Hi Jack! Hey, nice lawsuit there, chuckles. But I didn't come here to gloat.

As you know, all of my days spent in the murder-death-kill simulators published by companies like Rockstar have made me a remorseless killing machine. Still, watching you lose time and time again as you ignorantly stride forth on your quest to revoke artistic expression and free speech? Your losing streak is like watching the blow-by-blow of a a small, adorable, perhaps somewhat retarded puppy from another video game killing simulator I like to play (Nintendogs... add it to your "to be sued" list) get beaten by a towel full of oranges. Except instead of oranges, the towel is full of failed lawsuits.

For the first five or ten minutes, it's just funny... but then, out of nowhere, I feel a strange emotion surge in my chest. Just a flicker. I've never felt it before. Could this be the human emotion called pity?

It is! I pity your losing streak. Even to an egomaniac like you, that's got to be depressing. So now that Bully is out and it turns out that it's remarkably non-violent, I thought I'd help you out by giving you a new tack to take in suing Rockstar. Here's a little snippet I found from Gamebrink's review of Bully:

I think my favorite activity outside of the main story was getting together with both girls and boys. You see the only controversy likely to have any basis in reality is the fact that you can kiss both girls and some boys. Well that and the fact that you don't need to go to school for too long to learn everything. Not only that but if you practice at it you can actually get HP back just by smooching. Call it the teen version of GTA's hookers.

Bully promotes pedophilia and teen prostitution! I expect to see a press release in my inbox shortly, Jack! Florian Eckhardt

Bully Review [Gamebrink]