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Tragedy struck today, as the entire staff at RPGamer.com were hunted down and slain by a young man with an oversized sword, who witnesses have identified as "a spiky-haired amnesiac with a mysterious past." The suspect is said to be dressed in a colorful outfit with sleeves and pant legs of seemingly random length, accented by impractical bits of armor.
"It was bizarre," says one eyewitness. "He would slash at them with his sword, then step back and wait for them to do something before slashing again. Then, when he finally managed to kill them, he stopped to do a little dance."
Investigators suspect the killings were in response to a post on RPGamer, since removed, that erroneously reported Shigeru Miyamoto's death by turtle.
Video game legend Shigeru Miyamoto died this morning at his home in Sonobe, Japan. The creator of Super Mario and The Legend of Zelda series was killed while picking up the morning paper in front of his home; an eagle was flying overhead and lost its grip on a tortoise it was carrying. The tortoise landed on the back of Miyamoto's neck, shattering one of the cervical vertabrae. Pending an autopsy report, investigators are assuming he died instantly.
Hopefully the post was either a hack, or a disgruntled ex-staffer seeking revenge, because erroneously reporting other people's deaths is never cool. *whistles innocently*
RPGamer says Miyamoto is dead... [Evil Avatar - Thanks Chilly, Jojje, Olly, and Juha!]
