A few months back I dropped a small sum to beat House of the Dead 2 in the arcades with a friend...even though I owned the Dreamcast version, complete with larger HDTV, back at home. There's just something—shall I say, special—about shooting hordes of decaying zombies until they more closely resemble the brain matter of which they are so inclined to consume.

That's why the new first-person rail shooter Touch the Dead is so appealing to us. While we won't be able to drop a car payment to beat the game in the arcades, we will have the opportunity—nay—to destroy zombies from passengers car seats and porcelain thrones.

Hit the jump for our Frankenreview: a review that will mean nothing if we for once second let our guard down and those damn zombies suck our game-loving mind tissue.

Game Almighty
The first thing you notice when the game starts is the awful graphics. Touch the Dead reinvents what it means to have jaggies. Everything is pixilated and bland and the closer the zombies come, the worse it gets. Ironic, because the bad graphics actually inspire you to kill the creatures when they're as far away as possible, lest you think your DS has a broken graphics chip.

Modojo
Players simply tap the screen to shoot enemies before they come charging in to cause life-decreasing damage. Aiming really isn't an issue here, as I was able to rack up 195 head shots during one particular session of the game without really trying. The real hassle here lies in reloading. Instead of tapping a button, players are forced to drag over a full clip of bullets over to the gun, wait a second for it to click in, and start firing.
Portable Review
[One] nice thing is that shots register in different areas. So, if you hit a zombie in the head, its face will start bleeding, or if you hit one enough times in the stomach, it'll burst open...There are also a few bosses which can only be hurt in certain areas - another nice touch.

Opposable Thumbs
The life issue is a tricky one, as in each chapter the life and ammunition you carry with you is persistent: if you do poorly on part 2, it may be worth your time to start all the way over. This is fine at the beginning of the game, but as the game progresses...you find yourself staring at a boss with only a few hit points and two shotgun shells and the only answer is to start again, it becomes quite the frustration.

Games Radar
With the stylus substituting itself for a light gun, and the power inside capable of drawing 3D corridors, it's madness that it's taken two years for one to appear.

Bottom Line: the game isn't that great. But like many of you, I'll be picking up a copy sometime just for the FPS zombie novelty alone. Mark Wilson