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A Week (Or More) In Comments

Simple Ways To Kotaku Komment Better
Comment by: Pablos102030
Nominated by: kennyd1

Why can't the spammers who say first at least be more creative? Like this:

OH JOYOUS DAY! I HAPPENED TO BE THE FIRST COMMENTATOR TO STUMBLE ACROSS THIS WEB-TYPE PAGE. I SHALL NOW EXCLAIM VICTORY OVER THE INFERIOR. HUZZAH!

HMMM... WHAT'S THIS? A BANHAMMER OF EPIC POWER? WIELDED BY A LOWLY BARD? HA, FOOLS!"

Sony UK Boss Says E3 Was Like A Plumber's Convention

More E3 navel-gazing! Can you stand any more? Do try, because this has got to be the last one. Asked for his thoughts on the validity of E3's "new" format, SCE UK's Ray Maguire said:

I think we felt that E3 suffered by not having that grandeur and the theatrical shows that demonstrate this is a business that generates billions of Euros. It was more like a convention for plumbers. But behind closed doors, there was a decent amount of business going on.

If that's a comment on the amount of visible ass-crack on show, Ray, I can assure you, it's all the rage with the kids these days.

Interview: Ray Maguire, MD of SCE UK [TechRadar]

GTA IV Not Coming To The PC (Yet)

Could have sworn this was discounted when it first popped up a few weeks back, but it's popped back up again today, so what the hell. You may see, or may already have seen, images of the cover of the latest issue of PC Gamer Malaysia. Purporting to confirm that GTA IV is on its way to the PC. Well it's not, at least, it's not yet, with the magazine's editor admitting the cover's headline is his own conjecture. Rockstar have also chimed in, denying any announcement on a PC version has been made.

PC Version of GTA IV Confirmed (Updated Again) [IGN]

Sponsors Thanks

We're all back at Kotaku Tower. And boy, are we ever happy to get home! We were the return, the tower was clean as a whistle. It seems while we were away, our Sponsors scrubbed down the place for us. And for that, we thank them. This week, Kotaku was made neat and tidy by Coors Light, Sony Crackle, Eve Online, Everquest Living Legacy, Final Fantasy, Metroid, Mighty Leaf Tea, Soul Calibur, Starwood Hotels and T-Mobile.

Interested in advertising with Kotaku? Click here to find out more.

Realtime Worlds Expects M Rating For APB

After Realtime Worlds' appetite-whetting unveiling of its upcoming cops-n'-jerkbags MMO APB (All Points Bulletin), it'd be a little disappointing if it turned out that all we were being promised was sanitized "comic mischief." But no — Realtime Worlds fully expects to earn its M rating.

Realtime Worlds president Tony Harman (who recently told us why we didn't see APB at E3) had a chat with Gamespot:

Above, a pic that supposedly proves that, via the wonders of DLC, you will indeed be able to play as both Vader and Yoda in Soul Calibur IV, regardless of which version of the game you buy. It's certainly far from conclusive proof, in that all it proves is that Yoda is on the left of a digital image while Vader's on the right, but far crazier, far less likely rumours have turned out to be true than this one.

Vader Coming To 360 Soul Calibur IV As Download [GamersReports]

Fracture Shows Off Pacifican Rhino, Assault Vehicle

The community Fracture site updated today with details on a new weapon and a new vehicle.

The Pacifican Rhino gun is a rifle that shoots living boulder's at people. These boulders can track lifeforms and chase them around, until the boulder either flattens them or explodes. Sounds like a barrel of fun.

Next up, the terrain deforming TDV-1 Assault Vehicle.

British Prisoners Lose Their Gaming Privileges

A new ban on video games in UK prisons limits gaming to those who have earned "top privileges" and completely bans violent games and shooters with an 18 or older rating.

The rule change comes after new prison directives hit that prevent taxpayers' money from being used to buy games or consoles.

The change in rules come after the Government revealed that they spent more than £10,000 on 80 PlayStations and 15 XBoxes for youth offender institutions.

Mr. Bean Stumbles Onto DS, Heads For Wii

Does oddball British comedy make a good portable game? We'll see, I guess, since Blast Entertainment released Mr. Bean for the DS, a game featuring the hapless, juvenile character played famously by actor Rowan Atkinson.

Blast Entertainment also did the PS2 Mr. Bean game last year, and points out in this new announcement that it "still sells consistently well and continues to earn a place in the Chart track top 40 PS2 budget chart each week."

What can you expect from Mr. Bean DS? 12 puzzle levels and traps to avoid, missions and "exciting 3D locations." What shouldn't you expect? Probably not high production values, as you may recall Blast Entertainment CEO's Shawn Brennan pulled no punches at a UK event last year where he fired off on high development costs, calling it "ego tripping."

You can also, Blast says, expect a Wii version "later this year." Full announcement follows the jump, Bean-fans!

Capcom held a Street Fighter cosplay contest at its Comic-Con booth today, but things didn't quite go as planned. A good portion of the contestants decided to reach outside the Street Fighter universe to get their dress-up on, including a solid Captain Commando, multiple S.T.A.R.S. team members and folks better known for their appearances in the Final Fight series.

Check out the handmade efforts in our gallery below and vote on your choice for the winner. Sadly, we didn't get a proper, full view shot of the Alpha version of Chun-Li, because she totally nailed the thighs.

