To: Crecente
From: Ashcraft
RE: Best Dentist Evar

If Tristan has the best dentist evar, then I had the worst childhood dentist evar. Here's the laundry list of things that happened: When I was five, I got my arm stuck in the chair and had to go to the hospital. The day after I got my wisdom teeth pulled out, the dentist gave me shots and then said to his assistant: "Oh. We pulled his wisdom teeth out yesterday." He told me that I had cavities between every single one of my teeth. I went to another dentist, who said I had like three. Never went back to the evil dentist ever again! Though, when I was in high school, I saw him at the bookstore. In the adult section. Reading the adult books.

I just got back from Yodobashi Camera. I needed my laptop looked at. Something was screwy with the internet connection and time spent talking to support via the phone was fruitless. It was about 8pm when I got to the counter and the guy in the sweater vest told me: "Sorry you'll have to go to the service counter. This is the sales counter."

They are separate it seems. What's more, the service counter closes at 7pm.

So I ask the Sweater Vest if he can help me out. He says, "No." Apparently, it's illegal for him to touch my computer he said. He only does sales. It's the law, he explains. That's why the sales and the service counter are separate. Okay, fair enough. It's the law, can't argue with that. I explain that I need the internet for my job and ask if there is anything at all he can do.

People say: Japanese service is pitch perfect at doing regular things, but sometimes feels like it can't go the extra mile. Whereas American service is shit at doing regular things, but excels at going the extra mile. I've found both and neither to be true.

The Sweater Vest tells me that I'll have to download the drivers. I said I did, and they wouldn't show up on my computer. I pull out my laptop and connect it to Yodobashi Camera's free WiFi. Ask him if it's alright if I download the drivers, and if he would walk me through it. The sales counter isn't exactly hopping, and he says sure.

That's when the Yodobashi Camera internet craps out.

We both just kind of stand there. I start getting my stuff, thanking him. He says, "What's your OS?" I tell him. Wait here. Five minutes later he comes back with a thumb drive. He says to me in perfect English, "Are we friends?"

Wha? Until that point, we'd be conversing in English, and he showed no signs whatsoever he knew English, asking me to explain everything in Japanese. And here he is, speaking native sounding English.

"Are we friends? Are we?"
"Sure, yeah," I say. "We're friends."
"Because if we are friends, I can install this on your computer. As a friend. As an employee, I can't. But, we're friends, so it's cool, right?"
"Totally cool."

He takes my MacBook and moves it to the far corner of the counter, telling me there is a security camera overhead. His boss watches the security camera. We've got to hurry — he is breaking the law. He gets it installed and internet working in ten minutes flat, takes the thumb drive out, slips it in his pocket and starts rattling away again in Japanese. He hands me a pamphlet for the service counter, which he says opens at 10am tomorrow. "It's nearby, not far." There's a phone number there as well. He thanks me and bows slightly. I do likewise and leave.

What you missed last night
Aussie sells Halo 3
Katamari on PS3 and Wii
Is Microsoft showing this off tomorrow?
Eternal Sonata for PS3?

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