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    The Gigantic Woman

    From the Simple 2000 Series, Volume 50: THE (thanks, Denki!) If I'm reading my Kanji right, that translates to The Stick-Figure Man Squinting Insect Close-Up Of Buttocks. Or, invoking Japanese idiom, "The Gigantic Woman" or perhaps "Giant Babe" (Japan Geeks! Save it! Send your linguistic nuance straight to Ashcraft!)

    As a semi-clad Riho Futuba wanders a desolate tropical beach, she is stupid enough to try to pet a truly horrifying crustacean with what appears to be prehensile penises for appendages. She is stung. Now you — an elite Japanese task force — must put her down before she destroys the world by bikini jiggling through it in mammoth slow motion. Supposedly, you beat the game by driving an explosive-laden locomotive into her vagina.

    As an interesting aside, when sussing out possible Japanocentric puns for that last sentence, I asked Ashcraft what the Japanese for "I'm coming!" was. "Japanese women don't come," he replied. (That's been my experience as well.) "They go." What, like to the bathroom? Ew.


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