Considering it's a kids game, and it's on the DS, and stars the new kids-oriented Transformers, you might not give the new Transformers Animated game a chance. I know the show - Megatron, Starscream and that Nazi Decepticon aside - is just awful. But the game looks (relatively) pretty neat! Really. It's a side-scrolling platformer broken up by vehicle sections, but when side-scrolling, you control one Autobot, with the others scrolling right there with you. And you can switch between them effortlessly, to take advantage of their various strengths/weaknesses in order to solve puzzles or, as Ironhide would put it, kick some Decepticreep butt. Sounds mundane, but people as old as me may remember the original 80s Transformers game, and how this is almost exactly the same, which is a nice touch. Presser after the jump.

Miyamoto Confirms New Mario, Zelda, Pikmin Projects

Relax. Nintendo has not forgotten you. Making new titles for the traditional fanbase just takes time, says Shigeru Miyamoto, speaking to the Telegraph recently in an interview.

Said Miyamoto:

"Making these 'traditional' games is what I am best at. Because games of that nature take upwards of two or three years to make, we always have to keep the teams working on those projects going. At any given time, the team could be five to ten people, or it could be 50-plus. People are always switching in and out of those teams.

Afro Samurai Hands-On Impressions

Namco Bandai treated Comic-Con attendees to a playable — but all too brief — demo of Afro Samurai, the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 title based on the manga of the same name. The demo, which feels like an early, tutorial-style level, helps get the player up to speed on the fighting mechanics in a tight, enclosed portion of a Japanese village.

After a brief voiceover from character Ninja Ninja, voiced with super salty language by Samuel L. Jackson, Afro Samurai is set loose on a steady stream of sword wielding bad guys.

The attack system is rather straightforward, using the X and Y buttons for light hits and heavy hits respectively. Afro jumps with A and kicks with B. Blocking is performed with the right trigger, but it's the left trigger that makes the combat more interesting.

Street Fighter IV in Arcades? You Suck!

To: Ash
From: Crecente
Re: Breaktime Means Line Up For SFIV

Oh man, Street Fighter IV at an arcade? I am so bitter. I wish we had an arcade here in the U.S. with the forethought or buying power to get the machine imported. As it stands the only places you're going to be able to play the game outside of a console are at specialty stores that just pay cash to import the thing themselves. Worse still, they aren't yet selling the board on its own, so it's going to be a bundle to do that.

I hope you popped a few coins down on the machine and had a go.

What you missed:
Mortal Kombat 9 Planned As A Mature Return To Form
Game Club: Beyond Good & Evil The Final Assignment
Porn Starlet Tera Patrick Joins Saint's Row 2
Sega Can't Find The Source Code For Your Favorite Old School Arcade Games
First 4 Figures Does Ryu Hayabusa Right
Spider-Man: Web Of Shadows Impressions
NECA Pimps Gaming Toy Line Up At Comic-Con
Green Lantern, Joker Join MK Vs. DC Universe Line Up
Michael Ironside's Splinter Cell Role, Game's Script Still Up In the Air
Prince Of Persia Creator "Delighted" By Film Casting

Former XNA Community Manager Airs Quality Concerns

Microsoft's recent announcement that it would let community developers earn money for games they make with the company's XNA toolset came as good news to some, but former XNA community manager David Weller is concerned about the lack of quality standards. On his blog, Weller wrote:

Being an ex-XNA member, I can still say, without a shadow of doubt, that Microsoft is offering a groundbreaking game channel, and that some people stand a chance to make great money from the system. It's an exciting opportunity, but the danger for consumers lies in Microsoft's deliberate steps to avoid discussions regarding game quality, even during peer review.

It's similar, actually, to quality concerns about Xbox Live Arcade that ultimately led to Microsoft's announcement that underperforming titles would be delisted from the service.

Is it as big an issue on the separate community games channel? Said Weller:

Real Gamers In EA Sports Ads Set Up For Teasing

Now that EA Sports has begun running ads featuring real gamers promoting the titles, investment blog The Motley Fool has decided to have a little bit of fun at their expense. "Nerdy smackdowns have been bringing the funny since Napoleon Dynamite became a big-screen hit," says the site. Shudder.

Anyway, The Motley Fool came up with a tongue-in-cheek list of five ways to tell if you're EA Sports ad material:

Think you're ready to be "in the game," as EA says? Here are five signs you'll be the firm's next sports star. Drumroll, please:

Too Human Gets Euro Release Date

Silicon Knights' Too Human is coming to our shores on August 19th, and we now know our neighbors in Europe will get the Xbox 360 exclusive precisely ten days thereafter, on the 29th.

The demo was unveiled on Xbox Live last week — were you too caught up in E3 craziness, or did you catch it? We had a lengthy discussion on it here at Kotaku last week, in case you missed it. What do you think, Europe? Looking forward?

And on the off chance you have no idea what we're even talking about, Microsoft has helpfully offered full details in the announcement after the jump.

EA Announces Free "Biome" Prototype For Spore

For those antsy for Spore, the September 7th launch date can't come soon enough — but while you're waiting, you can now check out a new spore prototype called Biome for free.

It's a "programmable cellular automata simulator" which EA says lets players make grid simulations à la SimCity. Fancy words in the announcement like "chemical stoichiometry" means Biome simulates changes that take place in cells when they're exposed to new variables, similar to the way some chemicals change their state when exposed to other chemicals.

EA says Maxis built prototypes like these initially to explore design directions for the game, and is now letting gamers mess with the machinery to check out some of these early ideas. More are set to be released in the coming weeks.

Full announcement after the jump.