My girlfriend isn't really a gamer. Sure, there have been games in the past she's played for a bit, but nothing really seriously since Yoshi's Cookie on the NES. She does like to watch every now and then, which is what she was doing on Friday night as I took in a little Wii Sports action. I went through each game, playing a round or two. She was especially tickled to see the Mii I made of her in the crowd while I bowled. After about a half-hour I went to set down the controller.

"Wait, you didn't do golf."
"But I hate the golf!"
"Do golf!"

She was scarily insistent, so I played through a quick round of golf, discovering that the game took a lot more finesse and a lot less flailing like a gorilla, my previous strategy. Then I set the controller down, and went to get a drink.

It would be the last time I saw the Wiimote alive.

Well, the last time I would see it that night. Thanks to the Wiimote shortage all I could do was watch as my television and console were taken over by my girlfriend, myself relegated to the position on the couch normally reserved for her. She's watched me play other Wii games before, but something about Wii Sports just clicked with her.

She was good at bowling. Scary good. So good I might need to hobble her before I get another controller in order to save face. She figured out things in tennis that I didn't even know how to do. And boxing. Man, she got so into boxing I had to leave the room in fear of my life. She was downright vicious.

"All these guys I'm fighting have glasses. I hate guys with glasses!" Pow! Pow!

For the record, I wear glasses.

It was a night of bizarre juxtaposition as my non-gaming girlfriend stayed up for hours playing video games while I went to sleep early, unfulfilled. Dammit Nintendo, if anyone is not going to fulfill someone in my household it's gonna be me! Wait... Michael Fahey

Contact information for this author is not available.