Image Source: Tarshana

The greatest tragedy in my life is that I am allergic to cats. I’d normally supplant my desire for cat ownership by getting one in a video game, but, a cursory look at the mods on Nexus shows me that video game cats in popular games like Skyrim and Fallout 4 aren’t quite right. Here are the things Bethesda games get wrong about virtual cats, and the ways highly-endorsed cat mods on Nexus fix those issues.

You Can’t Just Summon A Cat Out Of Thin Air

Have you ever wanted a cat but just couldn’t have one? I do, all day. Well, if you need a cat ASAP in Fallout 4, Craftable Cats has your back. With this mod, you can just go into the decor menu when you’re building a base, and you’ll be able to pluck a cat out of thin air.

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“I wanted some cats for my settlements, so I made this,” Mm137 writes. “Each cat adds +1 happiness. They don’t do anything else, they’re just cats.”

Um, excuse you? Cats don’t need to do anything. Isn’t just having a cat enough?

They Aren’t Literally Your Cat

Cats are missing from both Skyrim and the Skyrim Special Edition, which is a crime against god and man. Cats In Skyrim isn’t the only mod that adds cats into the game, but it is the only mod that will add your cat to the game. That’s right, if you check the discussions for Cats in Skyrim, Tarshana, the maker of this mod, is soliciting pictures of your precious and beautiful cat to be added as a potential follower with each update.

The entire discussion page just devolves into people talking about their kitties. This is the purest thing I’ve seen all day.

You Can’t Ride Them

I think this one’s self explanatory.

They Die

“I have a thing about depictions of cat death,” GenaTrius the maker of the Immortal Cats mod writes. “I can’t stand to see housecats die, in anything. Skyrim’s saber cats or other big cats, I can deal with just fine. Dogs, I can deal with. But house cats? When I read Edgar Allen Poe’s The Black Cat in high school, I completely broke down sobbing in the middle of class. I’m not even joking.”

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Not gonna lie, that’s relatable as fuck. Cats can be assholes, but they’re also beautiful and harm should ever befall them. If you download this Fallout 4 mod, no harm ever will. Thank god.

They Don’t Sound Like Markiplier

Cat meows are pretty adorable, but you know who else is adorable? The games YouTuber Markiplier. Back in 2015 he released a comedy video where he dubbed over cats meowing with his own speech, which is a respectable gag. Well, someone made a mod for Fallout 4 that replaces all cat sounds with Mark’s deep voice. You’re welcome.