Call it a rule of thumb, but tall, blonde Eastern European women ain't here in Japan teaching English. The aforementioned type slides next to me on the train, wearing a pink jumper, track pants and scuffed black dress shoes. What an odd outfit.

I'm heading south, burrowing through the city towards the Osaka down. The rest of the train is packed with children, GBAs and DSes. It's like a grade school field trip save for some lady with grocery bags screaming in Chinese.

Blondie takes out a piece of paper and unfolds it and refolds it. Her face is fresh, scrubbed clean of make-up, and she smells like soap. She's really got to do something about those shoes. They're hideous. The side of the sheet I can see reads:

Model's Name: KATR—
Meet Time: 10:00
Meet Place: Shinsaibashi (in Japanese)
Shoot Type: —

She stuffs the paper into her purse and takes out another. It's a map of the area around Shinsaibashi Station. There's the sound of the bag lady screaming again in Chinese, just as the train grinds to a halt, and the doors open. Blondie gets out.

The doors close, children play their handhelds and the bag lady doesn't utter a word. Next stop: New Generation World Hobby Fair.

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