
Poor Uwe Boll. Not only is he unnaturally short, he is also a rotten filmmaker. The "director" recently try to eBay a role in his Far Cry adaptation. Bidding started at €2,498 (US $3,360). Not did the winner get five days on the set with Uwe, he or she would also have to cover things like the flight and the hotel. Any takers? No, it seems. The idea that Uwe thinks people would pay to be in his movies, let alone watch them, is HILARIOUS.
Boll's Aution [eBay Thanks, Sebastian!]














Comments
Pay to be in Uwe Boll movie!? You have got to be kidding me >_>
Pay to see anything that uwe boll has been involved in is a joke
His movies are abysmal but the little bastard does have a big set on him.
Also, supposedly the Postal movie doesn't suck.
The leaked first minutes of footage from Postal was funny.
'Not did the winner get' indeed.
HAH hahahahahahahahaha!
As an aspiring filmmaker, I will make it my goal to one day remake all the garbage Uwe Boll has vomited to the screen. Alone in the Dark actually is the only one I am interested …It just would have been so easy to make something good out of that first game. You know, the original PC one. Anywho… this guy is just so hated that I don't see any real actors (unless they are really hurting for cash) wanting to be tainted by any of his work. But then Ben Kingsley is a pretty damn good actor…why on earth would he decide to work with this guy?
@Atheist Jew: HAH hahahahahahahahaha! x 2
Good for the smarmy bastard. :D
hahahaha
Why the hell would he even make an auction over a role in his movie?
The man just doesnt give up.
can't we just pay him NOT to make anymore movies instead?
@icepick314: I'd throw in a few bucks. We should start a non-profit organization!
Gamers Against Uwe Boll...or ....G.A.U.B.
Acronym needs work.
Is it wrong that if i had the money i would be all over this? I would probably be the best actor in the film and cast me as the main character.
Hmmm, which is worse, Far Cry the movie, or Far Cry for Wii?
I've come to the conclusion Uwe Boll simply just doesn't want to make money. I mean, just look at the eBay auction. If he had made it an auction where the winner gets to fly on set and personally kick Boll between the legs the ending bid would have likely been higher than the income of his highest-grossing film.
Ya'see, Boll? This is how money works; you gotta give the public what they want. :D
Har har, I wouldn't bother even if Uwe Boll pays me to appear on the set.
Come on people, have a heart. He needs this money to fuel his life-destroying failure addiction.
@Witzbold: I just wish someone would laugh like that to his face, on camera.
@icepick314: I'd rather pay for an assassin...
@Atheist Jew:
how about this instead?
set up a donation through online and bid on the auction...
send in a monkey instead...
pretty damm sure the movie will be FAAAAR better than any of his previous movies...
I've never actually seen any of his movies
Maybe that's why I feel kind of sorry for him^^
Need to see a release date for this so I can make sure I am a long, long, long way from a cinema....
@Atheist Jew: They'd get quite the punching. Boll is a better boxer than a filmmaker from what we've seen.@sakipooh: "But then Ben Kingsley is a pretty damn good actor…why on earth would he decide to work with this guy?"
Free holiday in Romania?
"The idea that Uwe thinks people would pay to be in his movies, let alone watch them, is HILARIOUS."
That's a funny thing to say, seeing how one of you guys not only paid for, but also enjoyed House of the Dead enough to recommend buying the "movie" to your readers. Good job.
http://kotaku.com/gaming/uwe-boll/uwe-boll-aint-heavy-1487...
"If you like any of the Friday the Thirteenth movies, especially the later ones, or Nightmare on Elmstreet or Chucky, then I'd recommend buying this UMD. On the whole, Boll produced a fairly fun gore flick that manages to pack in tons of elements from the game. Personally, I think the movie overcame the obstacles created by basing it on a rather flat, plotless game."
@e.:
OH SNAP!
@e.
Just because two people have the same name, doesn't mean they have the same opinion. I thought that was, you know, pretty obvious to most people. Guess not!
@Jackablade: The only reason why Boll might come off as being a "better" boxer, is because he chooses to fight people with little physical strength and boxing ability.
Like Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka for example.
Not to mention Boll refuesd to fight anyone with real boxing training.
Real set that bastard has got there. Big man Boll, big man.
thats great ashcraft, cept theres no name on the article. couldve been anyone of you. could still be you in fact.
I've only seen Bloodrayne and I am a big one for the kitsch. Sho Kusogi, Russ Meyer, Segal in Estonia or somewhere...whatever. Easily amused. This shit I could not watch. It's just so flat. It's like it was filmed entirely in the dark. All I remember was Ben Kingsley.......WTF? It was like seeing Whitney for the first time as a meth-head. I've walked out of stuff for being pretentious or boring. This film was right in the zone between not being made at all and being so bad that it is soooo fine. I don't even know what to call that zone or if it has ever had a name but I bet if you travel there it smells like ass.
His movies may suck but I'd kill for a chance to be in a leading role of almost any movie. Anything that gets my name out is a good thing really.
You can always bounce back from a flop movie to do really great work.
Good to see some have standards to uphold.
