At a recent, big Nintendo investors meeting, bossman Satoru Iwata answered a bunch of questions, concerning everything from the Wii to the DS to Krazy Ken Kutaragi. And boy did he have his cranky pants on. Best part? The bit where he says DAMNIT AMERICA YOU NEED TO SELL MORE DS THINGS.

I told you today that the U.S. market was the last in making the changes. In fact, as long as the market change caused by DS is concerned, the U.S. appears to be the last market. We launched Brain Training software in Europe and in the Americas almost simultaneously, but there exists a big difference in sales. Until some point in time, Europe was constantly selling significantly more number of DS hardware on weekly basis, which was unthinkable in terms of the past when it was taken for granted that American markets would easily sell twice the number of sales made in Europe. So (specifically referring to the market change), I said today that Europe was first in blooming and the Americas are yet to show their real strength.

Take THAT, Nintendo of America. You can't even beat EUROPE, and they're RUBBISH. More of Iwata's HATE FEST after the jump.

When I received a report from the U.S. that they sold 1 million Pok mon Diamond & Pearl already, I asked them, "why did you sell only 10,000 Brain Age last week, when Europe sold through 30,000?" This is a typical example of how I communicate with our people in the U.S.

Ass-riding being typical Nintendo communication these days. Crack that whip! Or heads will roll! Moving on, Iwata was also asked what he thought about Second Life:

I personally have virtually no interest in Second Life. I don't think it will be considered as an important existence in the future.

OK! What about Ken Kutaragi? Dude's out of a job, any chance you'd go after him?

I don't think we will do that.

Poor Ken. Nobody loves him. Topping off the rant-fest was Iwata's evaluation of the all-important support the Wii has so far received from third-party publishers:

Frankly speaking, Wii unfortunately did not receive as much positive anticipation as we had hoped it would before the launch. Accordingly, Nintendo had to rely upon its first-party titles to create the momentum.

Whew. Who pissed in your coffee, Mr. Iwata? Luke Plunkett

Financial Results Briefing Q&A [Nintendo Japan]

Send an email to the author of this post at plunkett@kotaku.com.