For Nearly $700, One Would Expect He-Man To Show A Little Nipple

Look here, Pop Culture Shock Collectibles — if you're going to ask me to put down $679 for a life-size He-Man bust, you're going to have to show some super-heroic nipple.

It's not just me — general consensus about the Kotaku tower chat room when I introduced this striking Masters of the Universe collectible was unanimous. This is not a case of "nipple or bust". It's "nipple AND bust".

For Nearly $700, One Would Expect He-Man To Show A Little Nipple

He can't hold aloft his magic sword. Not without arms. He's not articulated in any way, so he can't sing "What's Going On." If we're not going to see any He-Man nipple, what's the point?

"The 1:1 He-Man life-sized bust is probably one of our most requested items," said Jerry Macaluso, president of Pop Culture Shock, via official press release. "I'm finally glad we can bring this stellar product to the fans."

The fans wanted nipples, Jerry.

For Nearly $700, One Would Expect He-Man To Show A Little Nipple

Don't get me wrong, this is a very striking piece, which should pair well with the life-size Skeletor bust PCS has up for preorder already, though really how can He-Man face off against his arch-nemesis without his most powerful weapons?

For Nearly $700, One Would Expect He-Man To Show A Little Nipple

It's not like the breastplate isn't coming down far enough or anything. *sigh*

The Life-Size He-Man bust, nipple-less edition will be available for preorder at the Pop Culture Shock Collectibles website on August 4, with an estimated release date of summer 2015. There's the regular edition, limited to 300 pieces, and the exclusive edition, which is limited to 150 pieces and sports MOVING GLASS EYES. Would have preferred moving rubber nipples, but I guess that'll have to do.

For Nearly $700, One Would Expect He-Man To Show A Little Nipple