If I had known this, I would have done it. I'm very upset I didn't know. Damn...
@Zer0Force:
Dude. Your name is out now. And we are watch....ing.
@Zer0Force
in order to get your name out, you'd have to do a movie people would actually see. And you can't bounce back from a bad movie when you had no career to begin with.
@Zer0Force:
You think they'll ebay a leading role, even for a bad movie? More likely it'll be one of those extras who meet a grisly end 10 minutes into the movie just to set the mood.
You know, the kind of role nobody remembers.
I think this is a money laundry thing, like the gizmondo ended up being. Europe also has criminals, and all this money getting dumped seems strange...I heard even goverments pay some parts in their movies... I think is way better than giving it to their respective queens and princesses that they enjoy so much overseas...
Oh man, I sure wouldn't want to be Uwe Boll right now. What a loser.
If there wasn't a starting bid, I'd put in a few dollars, just so I could stand Uwe Boll up.
God Bless you, Dr. Boll. I'd do it if it's free.
@EliasAlucard: lol loser? that loser has more money than you'll ever have! and he can get more to make more bad movies. i don't understand why internet nerds are soo pissed off at him...actually, i do. they're nerds and they're on the internet.
He's getting his actors from ebay auctions?
Another piece to the puzzle hm?
@causality:
Sure, he's got more money than I do. That's beside the point.
Look, money doesn't necessarily equate into success. Yeah, the guy has money. He's still a loser because he's worthless at making movies, despite a decent budget and many talented actors.
Face it, the guy is a joke, and I wouldn't want to be in his clothes for all the millions in the world. Have some dignity.
@causality:
I think people are pissed off at him because he takes licenses with some potential (like alone in the dark) and completely and utterly runs them into the ground. Repeatedly. And yet somehow he still gets money to make utterly terrible movies that are by all accounts financial failures. The fact that such a situation exists boggles my mind. Unless he's somehow getting financed by the government through some terrible loophole, I have no idea how he still has a career.
It's like how people hate Paris Hilton. She may not be a "loser" because she has ungodly amounts of money, but that doesn't keep her from being a completely and utterly useless person.
man, I used "utterly" way too much in that last post. Excuse my lack of creativity there, but people like that Uwe leave me at a loss for words.
@Defenestrated:
Well, I still agree with your post either way. Let's face it, the guy is totally worthless. I don't get it why video game companies still allow him to completely fuck up their franchise.
As an internet nerd, my antipathy towards Uwe Boll stems primarily from my intense fear that he will someday meet Derek Smart in person, and the two of them will proceed to firmly shake hands while looking each other directly in the eye.
At this point, the fabric of the universe will tear open, creating a nightmare vortex of infinite oblivion into which the entirety of existence will be sucked and consumed.
Behold, for I have foreseen the End.
And this is why Uwe Boll must be stopped, before it is too late.
I could barely understand that article. "No, it looks like?"
@VakeroRokero:
from article from CinemaBlend.com...
"...the German investors in a movie only pay tax on any RETURNS the movie makes, their investment is 100% deductible, so the minute the movie makes a profit, said investor has to start paying tax. Plus the investors can actually borrow money to put towards investment and write that off too. Assuming you're a sharp enough businessman you have a potential goldmine in the making; a way to make money from investing in bad movies..."
so basically you take tax deductable on your investment but you pay tax only when the movie profits...
so the entire library of Boll's game movies bombed so you never pay tax but still can take tax credit...
here's the article link...
http://www.cinemablend.com/features/Uwe-Boll-Money-For-Not...
oh...btw...
looks like he put out another auction with lower starting bid...
and this time, there's a bidder...
http://cgi.ebay.de/Statist-Komparsenrolle-in-FAR-CRY-mit-T...
@aestheticity
That post is from early 2006, right? We didn't have bylines back in early 2006. But, we did have three writers: Me, Luke Smith, Crecente and Alice (*sometimes*). I always refer to Uwe as "chowderhead," so it's not me. Luke Smith hates everything so it's not him -- He also might've already gone to 1Up. Alice? You prefers Esty to Uwe. So! That leaves Crecente. :)
also, is that pic legit? If so that makes me incredibly sad. I like michael madsen :(
I think this is a great idea for all movie studio houses. Why pay your actors? Make your actors pay you. They would make millions.
Kotaku is better without the irrational hatred.
Why don't you do another post about gays?
@ablemancain: They did before with the gay gamers bit and it had far more positive responses than any post about Uwe Boll. XD
@ashcraft:
obviously you wrote it, seeing how you are trying to bluff your way out of this.
You are a grown man (saw a picture of your kid once on kotaku). Do you care how some nerdy losers think of you if they know you secretly enjoyed 'house of the dead'?
I think house of the dead is a nice game movie, i agree on what you wrote last year. Back when kotaku was less about hatred.
@sakipooh:
It is because Kingsley and other actors were offered a good sum of money, money which Uwe Boll took out of the budget that was intended for other areas of the production.
P.S. As an inspiring filmmaker myself, I wouldn't touch any intellectual property other than a book, and even then I would recommend working with a completely original idea and a small budget in order to acquire more authority over the film's production.