DENVER, 4:33 PM, SUN JUL 6 | 9 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@kotaku.com | RSS
AU

Clips: Uwe Boll Beats Up Critic in Boxing Match

Awhile back, infamous games-to-movie director Uwe Boll challenged his mouthy critics to a boxing match. What they didn't know is that he was semi-pro boxer.

Well reader Fidel sends word that the first Boll boxing match ended as expected, with Boll making a fool out of his critic. Not only did he land some nice blows, the other guy was literally tripping all over himself to get away. Once he even turned his back on the boxer/director to try and stop the abuse.

The moral of the story: One's ability to make movies has nothing to do with one's ability to pummel a person into a bloody pulp.

Now if he had challenged all-comers to a bout of fencing I'd be all over that.

5:00 PM on Wed Sep 6 2006
By Brian Crecente
5,812 views
35 comments

Comments

  • Inquiring minds want to know: Who was the critic he bludgeoned to a pulp?

  • Haha. Good for him. His films still suck though

  • Pray for Lowtax...

  • I'm not a critic...but can I box him to get my $8 back for House of the Dead?

  • my god, even my unborn niece would have wooped that guy's *ss.....

  • Fencing with Foils or Short swords?

  • Fencing with bayonets attached to rifles!!!

    The camera man was an idiot btw

  • Shouldn't there be a "SHOCKER" tag for this post?

  • Why didn't he take his lunch money while he was at it?

  • By the amount of shaky cam here - I think the cameraman could proudly declare "I am the best sex I ever had" - Richard Jenni

  • This was just pathetic. The running and cringing...ugh.

    Lowtax is who I'm rooting for. Hopefully he's actually training.

  • Well, let's see. If anyone got any after that fight, I know who it wasn't.

  • This just further proves my point that Uwe Boll just likes to hurt people. But as you can see it takes too much effort to only hurt one person at a time, so he got into movies so he can make eyes bleed by the masses with just about the same amount of effort.

  • That guy stands in a karte position it seems. Has he ever even watched boxing? I hope the other guys practice some before they get in the ring.

    I don't see any of these guys beating Uwe. He has experience.

    His movies still suck.

    Maybe he should make a movie about boxing.

  • That critic was about as coordinated as a new born giraffe

  • It looks like that guy has never even been in a FIGHT before.

    I'd never wished so badly for a former boxer to become an internet film critic in all my life.

  • Okay. How did Boll win? I mean, anyone who has ever taken at least ONE boxing lesson should have noticed this: Boll leaves his entire body open for the most part. His positioning is wrong, and he signals his punches. Either Boll has no real boxing talent, or he's playing with the guy. When Boll is up that close, you can easily get taps on him. Boll barely keeps his hands up to gaurd himself. That's incredibly amateur. Note where Boll's hands are for 90% of the fight. The fact that the other guy lost is just a testament to how little some people know about boxing. -_- Boxing is a lost art these days. The cycling bit Boll does near the front of the match? That's hilarious, I think. But yeah. I think the guy who lost should have actually read up on boxing before stepping into the ring with Gabby Jay (Uwe Boll). Because Uwe Boll doesn't seem to have any sort of footwork, his balance is off, his hands are wrong, and the whole bit looks so very staged that I can't really buy that Uwe Boll ever did pro boxing.

  • "he's playing with the guy"

  • You're right on the money Philip, but I don't think Boll had to try too hard on this one... It might have been over too quick.

  • Awesome, I can see this making Postal a definite contender for Movie of the Year.

  • Huh. Reminds me of the school yard bully. "So you wrote an essay where you made fun of me? Well, I'll kick your ass!"

    The best thing would have been to just ignore him, the same way you have to ignore Thompson and other things. Like warts - the more you ignore them, the faster they go away.

  • Well, obviously the critic wasn't beat up enough as a child to know HOW to fight... Too bad Uwe Boll had to teach him :( How demeaning...

  • I think Mr. Boll makes horrible movies, but I think he was definitely holding back on someone who obviously had zero boxing/fighting experience. If you're going to accept a challenge, at least, take a few boxing lessons, Moron!!!

    Hopefully, one of the critics will put up a decent fight and make it more enjoyable and not so pathetic! I really would like to see Boll's head roll. KO!

  • Jeez, if you suck that bad, and you are getting your ass kicked, change strategy! Go for laughs, screw around, pretend to be wrestling . . .do SOMTHING! Otherwise you look like a sissy, whereas you could be looking like a funny sissy. Big difference.

  • Hey, I'm all for Uwe.

    I've never seen a movie of his, and I bet many of his "critics" haven't either. Sure it is immature to challenge people to a boxing match, but what kind of desperate, publicity-hungry loser would take him up on it? And then NOT train for the match?

    Say what you want about Uwe (we all seem to), but he's exposing these losers for what they are.

    At least he's making a sport of it.

  • Frapp if you haven't seen one of his movies then you don't know what you're talking about.

    I bet 100% of his critics have seen his movies.

    They aren't lying, they aren't exadurating. His movies really do suck THAT BAD.

    Seriously. Go rent House of the Dead. DO IT. You have too. This is not an option. Rent that movie, and then you will know.

    As for Uwe.. I've always heard good things about him personally. People say he's pretty cool, funny charming.. Whatever. I don't doubt it.

    His movies suck though. Period. End of story.

    I actually paid to see House of the Dead in the theater and I still regret it to this day. Worst movie EVER. The acting was HORRIBLE it was so bad I wanted to puke. The actual game develolpers could have done a better job of acting I shit you not.

  • that was the most pathetic thing i've ever had the displeasure of watching. what the hell was this guy thinking? it's pretty obvious that he never actually put any thought into what was really going to happen once he got there in that ring.

    why on earth would you accept a challenge to box someone if all you were going to do was try to turn tail and run the entire time? he made a complete fool of himself in front of the world and now everyone knows just how big of a sissy he really is.

  • Who's taking wagers that only the 'And the winner is... Uwe Boll!' fights will make the cut?

    Just sayin...

  • Hahahaha...check out the original web site review from the humiliated non-boxer (google translated):
    http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=es&u=http:/...
    Something tells me he didn't talk trash about Uwe's hairline in the ring.

  • So what has Boll proved?

    He can beat up nerds and make crappy movies?

    Big deal, it's no better than being in grade school and making the bully mad. The only way he is going to make people see his movies for anything other than crap, is to put some effort into them!! Once he makes a decent flick, he will have something to back up his claim with.

    Uwe Boll...Your movies suck! You and me, Swing set 3 o' clock!!

  • It's a shame 99% of people with websites popular enough to be considered for this nonsense are likely shrimpy milquetoasts or doughy slobs. At this point there's about zero hope of him getting knocked on his ass...the one thing I could hope for is someone seriously training for it beforehand, then dogging it in the ring so Boll thinks he sucks...then out of nowhere BOOM, Boll's HEAD flies into the FIRST ROW. Just like real boxing.

  • Say what you want about Uwe (we all seem to), but he's exposing these losers for what they are.

    Last time I checked they were critics not boxers, so yeah. He exposed the non-boxer as a non-boxer. Boll is just bad with criticisim and this was the most outlandish way he could think of embarassing those who have embarassed him.

  • So, if people take on his challenge, wouldn't that make them more "outlandish" in accepting than Boll's offer?

  • If his movies suck ... go tell it to him in person. Otherwise shut up.

  • This will bite him in the ass if a critic is a pro-level boxer. But than again, he'll probably refuse to fight him making this "you pissed on my movie? i keel you in boxing!" stunt he's doing a farce just like him.

Start a discussion:

Reply by Email

Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.