After standing in line at the NECA booth to secure this painfully awful Simon Belmont... thing that's not only an eyesore to anyone with a modicum of respectable taste, but also a Comic Con 07 exclusive(!), I realized I was the only one of dozens to point at this ghastly monstrosity and semi-convincingly utter "I want that!" Confirming that my glass case poking was directed at this garish waste of ten dollars, the NECA booth girl handed it over.

"Just one?" she said. "Are you joking?" I thought.

Even though I knew that this was nothing more than a joke purchase and will ultimately be destroyed by myself (or a lucky reader!) I still felt like a sucker. I can confirm that, yes, this thing is indeed disgusting to look at in real life but it does not, as Luke suspected, to actually be molded human excrement.

Final grade: F. Will mock again.

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