through the walls? What did you sleep on? My favorite: Was it cold?

Let's get that one out of the way. Hell, yes, it was cold. Ice is cold. And everything was made of ice. Everything. Tables, chairs, walls, ceilings, beds, drinking glasses, room lighting, everything. But we'll get back to that later.

Beyond the novelty of sleeping in a room made of packed snow and carved ice, the event was to feature hands-on time with SSX Blur, with invitees from all over, including press and members of the EA Montreal staff. Vice president and general manager of the studio Alain Tascan, as well as musician and producer Junkie XL, would be in attendance. Two other titles would be shown in video form, the co-op shooter Army of Two and an unannounced Wii game.

After my brief orientation on how not to die or be subject to amputation from the hotel staff, I walked down from the warm lodge uphill from the H tel de Glace to get some play time with SSX Blur. Unfortunately, the EA Montreal staff on hand who would walk us through the demonstration were running behind.

What to do? Check out the hotel's N'Ice Bar, which was wide open from a cost standpoint—it makes game impressions more positive, I'm told— and warm up with some chicken soup. The ice hotel bar was a simple affair, a bar, a few tables, mostly standing room only, the few seats covered with deer pelts to prevent frozen asses. I bellied up to the bar, ordered one of the "flavors of Quebec", maple whiskey, and sought warmth. The hotel bar thankfully featured one fireplace.

The down side was that, in order to maintain the structural integrity of a frozen building, it was perfectly insulated. Pushing my gloved fingers against the glass, I realized my only source of heat would be a hearty broth or the fire burning up the hill. I briefly considered slicing open the belly of one of my journalistic peers and crawling inside, but thought better of it.

As my body temperature dropped and my blood alcohol content rose, I wondered "Where the hell are the Wii motes? I want to play." The development staff soon arrived, controller in hand, and we got down to business, getting our numbing digits on the Wii-motes and nunchuks nestled within the half-dozen kiosks on site.

First impressions when starting a run down the virtual mountains of Blur: they've got some nice lighting, looking directly at the sun at the top of the slope makes for some beyond-Gamecube graphical effects; this is hard to control, using the nunchuk for movement, the Wiimote for tricks; I don't get it; I keep falling down, followed by some violent controller shaking; wait, I think I got it; I GOT IT!; this is pretty damn cool; Jesus, my hands are freezing!

Like many Wii games, in SSX Blur, maneuvering a snowboarder (or skier) with the two-handed control scheme takes some getting used to. But you'll find your hands, eyes and brain synching up quickly, changing your thought process from "How in the hell am I supposed to do this?" to "I can't believe I just pulled that off." I was nailing Ubertricks to the surprise of SSX Blur devs in no time.

When I first read news of EA bringing a unique SSX to the Nintendo Wii, my curiosity was piqued. How would it control? I expected a Wii-mote only manipulated game, one that involved much remote flipping, rotating, spinning. It would have been a disaster.

Talking to one of the game's developers, I learned that the team had experimented with three totally different control set ups, finally agreeing upon one that involved using the full capabilities of the nunchuk-attached scheme. The left hand will move your character, in an unusual (and customizable) blend of analog stick and nunchuk movement. The Z-trigger makes your boarder crouch to build up speed. Your right hand will be busy with jumping and trick duties. Holding A will make your character jump. Flip up the remote for, well, flips.

Tricks and ubertricks, with the required amount of the Uberific meter filled, naturally, can be performed with simple controller motions and a series of twelve shapes, respectively. Draw an S-curve or heart-shape and you'll ubertrick, which will slow things down just a bit, giving you ample time to enjoy your effort. The staff on hand, as well as the fact sheet, drove home that players should think of the nunchuk portion for on-the-ground controls, with the Wii-mote for whatever you need to do while in the air.

SSX Blur was designed specifically to set itself apart from other games in the series as a title that would take full advantage of Nintendo's unique control scheme. That was the number one aspect that the EA Montreal team focused on. Not unlike Nintendo's Wario Ware Smooth Moves, the game is less of a iterative leap and more of a demonstration of the capabilities of the Wii-mote. Same gameplay, totally new control scheme. But it works.

Also familiar to veteran SSX players are the mountains. The game features well-known slopes from previous games SSX 3 and SSX On Tour, but with a new distinct artistic style and softer, more Wii friendly attitude. How can an E-rated series possibly get more friendly? By dropping aggressive pushes from the control scheme and instead allowing players to scoop up snowballs and throw them at their opponents. Goodbye, mild violence, hello, comic mischief.

Also exclusive to the Wii version of SSX was a solid 60-frames per second frame rate, a first for the series.

The Wii version of SSX also features a unique soundtrack, dynamically adding layers of sound with each successful trick and filled meter level. That soundtrack was designed by EA music vet, Junkie XL, contributor to games like Burnout Legends, Destroy All Humans!, The Sims 2, Forza Motorsport and Need for Speed Carbon. He even added music to the film adaptation of Tecmo's Dead or Alive—watch for the North American straight-to-DVD release soon!

JXL was on hand to DJ a quick set that got the partially sloshed crowd onto the makeshift icy dance floor, later letting his MacBook Pro take over.

But prior to Junkie XL's mini-set, EA Montreal boss Alain Tascan took the stage to congratulate his team on getting the Wii game out the door, as well as show off what the company was currently working on. The first title was... something I'm not allowed to talk about. I can say that it's definitely tailored to the Wii crowd and will feature sunshine. Cryptic enough for you? What I can say is that it's unlike anything the developer has ever done. I don't think you'll be expecting this one. Really.

Tascan then showed the newest trailer for the upcoming PS3 and Xbox 360 shooter Army of Two. It looks just as spectacular as it did back in November but the team at EA Montreal seems to have upped the comedy factor. The game is replete with bleeped out curse words, slapstick visual humor and Kelis' grating hit "Milkshake."

Following a few hours worth of play time, drunken chit chat with the development team and fellow press on staff, I decided it was time to pass out somewhere. I had a back-up room at the warm and cozy Auberge hotel a few hundred yards away. I had showered there earlier. It was wonderful.

I pictured the soft, queen-sized bed that would require no anti-hypothermia preparation. I fantasized about it's wood and concrete walls, skiers and snowmobilers snoring inside in toasty quarters. I wanted to go there. The Auberge called to me.

But I soldiered on, stumbling back to the H tel de Glace, ready for a night of maple whiskey haunted dreams on a bed fashioned from ice. I found my room. It was, obviously, freezing cold. I was somehow still surprised to see that my bed was made of ice.

Removing my boots, crawling into my sleeping bag, fully clothed, then piling on the numerous deer skins, I quickly found slumber. I had left the dim room lights on accidentally, but the calm quiet of a room shielded by foot-thick snow walls let me doze through the night. I slept like a baby. A completely smashed, booze-filled baby. I dreamt of snowboarding, drawing heart-shapes and spirals with my Wii-mote and nunchuk, on a downhill quest for warmth and a hangover cure. Neither were found.

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