As you may or may not know, many of Gawker's other sites do public executions, ripping away a person's commenting access publically while also shaming them with jibes about their family ancestory, currently living arrangements and, if necessary, their general appearance.

I've never been one to like such things. I love our readers and when, on that infrequent occasion, one of them happens to go astray by, for instance, posting "this isn't news" or "I slept with your wife" I typically send out our silent but deadly brood of Ninja monkeys to dispatch them with speed and effeciency. Few, besides the poster, ever know what happened.

But today we have a special case. A spammer. A lackey. A sycophant. (Actually, I don't even know what that means, but I like the sound of it.)

And for this one occasion we've decided to cage up the monkeys and bring out the pirates. Yes, it's time for a someone to walk the plank... I considered dropping him off on the shores of IGN and sailing into the sun, but I'm not a cruel man.

For the crimes of:

Spamming Kotaku and really pissing off the readers, singing the praises of a really, really shitty game, not bothering to try and at least disguise his spam as something suitable for the stories he's posting in, begging people to play Left Behind, pretending that Left Behind is anything but the bible-thumping creation of a bunch of Croatian sweat shop coders, being a ultra super douche lord

I sentence SJR to have his commenting tongue plucked from his screaming mouth and his still writhing body to be tossed from the side of the Goodship Kotaku.

May God have mercy on his soul.

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